A Poem For An Absentee Father

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LOST ORPHAN



Was it something I did?


Was it something I said?


Did you not want a kid?


Is that why you fled?



It is too late now,


It will never be the same.


The time has changed me.


The past is to blame.



Without knowing who you are,


I feel like I don't know myself.


I always wonder about who you could be.


Do you do the same? 

Or is it just me?



Do you ever think
 of how things could be?


I never knew you,


But I hope you know me.



No one is showing me the way.


How am I supposed to know?


There is a saying,


Every action is learned.



I don't know what to do


I don't know which way to go.


I thought parents were the guiding hand,


Put there to help us grow.



Do I try to make it alone


With nothing to fall back on?


Do I keep searching for answers,


For some clue of what I seek?



But it seems, 
that no matter how hard I try,


I never find anything.


I just end up back at the beginning.





I have tried everything I know.


Where do I go from here?


You are supposed to have the answers,


And build me up with cheer.



I don't know what you expect,


Or what you dream,


All I know is that you're my father,


The one I hope that one day I'll see.

© Monica Bain

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