It began as the GODFATHER OF MATH, evolved into the GOODFATHER OF MATH. Now this. Go figure...

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = G. CARLIN...Stain glass, engraved glass, frosted glass
–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES ... Music is the mathematics of the gods=PYTHAGORAS ... Nothing is more fluid than language = R. L. SWIHART
I cannot live without the oxygen of laughter = DAWN POWELL ... !!! ... But laughter cannot survive without the hydrogen of gravitas = PAUL OLIVERIO
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Hypothesizing And Fantasizing About Tina Turner

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Oliverio








If Tina Turner
was shrubbery 
she would still glow

She would still have
a fire down below  
________________________________________________________________________________________________


A Collage Of Cousin Joe

________________________________________________________________________________________________

I may not be Montgomery Clift
But I've been from here to eternity
to find my place in the sun

Life Is A One Way Ticket

His birth name was
Pleasant Joseph
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Tuesday, August 29, 2017

MAD Politics ... From Both Sides Now ... (Comic Relief #1878)

________________________________________________________________________________________________


MAD Magazine

The next MAD Magazine page is
Somewhere else

The next GoFather/Trump page is
here 


The song referenced in the title, 
sung by a beautiful  "cover girl"
is always worth a good listen
especially because
the singer did sleep
in the Lincoln Bedroom
while Bill Clinton slept
      under the same roof.      
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Ode To An Unknown Artist And His Ephemeral Art

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Artist Unknown


Did the artist
call you 
Sandman
or
Sidewinder
or
Mr. Stripey
???

No name
is
out of reach

Such is life
on
the beach

Flags were raised
when
you were born

Sand, art
and
whimsy
are
nothing to scorn   
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Saturday, August 26, 2017

From The SHOE MUSEUM But ... Not For Foot Fetishists Only

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Meret Oppenheim
Mein Kindermadchen
(My Nanny)

To see more Oppenheim
artwork, please click
here 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Shocking Discovery About Edvard Munch's The Scream

________________________________________________________________________________________________

has determined that the original title
of this famous painting 
was:

A Day in the Life of a Married Man
Edvard Munch 
(1893)
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Thursday, August 24, 2017

Please Please Please ... Help Cure My Chapter -2-itis

________________________________________________________________________________________________

I consider myself a great novelist
If only I could get past
the first chapter.

It most recently happened  a week ago

THE IMAGINARY NUMBER,
in an earlier incarnation, is nearly
seventy pages long but presently
it exists only as Chapter 1.

HYDRAULIC UNIVERSITY 
fits the same description.

A very early example
of this disease dates back
to February of 2013:

NUNA AND THE SHOVEL 
was subtitled Chapter 1
but that is as far as it got.

The following February, the same fate 
(minus the subtitle) befell
THE PSYCHIATRIST'S PATIENT.

The question arises:
How can YOU help me
overcome the disease of
Chapter-2-itis?

All you have to do is read
what each of the links provide
then respond—on this page—
to the ones (hopefully all of them)
that you like and want more of.

Even if you have to pretend
to like them, you may also
pretend to hold a gun
to my head to get me
off my lazy ass and
finally complete
the stories or,
at least, write
Chapter 2.    
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Nervously, In The Dream, I Awaken

________________________________________________________________________________________________

  
© Oliverio


Nervously, in the dream
I awaken in front of a wall:

The bricks had not been
glued together

Nervously, in the dream
I just escaped death
by collapsing bricks

Only to learn
each brick was
a solid gold bar

________________________________________________________________________________________________


CarPeo Set Piece #74 ... August 6, 2017 →The Droolsweeper

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Mrs. CarPeo
The man with the broom

He looks disinterested
but his important work happens
after the greatest excitement occurs
for Angel Stadium fans.

That excitement has nothing
to do with what
the Angels baseball team
does on the field.

It happens when
the girls appear on the sidelines
with guns and hot bodies.

The guns shoot t-shirts
into the stands.
The girls also throw baseballs
to the fans.

After the hot bodies leave the field
and after the game ends,
the man with the broom
goes up into the seating sections
and cleans the drool left behind
by all the fans who dreamt
of the  "Strikeforce Girls"
removing their own shirts
(and shorts)
instead of shooting
stupid t-shirts
into the air.


The next
CarPeo Set Piece
is
here 

________________________________________________________________________________________________
  

Either Whie Driving Or Looking In The Mirror

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Harry Nilsson

Driving along you can spot all the problems
on faces so tired of facing each other
Each day they grow farther
and farther away from each other
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Wednesday, August 23, 2017

1960 Song Predicting Donald Trump

________________________________________________________________________________________________

You talk too much
You worry me to death
You talk too much
You even worry my breath


We are not nation building again.
We are killing terrorists.

The next GoFather/Trump page is
here.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Broadening [HKu #43]

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Travel broadens the mind.
Lack of travel broadens
imagination. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
BROADENING  is the copyrighted property
of the  Lewis Carroll School of Logic.

The next GoFather Haiku page is
here.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Un-Titled [HKu #42]

________________________________________________________________________________________________


It is not impossible
to hate loneliness
and love solitude. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
UN-TITLED  is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.

The next GoFather Haiku page is
here.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Monday, August 21, 2017

The Imaginary Number

________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Iiiiiits fakkkk toreee tiiiime.”   

Her words were muffled by a mouthful of chocolate zucchini pancakes. 

All I could say was Dominus Vobiscum. I bowed and the spatula in my hand made an air crucifix: vertical from head to waist then horizontal from shoulder to shoulder.

All Caroline could say was Dominuth Nabithco Crackers.

The patented Chocolate Zucchini Pancake recipe is the reason I rise with the Rooster on Sunday mornings. But it is his mother who gets him—and her—back to sleep. 

We will celebrate his birthday this week. 

Raymond “The Rooster” Samuels will be one hundred days old on Wednesday. His mother will place one hundred imaginary candles in a bowl of pastina.

I rise with the Rooster on Sunday mornings in August.
It was 5:15 AM and the birthday boy and my smarter half will sleep until the other half of the Samuels family returns from White Sulphur Springs.

The kitchen became my temporary kingdom: I sliced and diced a zucchini, a Hershey bar and tofu but the walnuts were minced pre-packaged nuts. 

All of this gets blended into a Duncan Hines Pancake mix.

After her father repeats the name Nina Simone three times, Caroline strolls into the kitchen. My ten year old daughter will not speak until there is food in her mouth.
  
I prefer it that way because ignoring her is the best cure for a hangover. But after she says “Iiiiiits fakkkk toreee tiiiime” she washes the dishes, gets dressed...then we drive sixty-one miles across state lines.

We live in Virginia where the churches do not welcome a Christian man married to a Jewish woman. Especially if the man believes a Bible is less important for his children than Alice In Wonderland.

Even more so when the Jewish woman is half-black.

But St. Charles Catholic Church in White Sulphur Springs does not require me to fill out a questionnaire before sitting in a pew. The church is in West Virginia. It is sixty-one miles from Livingston, VA. Most of those miles are driven in cruise control. The rest of them are descended from Blue Ridge Heaven.
For the entire distance, I am an audience of one but the performer, charismatic Caroline Samuels, speaks without food in her mouth.

Unusual ideas naturally descend from the mouths of babes when the first bedside book read to the babe is The History of Math and Religion. 

But the book was read by the author (Arlisha Rosenblatt Samuels) or the author's husband (me.)


Pythagoras was pre-eminent in dovetailing
Math and Religion when he postulated
the simple Geometric truth:  
The shortest distance between
any two points is a straight line.
His followers visualized the Gods
looking down on earth where all humans
were mere dots, that is, points on a surface.

The straight line symbolized communication
but the cultural result of the Pythagoreans'
existence was extermination. 
Each and everyone of them 
was slaughtered by a mob of plebians.

Five hundred years later,
Jesus Christ used the word
Love instead of Communication
Effectively, he said 
"All you need is love"
and he too was exterminated. 

Nearly two thousand years after that,
John Lennon used music (which is merely
the most beautiful form of applied mathematics)
to convey the same thing. 
He too was exterminated.
*** 

The History of Math and Religion was on the New York Times bestseller list for more than a year. The author and her husband agreed to not have another child but when we celebrated Caroline's ninth birthday in White Sulfur Springs, Raymond was conceived.
 
Be that as it may, the Sunday morning audience of one had his car in cruise control and his ears were wide open. The performer explained what she meant by her pancake flavored phrase: "fakkkk toreee tiiiime."

     
We are going to one of the factories that mass produces spiritual comfort. Many of these factories are Christian, others are built for Buddhists or Jews or Hindus. They are called churches or temples or mosques. The mass quantity of people who visit these factories are all in need of the same thing: spiritual comfort.

Like automobiles and air conditioners, spiritual comfort is a product but it is not produced by an assembly line. It is produced by the aura of the church or the temple. It is delivered instantly to the customers who are better known as the congregation. There is no middleman and  payment is determined by how much you put into a collection plate or basket.
   
There are basically three factory bosses but we never see them. Their foremen–or forewomen–are called pastors or rabbis. They tell us stories about their bosses, whose names are Buddah, Allah, and ..."

"Jesus," says the man in the audience.

"Correct, he is our chosen Boss. Did you know that he had an agent
  named Otto who believed a wardrobe change was necessary."

"Otto? Never heard of him."

"Otto became his agent when Jesus was a teenager, walking around
 with his posse..."

"Don't you mean disciples?"

"Whatever. Jesus famously wore yellow bloomers."

"I thought only girls wore bloomers."

"I'm glad you're still capable of thinking, Daddy."

"Thank you, Caroline." 
    

"Anyway, Otto said to Jesus: Lose the bloomers, Jake 
 Wear this loincloth. History will treat you much better."

"Jake?"

"That was Otto's pet name for Jesus."

"Did Jesus have a pet name for Otto?"

"Yes. He called him Toe. As in,
  Toe, which way do I go?"

"What the hell did that mean?"

"Golgotha might have been a NO-go-tha,
  if it weren't for Otto."

"I know Golgotha is where the crucifixtion
  took place but what did Otto 
  have to do with that?"

"The Crucifixtion nearly took place,
  somewhere south of Jerusalem but
  Otto objected because the image
  of Jesus carrying the crucifix
  would have shown Jesus' weak side."

"Weak side?"

"Yes. The public was better off not seeing
  the side of Jesus' face that had acne.
  Jesus might not have looked like 
  a savior if he had too many zits."

"What are you going to tell me
  next: Pontius Pilate wanted to give
  pimple cream to the executed man?"

"Maybe I will tell you about that
  next week but the church is too close
  to hear to begin that story."

END OF CHAPTER ONE.


________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
THE IMAGINARY NUMBER is the copyrighted property
of the Lewis Carroll School of Logic.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Sunday, August 20, 2017

Photoverio © (#266): The Rose Knows

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Oliverios
The Power of Pink
________________________________________________________________________________________________


CarPeo Set Piece #73 ... August 6, 2017

________________________________________________________________________________________________





© Mrs. CarPeo 
Sunday at Angel Stadium


The next
CarPeo Set Piece
(also from Angel Stadium)
is
here.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Friday, August 18, 2017

CarPeo Set Piece #72 ... En Route To Apartment G

________________________________________________________________________________________________
               

© Mrs. CarPeo
Through the garden slowly

The next
CarPeo Set Piece
is
here 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Thursday, August 17, 2017

I Do Feel The Same Way About Your Post-Humous Novel, Ernest

________________________________________________________________________________________________

"How are you? Are you all right?"

"Very well. I'm reading this book."

"How is it?"

"I can't tell you til day after tomorrow. 

I'm reading it slowly to make it last."

The Garden of Eden

Hemingway died in 1961.
This book was published
in 1986.

The quote is from p.170
of this edition.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Wednesday, August 16, 2017

CarPeo Set Piece #71 ... Thermal Attraction

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Mrs. CarPeo

He was with another Woman,
so I shot both of them
and thermalized the evidence 



The next
CarPeo Set Piece
is
here
________________________________________________________________________________________________


CarPeo Set Piece #70 ... Her Hat + My Leg

________________________________________________________________________________________________

© Mrs. CarPeo

Sunday at the Ballpark

The next
CarPeo Set Piece
is
here
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
Between the two of us, fifty pictures
were taken at Angel Stadium on August 6, 2017.

My two favorite pictures are this one
and that one.

Both images emphasize
our party of three
and de-emphasize
the action on the field.

So be it.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Otherwise Known As ... Just Admit You Did Something Stupid

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The only thing worse than behaving
 irrational and erratic
is believing your behavior 
is rational and perfectly
normal. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________
 Footnotes
The subtitle of this page is
 "THE 80th BULLET" 
and it is the copyrighted property of  LCSoL.

Only the first 45 Bullets are linked together
because we do not want to make life easy
for our favorite thieves.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Sunday, August 13, 2017

Somewhere Under And Somewhere Within

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Mrs. CarPeo
SOMEWHERE UNDER THE RAINBOW
is Paul


© Oliverio
SOMEWHERE INSIDE THE RAINBOW
a guitarist is
frozen in time 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


From An Essay About Scott Fitzgerald

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The best writing
never makes the reader feel
like they’re reading. 

It gives them an experience,
transports them,
black ink on white parchment
acting as teleporter to new realms,
feelings, emotions, truths.

Paging F. Scott Fitzgerald:
Please Rescue Modern Fiction

The next Fitzgerald page
is
here 

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Poorly Quality Reproductions From The MADropolitan Museum

________________________________________________________________________________________________



JARED KUSHNER: THE BIRTH OF TREASON
by  James Warhola
approximating
Sandro Botticelli

GIRL WITH THE REALLY
EXPENSIVE LINE OF EARRINGS
by  Roberto Parada
approximating
Johannes Vermeer


DONALD'S WORLD
by  Mark Fredrickson
approximating
Andrew Wyeth

High quality reproductions
available from
MAD Magazine 
October, 2017

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
The next GoFather/Trump page is
here.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Friday, August 11, 2017

If And When It Happens [HKu #41]

________________________________________________________________________________________________


When money is staring
you in the face,
don't give it
the evil eye.

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
IF AND WHEN IT HAPPENS
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.

The next GoFather Haiku page is
here.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Thursday, August 10, 2017

About That Wallpaper in Woody Allen's Stardust Memories

________________________________________________________________________________________________




This is a scene from
Woody Allen's film
Stardust Memories
(1980)








That is a partial list 
of the cast from
HEAD 

The surrealistic and psychedelic 1968 film about the  Monkees 
was co-written
by Jack Nicholson.

Because HEAD features
actual footage of that 
shocking image from 
VietNam, the names of 
both executioner and 
the executed are listed.


Both HEAD and Stardust Memories, however, qualify as comedies.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Sheep Talk (Comic Relief #1854)

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dave Coverly
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Chair And Share Alike ... [ pST #23]

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Reading the fine print

© Oliverio

This must be Love
A sentiment so nice,
it is written thrice


The next 
Superimposed Text page
is
here


The p in the title
stands for
photoverio
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Miller's Analogy Test Question For The MODERN STUDENT

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Anger is to Intelligence as:

A)  Sunshine is to an ice cube
B)  Sunshine is to an ice sculpture
C)  Sunshine is to ice
D)  Any of the above 

: : : : : : : :

The MODERN STUDENT is defined
as one who is easily offended
by incorrect answers.

The  MAT  is to the SAT
as  Lightning  is to the Lightning Bug.
 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Photoverio © (#265): The Former Gas Mask Said ...

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Oliverio 

We can't go on meeting like this

The next
"We can't go on"
page is
here 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Monday, August 7, 2017

See No Evil (Comic Relief #1850)

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Winsor McKay

To measure the influence
of Mr. McKay on
modern comic art 
is to measure
an interplanetary
distance
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Sunday, August 6, 2017

Take Me Out To The Ballpark

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Play on, sweet Lord
the tune I
once knew as
lullabye

On a field
divine
twixt two 
white lines

The names change
and always the score
has one with less
the other, more
 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Saturday, August 5, 2017

Pigeon English ... Remembering Lost Love Ones [ pST #22]

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Oliverio 
For  those
who have forgotten
the Exxon Valdez 


The next 
Superimposed Text page
is
TBD


The p in the title
stands for
photoverio
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Friday, August 4, 2017

One More From The NEZ ... With Chopsticks And A Backbeat

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Chow mein and bowling
Twinkies and champagne
Moon over McDonald’s
Frozen pizza in the rain
In the rain

Dancing in the dump truck
Dining with the dog
Laughing in the bathtub
With a ducky and a frog

Stake me to an anthill
Shoot me to the moon
Without you I am no one


Like a burger with no bun
I can’t go on

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Thursday, August 3, 2017

From The Seal Beach Pier ... [ pST #21]

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Oliverio
Rod and Reel
and Rodrigos


The next 
Superimposed Text page
is
here 




The p in the title
stands for
photoverio
________________________________________________________________________________________________