Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Once There Was A Great Man Named Kevin Awe

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Awestruck Enterprises
sold shock absorbers
and the owner of the company
was a well-respected member
of Sea Cliff Condos
in San Diego County

Kevin Awe,
whose nickname
was AWFUL,
was anything but
!!!

A family man
who always had time
for his neighbors,
Kevin Awe organized
the Sea Cliff 4th of July barbecue

He coached his daughter's
soccer team AND
the Sea Cliff Condominium
softball team

Upon his retirement
from the shock absorber business,
Kevin decided to run for
President of the Condo Association

Throughout Sea Cliff Condos,
everybody thought no resident
would have the audacity
to run against Kevin Awe

BUT
two female residents
 —Mary Glass and Lee Ford—
had been grade school classmates
of Mr. Awe


They were life-long friends
of the Awe family
and Ms. Glass
was the Godmather
of Kevin's youngest son

HOWEVER,
on August 1, 2018,
the two women
issued a statement
circulated to the entire
condominium community:

"When we were in the third-grade,
Kevin Awe touched both of us
in a sexually inappropriate manner"

Mary and Lee were able to obtain
declarations from three other
female classmates claiming
the same thing happened to them

None of those other classmates
lived in Sea Cliff
(nor did they live in California)

In his defense,
Kevin Awe said
"I tickled them,
I tickled everybody
in the third grade
because I was
a stupid little boy"

Both Mary Grass and Lee Ford
were retired attorneys
with so much free time in their lives,
they refused to lose their "case"

Kevin Awe withdrew
from the Presidential election

Diana Demonica
—Lee Ford's cousin—
became Condo President
on August 31, 2018

But there was no Labor Day
mountain hike the next week
because its annual organizer,
Kevin Awe was too awestruck
to organize it

Neither will there be
anymore of his trademark
Thanksgiving Turkey gifts
to the Sea Cliff landscaping crew

Nor will there be any more
Awe family Christmas caroling

***

PAUL OLIVERIO
    
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Footnote
ONCE THERE WAS
A GREAT MAN NAMED
KEVIN AWE
is the copyrighted property
of LCSoL 
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