It began as the GODFATHER OF MATH, evolved into the GOODFATHER OF MATH. Now this. Go figure...


______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = G. CARLIN...Stain glass, engraved glass, frosted glass
–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES...Music is the mathematics of the gods = PYTHAGORAS... Nothing is more fluid than language = R. L. SWIHART
I cannot live without the oxygen of laughter = DAWN POWELL + + + But please be sure to season that with the hydrogen of gravitas = PAUL OLIVERIO
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

CarPeo Set Piece #70 ... Her Hat + My Leg

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Mrs. CarPeo

Sunday at the Ballpark

The next
CarPeo Set Piece
is
here
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
Between the two of us, fifty pictures
were taken at Angel Stadium on August 5, 2017.

My two favorite pictures are this one
and that one.

Both images emphasize
our party of three
and de-emphasize
the action on the field.

So be it.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Otherwise Known As ... Just Admit You Did Something Stupid

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The only thing worse than behaving
 irrational and erratic
is believing your behavior 
is rational and perfectly
normal. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________
 Footnotes
The subtitle of this page is
 "THE 80th BULLET" 
and it is the copyrighted property of  LCSoL.

Only the first 45 Bullets are linked together
because we do not want to make life easy
for our favorite thieves.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Sunday, August 13, 2017

Somewhere Under And Somewhere Within

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Mrs. CarPeo
SOMEWHERE UNDER THE RAINBOW
is Paul


© Oliverio
SOMEWHERE INSIDE THE RAINBOW
a guitarist is
frozen in time 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


From An Essay About Scott Fitzgerald

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The best writing never makes the reader feel
like they’re reading. It gives them an experience,
transports them, black ink on white parchment
acting as teleporter to new realms,
feelings, emotions, truths.

Paging F. Scott Fitzgerald:
Please Rescue Modern Fiction 

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Poorly Quality Reproductions From The MADropolitan Museum

________________________________________________________________________________________________



JARED KUSHNER: THE BIRTH OF TREASON
by  James Warhola
approximating
Sandro Botticelli

GIRL WITH THE REALLY
EXPENSIVE LINE OF EARRINGS
by  Roberto Parada
approximating
Johannes Vermeer


DONALD'S WORLD
by  Mark Fredrickson
approximating
Andrew Wyeth

High quality reproductions
available from
MAD Magazine 
October, 2017

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
The next GoFather/Trump page is
TBD.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Friday, August 11, 2017

If And When It Happens [HKu #41]

________________________________________________________________________________________________


When money is staring
you in the face,
don't give it
the evil eye.

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
IF AND WHEN IT HAPPENS
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.

The next GoFather Haiku page is
TBD.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Thursday, August 10, 2017

About That Wallpaper in Woody Allen's Stardust Memories

________________________________________________________________________________________________




This is a scene from
Woody Allen's film
Stardust Memories
(1980)








That is a partial list 
of the cast from
HEAD 

The surrealistic and psychedelic 1968 film about the  Monkees 
was co-written
by Jack Nicholson.

Because HEAD features
actual footage of that 
shocking image from 
VietNam, the names of 
both executioner and 
the executed are listed.


Both HEAD and Stardust Memories, however, qualify as comedies.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Sheep Talk (Comic Relief #1855)

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dave Coverly
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Chair And Share Alike ... [ pST #23]

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Reading the fine print

© Oliverio

This must be Love
A sentiment so nice,
it is written thrice.


The next 
Superimposed Text page
is
TBD


The p in the title
stands for
photoverio
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Miller's Analogy Test Question For The MODERN STUDENT

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Anger is to Intelligence as:

A)  Sunshine is to an ice cube
B)  Sunshine is to an ice sculpture
C)  Sunshine is to ice
D)  Any of the above 

: : : : : : : :

The MODERN STUDENT is defined
as one who is easily offended
by incorrect answers.

The  MAT  is to the SAT
as  Lightning  is to the Lightning Bug.
 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Photoverio © (#265): The Former Gas Mask Said ...

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Oliverio 

We can't go on meeting like this
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Monday, August 7, 2017

See No Evil (Comic Relief #1851)

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Winsor McKay

To measure the influence
of Mr. McKay on
modern comic art 
is to measure
an interplanetary
distance
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Sunday, August 6, 2017

Take Me Out To The Ballpark

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Play on, sweet Lord
the tune I
once knew as
lullabye

On a field
divine
twixt two 
white lines

The names change
and always the score
has one with less
the other, more
 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Saturday, August 5, 2017

Pigeon English ... Remembering Lost Love Ones [ pST #22]

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Oliverio 
For  those
who have forgotten
the Exxon Valdez 


The next 
Superimposed Text page
is
TBD


The p in the title
stands for
photoverio
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Friday, August 4, 2017

One More From The NEZ ... With Chopsticks And A Backbeat

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Chow mein and bowling
Twinkies and champagne
Moon over McDonald’s
Frozen pizza in the rain
In the rain

Dancing in the dump truck
Dining with the dog
Laughing in the bathtub
With a ducky and a frog

Stake me to an anthill
Shoot me to the moon
Without you I am no one


Like a burger with no bun
I can’t go on

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Thursday, August 3, 2017

From The Seal Beach Pier ... [ pST #21]

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Oliverio
Rod and Reel
and Rodrigos


The next 
Superimposed Text page
is
here 




The p in the title
stands for
photoverio
________________________________________________________________________________________________


A Motherly Quote From Monkee Mike Nesmith

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Mike Nesmith

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
Mike's mother,  Bette Nesmith Graham,
invented "White Out."


Bette Nesmith's son
did not invent MTV
but he is often referred to as
the GodFather of MTV

The next
Nesmith page is
here
________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Photoverio © (#264): Tribute To Edward Hopper

________________________________________________________________________________________________

famously portrayed
Nighthawks

© Oliverios

Awaiting the Nighthawks
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Photoverio © (#263): YES, You Are Seeing Double

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Double Exposure, that is

© Oliverio

The exposure doubles
and so do
The photo bubbles 

________________________________________________________________________________________________


A Quote From A Former Monkee

________________________________________________________________________________________________


A puzzle stops being a puzle
to anyone who solves it.

Mike Nesmith


The quote is from 
page 160
of this edition

The next quote 
is from p.170


________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
The title, INFINITE TUESDAY,
was inspired by this  Paul Crum  cartoon:

________________________________________________________________________________________________

A Strawberry Statement


________________________________________________________________________________________________


...
...
You do not have to be a baseball maniac
to appreciate this list from
BASEBALL ALMANAC

For example, if the term
Father and Son
means anything to you,
see the names ranked 
#4  and  #258
a/k/a
Barry Bond and Bobby Bonds 

Consider the word
Godfather:
Bobby played 
on the same as
Willie Mays
who is the
Godfather of Barry
!!!

The title of this page
refers to a thingie called
 Benchmark   

as in 1000 of something:

In the entire history
of Major League Baseball,
Darryl Strawberry
is the only player
to have exactly
1000
Runs Batted In

In the entire history
of the planet,
there have been
approximately
16,000
Major League
Baseball Players

Only 282 of them
had more RiBbIes
than Darryl 
!!!
!!!

The 1000 RBI Club
is indeed an exclusive subset
when only 283 out of 16,000
people qualify for membership

 
283 out of
It is no coincidence that
an exclamation mark
looks like a baseball ball
standing on a baseball
!!!
!!!
Another benchmark:
1,000,000,000

That is approximately
how many memories
this list can inspire

And 4 is about how many
GoFather of Math pages
this list will inspire
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Monday, July 31, 2017

Finders Keepers But I Am Not My Brother's Keeper

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Find it here
there and everywhere
but not within

Oh Fault
only I am free
of your grasp

Paul Oliverio

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
FINDERS KEEPERS
BUT I AM NOT MY BROTHER'S KEEPER
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.

The last time I wrote
three poems in one day,
I was on a school bus,
wondering about life after high school.
________________________________________________________________________________________________

Turvy And Textbook

________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Up against the wall
Up against the world
Up against the clock
His reactions
—Topsy, turvy, and textbook—
Made the wall
Look just like him

Paul Oliverio 


________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
Written less than three hours ago,
TURVY AND TEXTBOOK
is the copyrighted property of
LCSoL.

The last time I wrote
two poems in on day,
I was on a NYC subway,
thinking about life after college. 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


The 79th Bullet: Easy Hard Hardest

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Lust is easy.
Love is hard work
but the labor involved
is small potatoes
compared to
Trust.

________________________________________________________________________________________________
 Footnote
THE 79th BULLET  is the copyrighted property of  LCSoL.

Only the first 45 Bullets are linked together
because we do not want to make life easy
for our favorite thieves.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


She Snores, I Cough, Then Reach for Another Cigaret

________________________________________________________________________________________________

As the world
rolls the dice
and eats breakfast

The worm churns
in the window
pretending to
have wings

As thee dog
licks his bowl
and points
to the door

The wrinkles
stand in line
awaiting soap

Salami is ready
for her skateboard

I need
a cup of coffee

Paul Oliverio 


________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
Written less than three hours ago,
SHE SNORES, I COUGH,
THEN REACH FOR ANOTHER CIGARET
is the copyrighted property of
LCSoL. 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Sunday, July 30, 2017

Slicey The Sandman

________________________________________________________________________________________________


pVery pVery pIneresting
________________________________________________________________________________________________


A Page So Nice, I Have Now Posted It Thrice

________________________________________________________________________________________________

WHY WE DON'T SAY
PRAISE BE TO JOEY


At the Church of the Solid Cinder
There was no Original Sin
But there was
the Original Twin

So much smaller in stature
With eyes never opened wide
Little Joey Christ was
equally crucified

Except for the Solid Cinder
All scripture is at a loss
Accounting for
the miniature cross

Big Brother Jesus
Got all the press
Little Twin Joey always
made a mess

Present at the Miracle
Of the Loaves  and Fishes
Joey washed all the dishes

Smashing plates while
Turning water into mud
Joey's only words were
Thud Thud Thud

Of Joey's official miracle
History gave no talk
Little Joey Christ made
chocolate into chalk

But no devil is
This Little He
Who only believed
in tomfoolery

As for me,
The scribe I be
May need hide
in a vault

If only
To avoid
Becoming
a pile of salt


________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
This page is the copyrighted Property of LCSoL.

The original title was
The Original Twin ... #999

The second title was
a/k/a GodFather of Math (p1003) 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Photoverio © (#262): GSS Security System

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Oliverio 
Cat Burglars Beware!
________________________________________________________________________________________________


When Life Imitates Art

________________________________________________________________________________________________


On the twentieth of July,
Comedy Central broadcast
an episode of THE PRESIDENT SHOW
 in which the President of the United States
is flattered to be referred to as 
"The Mobster President."

He calls himself THE DON
 and has a private meeting
with three Mafia Goombahs.

On the twenty first of July,
the morning after this broadcast,
the actual President of the United States
appointed Anthony Scaramucci
White House Director of Communications.

If the Mooch is not a Mafia by-product,
then my name is Albert Einstein.

Given the vast reach of 
Saturday Night Live,
The most famous Donald Trump
impersonator is Alec Baldwin.

Baldwin does a great caricature
of the President but on the smaller scale
of Comedy Central,  Anthony Atamanuik 
breathes real life comedy/tragedy
into his portrayal of Donald Trump.

If you watch him for an entire episode
[Thursday Night, 11:30PM],
you will then have a difficult time
enjoying Baldwin doing the same thing.   

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
The next GoFather/Trump page is
here.
________________________________________________________________________________________________

Photoverio © (#261): A Flawed Photograph

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Oliverio 
From the Smoker's Nest
Above the Breakers' Sky Room
(7/4/17)
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Photoverio © (#260): Nicky The Gnome

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Oliverio
Nicky the Gnome is sitting
and waiting but he is not
waiting for Godot.

He is waiting for 
the potted amaryllis
to flower.

If it does not flower,
he may fly away
on his magic broom.

Or me may not.

:::
:::
:::



PS

My better half
inspired this flower 
from that plant
 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Please Don't Talk To Me Today

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Unless your name is
Duke Ellington or 
Mozart or Satchmo.

Unless you are the Beatles, Jefferson 
Airplane or Chuck
Berry, I am not 
interested in 
what you have
to say.

I intend to make this an all day headphone affair.

I will take the A-Train up to Strawberry Fields.

Then I will ride on a Surrealistic Pillow with Maybelline.

And end it with a little night music.

What a wonderful world this could be.

If I sing along to what only my ears can hear,
please do your best not to listen.

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing In The Shadows?

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Pork chops, veal cutlets, and London broil were the rule, not the exception, when neither spaghetti nor lasagna were served for dinner. Or five default chicken recipes from Uncle Willy, the Maitre'd at the Waldorf Astoria.

In 1944, he was the best man at my parents' wedding. He was the only German married to an Oliverio. There were seven married Oliverio siblings plus one priest.

Uncle Willy was married to my Godmother, my unforgetable Aunt Kay. He also introduced my father to the restaurant business.

In 1961, Sam Oliverio managed a Long Island country club.

He would routinely order five hundred pounds of prime cut meat and our family lived twelve miles away from the club. 

Fifty pounds of Thank You prime were delivered to our home by the meat salesman.

"My wife," said Sam 
to the salesman
"is jail bait."

Sam said nothing about
his twelve-year-old son.  

My mother and I were
playing Scrabble when 
a strange man walked up
our driveway carrying
two heavy bags.

She walked outside
and I heard a flustering voice
explaining why he was there.

But I had a seven letter word to play.
Infinite was worth 78 points.

And then I walked out onto the patio,
standing next to the woman, who was 
looking at the man standing 
at the bottom of the stairs.

He was still holding the bags,
hoping to be invited up the stairs.

"You're husband was right," he said,
"You are jail bait."

But then he saw a twelve-year-old boy
with the eyes of Don Corleone.

He had said, "You're husband was right."

Then he was full of fright
without my saying
a word.

My eyes did all the talking.

"I'll just leave the bags here."

In a kneeling gesture,
fifty pounds of prime meat
were set down on the ground.

Like a cartoon rabbit,
the salesman turned around
and made a whoosh of an exit. 

I walked down the stairs and
carried the bags to the kitchen.

My mother refrigerated all the meat
then we finished the game of Scrabble.

I had never before heard the expression  
"jail bait" but those were the last two words
my Mother played and she won
the game.

But I got to choose what she would cook for dinner.
We had veal cutlet parmigiana.

Fifty six years after that day,
when I am standing in the shadows,
I can still taste veal cutlets.


________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
The story is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.

But the title is the soundtrack.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Thursday, July 27, 2017

Evolution Blues

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Nature made man out of monkey
according to ancient history

But it took a beautiful woman
to make a monkey out of me

She'll give you a sweet talk
and great big hug and squeeze

And before you know it, man 
that woman have you climbing trees

According to scientific history

So it was told to me

It took a thousand years for nature
to make a man out of monkey
But it took a very short time for woman
to make a monkey out of man
You don't need a map of the world
or a blueprint to understand

Cousin Joe

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Sunday, July 23, 2017

Please Take Advantage Of My Nostalgic Moment

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Unless the sight of serious algebra
causes serious suicidal thoughts
...
...
  
Once upon a time
I called this
a JBL equation
That is,
you can solve this 
Just By Looking


 The equation has two of everything:

15 appears twice
X appears twice

There are two Plus Signs 
and there are two
square root thingies

The question is
SOLVE FOR  X

Three simple steps
is all it takes.

 ❶ Subtract 1 from 15   [=14]

Take half of that result  [=7] 

Multiply it by itself [= 49]
    
Therefore
X = 49

...
...


Regardless of what
the number is
(as long as it is an odd #)
do the same three steps:

IF
all things were the same
but the number = 11
[instead of 15]
THEN
11 ⇛ 10 ⇛ 5 ⇛ 25


________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
This is the rarest of pages
where the dark (or red) print
does not indicate a hyperlink.
________________________________________________________________________________________________

Saturday, July 22, 2017

Black Music

________________________________________________________________________________________________





I would never have believed
anyone who told me that
Someday, you will listen
to music in alphabetical order



But that is what I do



If asked five times,
Which of these 
is your favorite song
I could sincerely give
five different answers


However, were I required—at gunpoint—to single out
one track to share with anyone not named Paul Oliverio,
it would be  Joyce Green's BLACK CADILLAC   
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Photoverio © (#259): Midnight Blurificence

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Oliverio

Connect the dots
(7/4/17) 
________________________________________________________________________________________________