It began as the GODFATHER OF MATH, evolved into the GOODFATHER OF MATH. Now this. Go figure...


______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = G. CARLIN...Stain glass, engraved glass, frosted glass
–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES...Music is the mathematics of the gods = PYTHAGORAS... Nothing is more fluid than language = R. L. SWIHART
I cannot live without the oxygen of laughter = DAWN POWELL + + + But please be sure to season that with the hydrogen of gravitas = PAUL OLIVERIO
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sunday, December 31, 2017

Most Meaningful Illustration Of Chuck Berry For The Year 2017

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Possibly based
on a promotional photo
for his classic song
School Days

OR

was it based  on the story
of Chuck Berry's teenage years
when  Chuck would read
school books while playing guitar
in front of his father,
hoping Mr. Berry
would buy a car for his 
studious son.

Thus, inspiring the song
Dear Dad

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
The illustration was drawn
by  Ben Kirchener for Dave Barry's
Year In Review
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Pretend Today Were The Last Day Of June And A Small Child

________________________________________________________________________________________________

...
Without parent or guardian
providing advance notice
about this sculpture

—And it was six month after Christmas—

If a small child
encountered
up close and personal
what you see here:

It is thirty feet tall
!!!

The small child
would probably scream
out of fear.

But fret not:

It is not the last day of June.

It is the last day of December
and the behemoth SANTA CLAUS
still holds sway at the centerpoint
of the South Coast Plaza Mall
in Orange County.

SANTA will be on display
through (at least)
the first week of the new year.

The thirty foot decoration
is equipped with magnets
that will draw out
all credit cards
of everyone
carrying them.

That probably excludes
the very small children
but purchases will be made
within a reasonable
radius of SANTA:

Much to the delight
of the children
and, of course,
the merchants
of the mall.

Timing is everything.

But most stores still accept cash
every day of the year. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
IF TODAY WERE THE LAST DAY OF JUNE
...AND A VERY SMALL CHILD
is the copyrighted property
of LCSoL.

Happy New Year
to anyone who reads this. 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


The Ultimate Wrestling Champion + The Ultimate Speechwriter

________________________________________________________________________________________________



Let us pretend
this is a photograph
of Gustavo Gargantua,
who has just won 
the World Wide Wrestling
championship from
Hillario Klintock.



He fights dirty 
and the wrestling fans
go crazy over his
Dastardly Detailed Demonics.

It would not be difficult
to imagine Gustavo
—with gusto and bravado—
ranting to the crowd. 

I am the greatest!
I know all the dastardly details
about winning
better than anybody
—better than the greatest wrestler—
I know the demonic details
of taking down opponents
better than a ghost.
Better than a ghoul.

If I didn't, I couldn't have put
one million people in this arena,
ultimately to get booed
for being a bombastic
bad boy.

My first act as the new 
World Champ is to put
the defeated Hilario Klintock
in Jail.
***


But sometimes we have  to pretend
to get to a greater truth.


For example, 
I pretended that 
Jinder Mahal changed his name
to Gustavo Gargantua.

But only a small stretch
of the imagination
would have him
ranting like he did
in this scenario.

However,
instead of me
authoring the words, 
they would have been written by
the C.E.O of World Wide Wrestling.

That man is Vince McMahon.
More recently
—and quite factually—
a similar-sounding speech

That speech was given by this man:


Is it possible that
the Donald Trump's speech
was written by Vince McMahon?

Frightening as it may seem,
the answer might be
YES

***
***


The next
GoFather/Trump
   page is  here    

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Breakfast With Scott And Zelda And Franz And Yelberton And ...

________________________________________________________________________________________________

I asked Kafka to pass the salt.
He passed it in the other direction.
Joan Rivers told a joke about saltpeter.

Zelda didn't think it was funny
But Scott laughed hysterically:
"I'm gonna give saltpeter
to all the other men in your life."
Y. A. Tittle served bacon.
He frisbeed slices
onto everyone's plate.

John Lennon sat on a cornflake
and waited for
the milk to come.

Langston Hughes told a story
about cornflakes
and the merchant marines.

Zelda laughed hysterically.
Scott echoed her laughter
without understanding why.

Gertrude Stein asked if anyone
wanted more
chapter and verse.

Richard Pryor asked for 
a few punctuation marks.
I passed him the orange juice.
He passed it to Lewis Carroll
who was sitting between
the Bishop and the Queen.
The juice made it all around the table
but Marilyn Monroe double-gulped.
The more people drank,
the more juice there was.
Then in walked Yesterday,
with her notebook,
gathering autographs.

But all she said to me was
"You need more sleep."

***
***


________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
BREAKFAST WITH SCOTT AND ZELDA
AND FRANZ AND YELBERTON AND ...
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.

The next GoFather/Fitzgerald
page is
TBD
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Saturday, December 30, 2017

Imagine A Chess Board ... With Naked Kings And Queens ...

________________________________________________________________________________________________


This is NOT fake news
________________________________________________________________________________________________


The Ultimate DR. FRANKENSTEIN ... Quoted Before And After

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Tony Schwartz 
was the ghostwriter
hired by Donald Trump to write
Tony Schwartz said this
during the 2016
Presidential campaign:


BUT
the Ghostwriter
is quoted again:
  
Both text images are from
New Yorker Magazine

The next
GoFather/Trump
page is
here
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Friday, December 29, 2017

Twenty Four/ Seven Minus Twenty Four/ Seven Is Zero [HKu #49]

________________________________________________________________________________________________


The pursuit of knowledge
24/7 leaves no time
for wisdom.

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
TWENTY FOUR/SEVEN MINUS
TWENTY FOUR/SEVEN IS ZERO
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL

The next GoFather Haiku page is
here
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Blending Into The Night ... [ pST #34]

________________________________________________________________________________________________


The quality of
Alicia's Music
is superior to 
the quality of
this photograph

***

***


The next 
Superimposed Text page
is
here

The p in the title
stands for
photoverio 

________________________________________________________________________________________________


There Is Hope For 63% Of Him ... [ pST #33]

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Available from this Website ©
$20.02
 
***

The next 
Superimposed Text page
is
here 


The p in the title
stands for
photoverio

________________________________________________________________________________________________
FOOTNOTE
Our mailing address will be made available
to anyone who inquires about purchase
of this very cool and contemporary
t-shirt.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Thursday, December 28, 2017

If I Were A Life Coach

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Shallow be thy shame
if life's game

Needs more variety
than anxiety

***

Know when to detach
when to be flirty
 
Know when to spit
 when to curtsy
 
Know when to jump in
when to jump out

Know when to whisper
when to shout
 
Know where the door is
always

Know what the score is
almost always

***
Not all
similarities
are the same
 
Not all
your enemies are friendly
with  each other
 
Not every
uptown is UP TOWN

not every
double negative is a yes

not every
ziggurat is a smoke
 
not every
thing is a joke


***
***




________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
IF I WERE A LIFECOACH
is the copyrighted property
of LCSoL
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Wednesday, December 27, 2017

MEETING OF MINDS ... Superior To My Own ... Sur Really (Sic)

________________________________________________________________________________________________


There is not enough
seriousness
in what we do.

Everyone wanders around
having his own
individual perceptions.

These, like balls of different colors
and sizes and shapes,
roll around the green
billiard table of consciousness.


________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
Image =  Man Ray

Text =  Donald Barthelme

This page = [MoM #1] 

 MoM = Meeting of Minds
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Monday, December 25, 2017

Happy Birthday, Rickey ... He Has Same Birthday As JC

________________________________________________________________________________________________



The greatest lead-off batter
in the history of the game,
Rickey Henderson
is also 
one of the most
quotable baseball players
on the planet.
***


BONUS QUOTE:
If my uniform doesn't get dirty, 
I haven't done nothing
in the baseball game. 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


The CarPeos ... Have Something To Say ... On This Special Day ...

________________________________________________________________________________________________



________________________________________________________________________________________________


Mr. Topor Wants To Give Christmas Thumbs Up To The Unknown

________________________________________________________________________________________________

reveals someone discovering

Ball and Chain signify honest admission
that the background musicians
are mediocre at best
BUT
Jack McCarthy's lyrics for
Willie The Christmas Weasel
should be required listening
for anyone celebrating
this holiday
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Helpful HANKSgiving Christmas Gift From ... The SON OF TOM

________________________________________________________________________________________________


 

Colin Hanks, 
who portrayed 
a priest on  Mad Men
and a priest-killer 
on  Dexter,



gave his Father
a special gift
this Christmas:

ACTING LESSONS

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
Gus Sipsallie, columnist for the  Institute of Inane Research,
is responsible for this copyrighted page. 
________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sunday, December 24, 2017

We Look At The Trees ...Then Everyone Agrees With Joyce Kilmer

________________________________________________________________________________________________


BUT
If we bleach all color
of an individual tree
—rotating the results—
what you see may be
 disturbing

HOWEVER
I think that only
gives more validation
to the words of
Joyce Kilmer

UNLESS
you prefer to substitute
the word  lovely
with the words
as beautiful 


_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
The second image on this page
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL

Bonus Link:
Listen to Bruce Piephoff sing
I Wanna Be A Tree
_______________________________________________________________________________________________


The PeeCee News About How To Avoid The EssAitch Allegations

________________________________________________________________________________________________


The sheriff
announces
NO MORE HUGS
***

Fist-bumping
okay if consensual

The curtsy is making a return:
buy stock
a.s.a.p.

 
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
Title and caption are the copyrighted
   of the Lewis Carroll School of Logic

Excluding second half of title,
this page was created by
Ms. CarPeo  
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Do Do Do Do [HKu #48]

________________________________________________________________________________________________


You do for me
I'll do for you
BUT do me badly
I'll do you worse

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
 DO DO DO DO
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL

The next GoFather Haiku page is
here
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Friday, December 22, 2017

Murky Mixed Super Stream Of Consciousness Co-Alphabetical

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Alligators allegations
bespoke badly
coigning contemptuous
dastardly daggers
everywhere everyhow

fraudent fakery
got girls
healing holistically
in intense
jibbering jabberwocky
kindly killing
loose legged
mannish men

neither nor
opining opinions
posturing piously
quite quixotically
really rampant
socially sanctioned
tsunami tears
united users

voluminous voltage
wildly waking
x-rated xenophobia
yakety yaking
zero zolerance
***



________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
MURKY MIXED SUPER STREAM
OF CONSCIOUSNESS CO-ALPHABETICAL
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL

The acrostic structure of Mr. Poetverio's verse
is best appreciated  when read aloud

Zero Zolerance is defined as a social mechanism
that is more destructive than constructive.
While giving the appearance of justice,
it provides a podium for pontificators.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


#33's Whorehouse Joke Inspires #45 Who Is The Ultimate Madam

________________________________________________________________________________________________


The 33rd President of the United States
was eminently aware that
the letters of
"White House" and "Whore House"
 are 80% identical.

The brothelized White House
of the 45th President caters only
to the highest bidders.

But sometimes #45
accepts payments from tricks
who grovel with ass-kissery. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
The next GoFather/Trump page
is  here.


BONUS QUATRAIN:
Make the it
into an or
the the white
becomes a whore! 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Wednesday, December 20, 2017

'Tis The Season To Have A New Friend Such As Him + His Guitar

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Everybody's saying
that the lights don't shine

But the lights shine down on me

I've got a new friend and
my new friend's name is Jesus
 
I met him in the parking lot
He took me in his car
***
We rode around all afternoon
He sold me his guitar

***
New Friend Jesus
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Lifeguard's View ... If The Chair Wasn't Empty At That Hour

________________________________________________________________________________________________



Hey Now...
I think the lifeguard
is on his way


.
.
.
Nope!
It was just another
of those early morning joggers


________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
This 6AM photo shoot was inspired
by what a friend did last Saturday
at approximately 7AM.

I was supposed to be with him
at that time but my feet
were acting under protest
against the rest of my body.

If any of you know where
I can pick up a new pair of feet
—fleet and free of pain—
please let me know.

All images on this page
are the copyrighted property
of LCSoL. 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


I'm Not Sure I Understand Her Words But This Quote Is Brilliant

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Happiness?
I've tried the two-legged ones,
and the four-legged ones win.


Birth name =
Betty Joan Persky 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Monday, December 18, 2017

The First Time I Saw New York City, The First Thing I Saw Was

________________________________________________________________________________________________

... My Mother's elbow. 

I was five years old and she was much much taller than five feet. She was holding my hand and used her other hand to point to something.

It was a statue of Atlas.

He was holding up 
the world.

Then she pointed across
the street and said: 
That's St. Patrick's Cathedral.

I had a friend named Patrick.
The Cathedral did not look 
anything like him.

The date was September 30, 1954.

It was the day after the World Series began.

It was the day after I saw something
on television that was described as 

Willie Mays performed
a miracle with his glove.

If Atlas saw what I saw, 
he would have been 
so impressed, he might 
have dropped the world
on his head.

We were in Manhattan because my Father had tickets
for Game 2 of the World Series at the Polo Grounds.

We were meeting him one block away from where we were.

We walked through a Promenade to Rockefeller Center and then walked down one flight of stairs.

Again, My Mother pointed. This time to a place were tables full of people were eating outdoors. This five-year-old's tour guide said: 
The next time we come here, that will be an ice skating rink. And that's Prometheus, across the way. 

It was another statue–a golden statue—of someone stretching inside a ring seemingly mounted on a rock. Prometheus was about ten  times as tall as I was.

We walked through a big glass door and more people were eating at tables but beyond them was a bar and ten patrons were transfixed by a man telling them something. The man behind the bar stopped in mid-story and said:
That's my wife and son. 


He then told them my favorite TV show was American Bandstand
and how I danced across the living room floor whenever it was on but always ended up crying when the show ended.

Do you want to see him dance?
My mother asked the bar patrons.

Of course they did and I was placed on top of the laminated bar and danced a "Boogly Woogly," wiggling my ass in front of a bunch of people drinking alcohol.

The dance is part Lindy and part "shake your money maker."

My favorite words at the time were
"Boogly Woogly" and "Willie Mays." 

From one end of the bar to the other, there were about thirty people. They all cheered me on and put so much money in my father's tip cup that we rode in a limousine to the Polo Grounds.

Willie Mays didn't do anything spectacular in this game but we were sitting four rows behind the New York Giants dugout and I waved to him, certain that he waved back. My Father said he heard Willie say Hello Paul but I think he was lying.

The Giants beat the Cleveland Indians by a score of 3-1. 

Just like the first game of the World Series, DUSTY RHODES hit a home run. 

In the first game, after Willie Mays had made that other-worldly basket catch with his back to home plate, DUSTY RHODES hit a three-run home run in the tenth inning to give the Giants a 5-2 victory.

We rode home in a limousine. I loved saying Boogly Woogly and Willie Mays but I expanded my vocabulary: in the fifty miles to Piscataway, New Jersey, I must have said Dusty Rhodes fifty times.

On the block where we lived in 1954, we had the biggest rooftop TV antennae. It could pick up American Bandstand on WGIL in Philadelphia. This was three years before Bandstand broadcast nationally with Dick Clark as the host.    

In 1954—pre-Dick Clark—the dancing teenagers on television were only broadcast on that local Philadelphia channel.

The only non-locals who could then watch American Bandstand were those within a radius of Philadelphia with a gargantuan rooftop antennae. 

Each of the houses underneath those antennae probably contained a five-year-old kid who could dance as good as I could.

But it is now 2017 and if any of those 5-year-olds are still around, I challenge them to a dance contest.

I wanted the contest not because I needed a senior citizen dance trophy. I had no desire to win anything. I don't have the kind of ego
that must get approval for others for talents that I have.

To pulverize a  Vince Lombardi  quote:
It was not about winning...It was about being there.

Victory pales in comparison to memory.

Maybe some of former 5-year-olds would still have 60-year-old photographs of the antennae that brought American Bandstand into their lives and god knows what dreams would fill their heads after the dream dispensers were wowed by the massive antennae signals.



What was it my Father use to say?
A rooftop TV antennae is just like a crucifix but only different. The crucifix is the reason we go to church every Sunday, because we believe in Jesus. The antenna is the reason we turn on the television every day because we... ah, crap... I always forget the reason why.


  
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
THE FIRST TIME I SAW NEW YORK CITY, THE FIST THING I SAW WAS is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.

People who know virtually nothing about baseball are not be ignorant of the name Willie Mays but the same can not be said about Dusty Rhodes. That might explain why, ten years after being a New York World Series hero, he was earning less money than a drunken 15-year-old punk Catholic school boy. You can read all about it by clicking  here.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


In The Cards Or The Card ... When The U.S.A Became The D.S.A.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

where once was
our country  'tis of thee
is now
our country what's left of thee

once
united, proud, punctual states
now
Dysfunctional States of America

once
all the way with the USA
now
all the way down with the DSA

they say
it aint over
til the fat lady sings

but sometimes the fat lady
has orange hair and is a man child
who spews instead of sings

not a diva
but it rhymes
with "dump"

work hard and jump high
is now
work high and jump hard

our fate reduced
to a trump card
***



________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
The next GoFather/Trump page
—reducing the Prez to a number—

is  HERE 

IN THE CARDS OR THE CARD...
is the copyrighted property
of LCSoL
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 

The Fun/Funk Ratio ... And Another Quote From Scott Fitzgerald

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Catechism ... Cataclysm

The catechism of pleasure
The cataclysm of despair

Strange bedfellows
Or
Natural dance partners


There is no hangover
Without
Over-indulgence

The high price of fun
Is surcharged
With the property tax
Of funk

When the fun/funk ratio 
Approaches zero
All you can do
Is
Quote Scott


If the catechism read: 

Have fun 
But never
Without moderation 

Then caution would not be
Blown to the wind

And the cataclysm
Would be de-clawed
***
***


________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
Scott Fitzgerald's quote
is from

THE FUN/FUNK RATIO...
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL

The next Fitzgerald page is  here   
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Sunday, December 17, 2017

I'd Be An Idiot Not To Quote This Scientific Fact

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The two most common elements
in the universe are
Hydrogen and Stupidity.

To read about Mr. Ellison,
click  here.
________________________________________________________________________________________________