Factoring Beyond 72 Virgins ... Belatedly and Boldly

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Mr. Oliverio

has commissioned me 

to write this page

exactly one week before

I reach that most 

spiritually numerical age

 

There is an abundance

of alternatives to

ONE man having 72 virgins

without sacrificing

any dereliction

in his behavior

 

The man can have a pair 

of 36-year-olds

because (2 x 36 = 72) 

or

He can have

three 24-year-olds

preferably blonde,

busty and hot-to-trot

or

There can be 

four 18-year-olds

all of legal age

and illicit pleasures

or

A six-pack

of 12-year-olds

bordering on puberty

or

Eight nine-year-olds

with

a bouquet of questions

tickling their hearts

 

What if we considered

all of the above

through the looking glass?

 

Nine 8-yr-olds

could field a softball team

or

A dozen 6-yr-olds

could create

a crater of cacophony

 but

Eighteen 4-yr-olds

 could field a softball game

with much comic relief

 

However,

twenty-four 3-yr-olds

would wreak so much havoc

in a pre-school

that it would have no choice

but to convert to

a nunnery

and

thirty-six 2-yr-olds

could form their own

terrorist organization

Penultimately,

I wish a belated 

Happy 72nd Birthday

to Mr. Oliverio

and

a prelated 

Happy 72nd Birthday

to myself

Given the multiple choices

listed here,

there is always one more

—The Existential Option—

 

That choice is

None Of The Above

***

FRANCES STEERLING

 

My next page

is here 

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