The GooF Is Forgiven In Letter Form

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 Despite your self-proclaimed vegetarian sense of humor 
(you repeatedly say "Every day I consume Onion News")

to be continued

 the GooFather of Math neglected
 to acknowledge us in your
 Thousand Page Salute

  We hereby forgive Mr. Oliverio 
 but you better not ask us 
 for a job until you
 have read some more
 Flann O'Brien

 We gave you this quotatious page
 but we'll take your format-
 challenged bullet page.

 PS
 You shouldn't have 
 sold your iPad. 

 PPS
 Contrary to the caption,
 the next Onion News page is  here.
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