It began as the GODFATHER OF MATH, evolved into the GOODFATHER OF MATH. Now this. Go figure...


______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = G. CARLIN...Stain glass, engraved glass, frosted glass
–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES...Music is the mathematics of the gods = PYTHAGORAS... Nothing is more fluid than language = R. L. SWIHART
I cannot live without the oxygen of laughter = DAWN POWELL + + + But please be sure to season that with the hydrogen of gravitas = PAUL OLIVERIO
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Saturday, January 30, 2016

.....................................If Tailfins Were Wings.....................................

________________________________________________________________________________________________

If 1957 expressions of 4-wheeled optimism 
could fly, a Plymouth Belvedere
could get us above and beyond
all of our problems!


And instead of regarding
such automotive ornamentation
as an aerodynamical handicap,
we would ALL regard it with 
aesthetic appreciation
and cool comments!
                   

 But big-finned cars were "gas guzzlers"
(as opposed to having vehicular personality)
and, of course, we needed to drive cars
with better gas mileage.

Therefore, in due time, all the car designers
denuded all cars from anything resembling personality.

New Cars were all "streamlined" but that is only
a fancy way of saying they were lobotomized!

Today, most families own SUV's
which are twice the size 
of the legendary gas guzzlers.

The average gas mileage of 
these behemoth station wagons
is approximately 13 miles to the gallon
which is a hell of a lot worse than 
what that Cadillac or the Belvedere got.


________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
IF TAILFINS WERE WINGS
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.

The cartoon is from  Harry Bliss.

The car images are from  Jay Pegg.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Thank God For Switzerland (But Probably Not For Germany)

________________________________________________________________________________________________


The Swiss government announced this week that it would spend almost $2 nillion to finance research to help museums track down the ownership of art that may have been illegally taken by the Nazis during World War II.



In the toilet tanks of the Swiss government
can be found more human decency than in 
the entire brainpower of

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Saul Steinberg: Not LOL funny but TABTL Funny

________________________________________________________________________________________________

TABTL = Think A Bit Then Laugh
 








Mr. Steinberg was born with
both pixilated skin and an extremely rare
auditory-olfactory overlap.

His nostrils functioned as a third eye.

Dr. Hay WadaMinit advised his parents
to keep Saul out of school and keep him 
supplied with an endless quantity
of drawing pads.

During his toddler years, his parents read
one and only one children's story.
It contained exactly seven words:

There is no such thing
as Nebraska 

Conde Nast  Loves  Saul Steinberg
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Dr. Paul, Debra Winger, And Photographer Paul

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Never before has there been a TV Drama that is pure talk.
IN TREATMENT  is set–almost exclusively–
in Dr. Paul Weston's office.

The psychiatrist is portrayed by  Gabriel Byrne.

This Showtime series is  truly multi-national:

It originated in Israel and the lead actor is from Ireland.

The series is  written by  a Latino.

The  executive producer  is African-American
and OMG one of the patients is
Debra Winger. 

She has lost some of her rasp but
none of her magnificent beauty 
nor her magnificent acting abilities.

This photographer is proud
to be her "Third Eye." 

However, this photographer's favorite patient
of Dr. Weston's is an eight-year-old boy
named Oliver (Aaron Grady Shaw).  
________________________________________________________________________________________________


John Cazale: Appeard In Exactly Five Films = Fifteen Oscars

________________________________________________________________________________________________


He was Fredo in  The GodFather.

In  Godfather II,  he dies on a boat.

Together, those two films won
nine Oscars.

He was in  The Deer Hunter,
which won five Oscars.

He was in  Dog Day Afternoon
with Al Pacino. The film won 
one Oscar.

He was in   The Conversation
with Gene Hackman.

It was nominated for three Oscars.

John Cazale  neither won nor was ever
nominated for an Oscar.

He died much too soon but I blame God for his death
just as I blame God for the death of John Lennon,
Marilyn Monroe, and Jimi Hendrix.

When God gets hungry for talent, 
He will settle for only the best.
He just snatches them away from us.

Robin Williams did not commit suicide.
He just got snatched.

At the age of thirty-three, John died
during the filming of the Deer Hunter.

No one will debate that Meryl Streep
is the greatest living actress.

John Cazale  was her first true love.

Al Pacino (and others) will tell you 
how important Cazale 
was to a movie set.

To hear Pacino say
John was the most giving actor 
I've ever worked with, 
the most involved 
and sensitve,
all you got to do is get this DVD        
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Sic But True #2: This Is Saul There Is

________________________________________________________________________________________________



He was neither 
Raul nor Paul
He was  Saul


He was neither
Goldberg nor Feinberg
He was  Steinberg




________________________________________________________________________________________________

       

Friday, January 29, 2016

Palm Towers: A Condo For Woodworms

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Oliverio

But not all woodworms 
need apply.

Only those directly descended
from the woodworm present
on Noah's Ark.

That woodworm was
THE STOWAWAY 

And reported his findings 
to Julian Barnes

Evidently, Noah was not
as heroic as other reporters 
Biblical scholars would 
have you believe.



Part of what that 
Woodworm had to say:

While they said they’d take two of each  species, when it came down to it... 
Some creatures were simply 
NOT WANTED ON VOYAGE.
That was the case with us;
that’s why we had to stowaway.

And any number of beasts,
with a perfectly good legal argument 
for being a separate species,
had their claims dismissed.

No, we’ve  got two of you already,
they were told.
 

Well, what difference do 
a few extra rings around  the tail make?
We've got you, Sorry.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Thursday, January 28, 2016

::: Sic But True: PHARMER'S ALMANAC (January 28, 2016) :::

________________________________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

Big Pharma to sell drug called Expensia
which has contraindication
of empty feeling in pockets.

____________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
SIC BUT TRUE (PHARMER'S ALMANAC)
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL. 
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Wednesday, January 27, 2016

This Is Not...This Is (TIN/TI #20)

________________________________________________________________________________________________



⬆ 
THIS IS NOT 
Refrigerator art 


      THIS IS 
Refrigerator art
     
 

The first image is what you see
when you google  Helen Frankelthaler. 

The next page in this series is  here. 
 _______________________________________________________________________________________________


Always There When I Need Him: If Only Reverse Had Been True

________________________________________________________________________________________________

I am presently eleven years older
than my father was when he died.

We presently have
very meaningful conversations
whenever I feel the need
to conduct them


I was twenty-one years old
when he died
but I have yet to see
a more handsome man than he

...AND...

All of the above equally applies
—with gender differential—
to my mother

 
The one exception:
I am sixteen years older
than she ever was 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________


Walmart Blues: 48 Hours Before The Doors Are Locked Forever

________________________________________________________________________________________________




© Oliverio (3x)
Six Blocks From The Pacific Ocean
(90802) 

This might never have happened
if they had agreed to publish my book:
A Shoplifter's Guide to Walmart

So be it  
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Barney Miller's Fish And Michael Corleone's Rat... R.I.P.

________________________________________________________________________________________________



ABE VIGODA
died yesterday, one month shy 
of his ninety-fifth birthday.

In  THE GODFATHER,
Abe portrayed  Tessio,
a trusted compatriot
of Don Corleone
who ultimately
conspires to kill 
the Don's heir: 
Michael Corleone.

In the TV sitcom,  Barney Miller,  he was Fish.


Abe Vigoda's acting career  spanned eight decades.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Because She Smoked Two Packs Of Cigarets Every Day...

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Pat Welsh  was chosen
to provide the voice of  E.T.




She was paid  $380 
for her services.


But during rehearsals of 
the voice was provided 


This page is 100% fiction-free but hyperlink-heavy.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Jewish Heirs Sue Swiss Museum to Recover Constable Painting

________________________________________________________________________________________________


PARIS-
Jewish descendants of the owner of a John Constable
landscape have sued to reclaim the painting
from a regional Swiss museum where it hangs
now with a note acknowledging that 
it was illegally seized during World War II.

Since 2006, the heirs of Anna Jaffé and
the Musée des Beaux-Arts in La Chaux-de-Fonds
in northwest Switzerland have clashed over the rights
to the landscape, “Dedham From Langham,” 
an 1813 scene of the English countryside
that has been valued at about $1 million.
...


Text is verbatim

Another article about same subject is  here.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
Kudos to the Musee des Beaux-Arts for acknowledging
the painting was "illegally seized."

The absence of such acknowledgement–
wherever fine is on exhibit–in no way indicates
that "illegal seizure" does not figure
into whatever art is being exhibited.

But in no way should that diminish
the aesthetic appreciation of the exhibited work!
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Broadcasthoughtitis

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Either her space bar wasn't working or Mrs. CarPeo discovered a disease that we all should have, when in the proper company or an email/text  is received by someone near and dear to the sender.

 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


In 1936, Spuyten Duyvil And Northern-most Manhattan...

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Were connected by the Henry Hudson Bridge.

Thirteen years later, I was born.

Sixty-years after that, on the
eleventh day of October–
I crossed that bridge.

Less than ninety hours later,
having traversed twelve states
and three thousand miles,
I arrived home in 
Long Beach, 
California.

My distinct memory of crossing that bridge was an exclamation:
I take the Henry to the George 

The bridge spanning the Spuyten Duyvil Creek segued into the
Henry Hudson Parkway in Harlem and down the road apiece–
crossing a much wider body of water–
was the George Washington Bridge,
free of toll when entering
New Jersey.

It was the  inkwell hour 
of 5AM and this image 
of the George is 
exactly what I saw
from the Henry.


Unfortunately, I did not take that picture.
I was too busy driving at that hour 
to take any photographs.

I was too busy Sputening my Duyvil 
despite having no idea what that means.

Anyway, one month after returning to Long Beach,
I received a letter from the Henry Hudson
Bridge Commission.

I had neglected to pay a $5.50 toll and there was
a $5 late fee to be added to that amount.

Honestly, I did not do so intentionally.

I had been too excited about taking 
the Henry to the George to notice
the toll booth.

Maybe Spuyten Duyvil means
Spitting on the Devil.

The week before Christmas, I called the number 
on the citation and something wonderful happened.

Wonderful is not a word often associated with
having to pay a traffic citation but I was told
that the late fee did not apply.

In other words, I was given–approximately–
a 50% discount on a bill I had to pay.

I wished the lady on the phone 
a Merry Christmas and she did 
the same to me.

What I wish for today is that
I were back in the arms 
of the woman for whom
I drove to New York
last summer.

If only she could Spuyten her Duyvil
and walk through my door...

She would 
no longer 
have to 
send me
pictures
like this 
one →

 


________________________________________________________________________________________________


Monday, January 25, 2016

Most (If Not All) Parents Will Understand This HBO Quote

________________________________________________________________________________________________


                                              
Having a teenager is like going
to the dark side of the moon.   
Dr. Paul Weston
(portrayed by Gabriel Byrne)
In Treatment
________________________________________________________________________________________________

IT'S REALLY REALLY LONG...Is An Actual NY Times Headline

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Begin with the number 1 and then double it
...double it again...and again...and again...
The results will look like this

1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64...

To get up to 64 is not too difficult a task
for most humans.
...

A computer at 
the University of Central Missouri
(Machine #5 in Room 143)
repeated this doubling process
more than seventy four million times
and then–for good measure–subtracted 1
...
The result is the 15th GIMP

And  Curtis Cooper  discovered
THE NEW LARGEST PRIME NUMBER

22,338,618
is how many digits are in this 
REALLY, REALLY LONG
number


New York Times
(1-22-16)
________________________________________________________________________________________________


And Now Presenting... Saggie ...The Nephew Of Oscar

________________________________________________________________________________________________


And Now Presenting an Analogy:
Saggie is to the 
Screen Actors Guild
as Oscar is to the
Academy of Motion Picture Arts And Sciences

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
The image is from  Art Daily.

________________________________________________________________________________________________


A Poem From Barbara Crooker

________________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________


We start by fanning out the money, colored

like Necco wafers: pink, yellow, mint, gold.

From the first roll of the dice, differences widen:

the royal blues of Boardwalk and Park Place

look down their noses at the grapey immigrants

from Baltic and Mediterranean Avenues.

My grandparents coming from Italy in steerage

measured their gold in olive oil, not bank notes

and deeds. The man in the top hat and tuxedo

always holds the good cards. The rest of us

hope we can pay the Electric Company.

We know there is no such thing as Free Parking
and Bank Errors are never in our favor.

In the background, Johnny Mathis croons

Chances Are from the cracked vinyl radio.

We played for hours, in those years

before television, on the Formica table,

while my mother coaxed a chicken,

cooking all day on the back burner, to multiply

itself into many meals. The fat rose to the surface,

a roiling ocean of molten gold.


____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Homemade (©omic Relief #909)

________________________________________________________________________________________________


"This is Mr. Beep.
The party to which you want to speak
is unspeakable at this time.
Please leave a message
when I repeat my name."

© Oliverio/Robson
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Sunday, January 24, 2016

A Pavoratti Meatloaf Duet For Dawn Powell And Princess Diana

________________________________________________________________________________________________





















In 1932,  Dawn Powell entitled a novel 
Comeback To Sorrento but, to her chagrin,
it was originally published 
with a different title. 

The story is about an aspiring opera singer,
Connie Benjamin, who marries a shoemaker 
and lives in rural Ohio where there is nothing
resembling high culture.

The image of Ms. Powell on the previous page 
appears in a lecture given by a historian.
That lecture is  here. 

In 1995,  Luciano Pavarotti and Meatloaf
(the rock n' roller,  not the dish)
sang the song which inspired 
the title of Ms. Powell's novel.

I would like to believe that  Princess Diana, 
who attended the benefit concert,
gave at least one thought
to the late, great Dawn Powell
during the bi-lingual song sung by
  Mr. Pavarotti and Mr. Meatloaf. 


Dean Martin  also sang it bi-lingually.

The complete lyrics, 
in both English and Italian,
are  there.

Dawn Powell's next page is  here. 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Saturday, January 23, 2016

D. Powell Poetry :: :: Autumn In Ohio (1932) :: :: An Excerpt

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Little houses warmed themselves
in the scarlet glory
of overhanging maples
Hydrangeas gloomily cherished
their last rusty blossoms

Withering hedges shrunk back
from the little white fences
they had concealed
all summer long.


Come Back To Sorrento 

Her next page is  here. 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Photoverio © (#163): When I Am Jolted With Too Much Java...

________________________________________________________________________________________________

This is what their sign looks like:

© Oliverio

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Photoverio © (#162): El Nino Damage, The Morning After

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Oliverio
Two hours after an El Nino "deluge"
hit Southern California, the shadow of
A tree fell on a parking lot!
________________________________________________________________________________________________


.... A New York Deck Duo Defined By A Blizzard Named Jonas ....

________________________________________________________________________________________________

He can still smile
While she is so 
White and proper!

Do you come here often?
________________________________________________________________________________________________


The Brother of Al and Buddy

________________________________________________________________________________________________

My mother was Detty
My father was Gus
 
His joke was:
I’d rather drive a bus
 
You know him well
 

You think him swell

I know the wife
he couldn’t 
resist
 
You act as if
she didn’t 
exist

You use his name
consider him great

But without my mother
he couldn’t create:

No birds, no bees
no mountain, no sea
and, of course,
no me!
 
His bus joke began
as he took to gloomin’
after they created
the so-called human

Detty said to Gus
They need to be
more like us
 
At me she pointed
I felt disjointed

(Caught from some wrong I did?)
 
Then she said
Let’s send them
this kid
*
 * 
I did like pranks
I was always a joker

They played games
Their favorite was poker

I'd serve them snacks
while they gambled
and talked

But one night 
I changed their chocolate
into chalk

They got really mad
and started to squalk

I thought a gangplank
they'd make me walk

But all they did was
send me to my room

They made me sweep the floor
with a one-bristle broom

Yet I did get laughs
from my two brothers

As far as equals
there were no others

Al played war games
in the sand

Buddy preferred 
to walk the land

Until he hurt his knees
then he sat cross-legged
under the trees

Eating nothing but cheese
and counting the fleas

When Al stopped laughing
about parents eating chalk

He said Little Brother:
We have to talk
But no gangplank
will you walk

It's worse than that–
you'll learn what its worth–
Cuz Mom and Dad are
sending you to Earth!

The humans will credit you
with miracles–for sure–

When, in truth, you're just 
doing a family chore

But ours is a family
that unfurled 
what others call
the world

The wisdom of humans
is a matter of dearth

You'll be the result
of a–LOL–virgin birth 

Then our father's voice boomed
And I stood up with fear 

Jessie, get your loincloth.
You are outta here!
...
...
...

Returning 33 years later,
with nail holes still fresh

My family was grateful
I still had my flesh 

What did I learn?
They asked with a smile
Was all of our creation
worthwhile? 

The stars and the mountains
are well worth the labor

Dogs, cats,goats...
have such natural behavior

All the birds 
sing so sweet

I thought that 
was pretty neat

Almost all the species
deserve a thumbs up

But somebody please–
pass the wine cup

One question from me
(after some heavy drinking)
When you created "humans"
what were you thinking?  
        

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
THE BROTHER OF AL AND BUDDY
 is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.

Detty is an alternate spelling of Deity.

Gus is a substitute for another
three-letter word beginning with G.

Detty's proper name earned her
the title of  Original Godmother. 

Buddy's favorite cheese was Gouda.
That is why you know him as B____. 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Friday, January 22, 2016

This is NOT About Me Because I Am Not Mr. Zarathustra

________________________________________________________________________________________________

As I look at it today my treatise 
strikes me as quite impossible. 
It is poorly written, heavy handed, embarrassing. 
The imagery is both frantic and confused. 
In spots it is saccharine to the point of effeminacy; 
the tempo is erratic; it lacks logical nicety
and is so sure of its message that it dispenses
with any kind of proof.
Worse than that, it suspects
the very notion of proof
...

Preface to
THE BIRTH OF TRAGEDY
   ...

There is no criticism more valid than self-criticism.
But Birth of Tragedy should be required reading
for anyone with a pure and serious interest
in philosophy, art, and history:
A category of people that naturally
excludes this blogger. 
               
               
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
Two more quotes from Mr. Nietzsche are  here. 

He is the author of  Thus Spake Zarathustra: A Book for All and None.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


........................................Hail To The HIRO........................................

________________________________________________________________________________________________









Hiro's photographs




Hiro, the photographer





Another day,
Another  discovery for me!
Thanks to  Art Daily
________________________________________________________________________________________________