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| © Oliverio |
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Wednesday, September 29, 2021
Monday, September 27, 2021
Photoverio #620: Bleached Sea of Cacti
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| © Oliverio |
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Saturday, September 25, 2021
Quoting A Commentista From Two Pages Ago
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Nothing that happens
on planet Earth is incapable
of leading to Romance
of leading to Romance
© *** ©
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The Opposite Of A Push-Up Fire
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| © Photoverio #618.5 © |
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Belated Happy Birthday To Scott Fitzgerald: A Love Story
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They met
exactly seven years ago
today
Nancy Nguyen owned
three nail salons
Clarence Robinson
was a high school
English teacher
They met in an elevator
at a retirement home
He recognized her
from a birthday celebration
the day before
"Belated Birthday Greetings,
young lady,"
he said
"Thank you, sir.
My name is Nancy"
"My name is Clarence.
You have the same birthday
as Scott Fitzgerald"
"That's a funny coincidence."
"Why is it funny?"
"Last night I watched
with Robert Redford
and Vietnamese subtitles"
***
Sorona Beach Gardens
was an "up-scale" retirement home
but not immune to
insect infestation
In the elevator,
both Nancy and Clarence
had something in their hands:
matching cans of RAID
With big smiles,
they held up their cans
and tapped them together,
as if they were beer mugs
Nancy invited Clarence
to her apartment
where they compared
mosquito bites
They became lovers
That was seven years ago
Yesterday,
they were married
in the recreation hall at
Sonora Beach Gardens
The groom was 71 years old
and the bride
was also celebrating
her 68th birthday
Wardrobe requirement
for wedding guests had everyone
dressed up like characters
from The Great Gatsby
The dessert tray
included cookies
shaped like
miniature cans of RAID
created by
the same employee
who had eliminated
all the bug problems
of the retirement home
three years ago
A splendid time
was had by all
***
© PAUL OLIVERIO ©
The next
GoFather/Fitzgerald
page is here
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Friday, September 24, 2021
Photoverio #618: A Detail Of A Dial With Verse
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You can stretch it
for a mile:
this smile
of the sun dial
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| © Oliverio |
Thursday, September 23, 2021
To Make A Quatrain A Sestet... Number Fifty
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To make a sestet about
my pages being
angry or great
It depends on
how much
I pontificate
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Footnotes
TO MAKE A QUATRAIN
A SESTET
is the copyrighted property
of LCSoL
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Wednesday, September 22, 2021
The Many Saints Of Newark
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| Quoting MICHAEL GANDOLFINI |
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Tuesday, September 21, 2021
When Shohei Lost It
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Unless you live under a rock
or hate baseball
but do not read
you would know the name
Shohei Otani
in the year
2021
During the first
three months
of the season,
he did things
on the baseball field
that justifiably
compared to
Babe Ruth
Then,
in mid-July,
he was selected
as a starter
in the All-Star Game
yearly bestowed upon
only eighteen people
on a planet with
a population
of more than
seven billion
You can enlarge the photo
to get a better look
at these superstars
One starting pitcher is missing
from the image
and Otani
is in the lower-left corner
But let's take
a closer look
at Shohei
Not only does he look
younger than
all the other All-Stars
(which he definitely wasn't)
but he looks
like a virgin
!!!
I have never said that
about a professional athlete
of any sport
But
I can truly believe
Shohei Otani arrived
at the All-Star Game
in Denver, Colorado
as a virgin
and all his
repressed sexual energy
—prior to the All-Star Game—
enabled him to
shine like the sun
on a baseball field,
hitting moonshots
out of the ballparks
and striking out
anyone
and everyone
In the All-Star Game,
Shohei Otani pitched
the first inning
but he didn't strike out
anyone nor did he
hit any moonshots
However,
I am convinced
that somewhere
in Colorado,
Shohei Otani
popped his cherry
"The lucky lady"
was probably
one of the most
beautiful Japanese women
on the planet
and she has taken home
Shohei's virginity
Quite conceivably,
her home is in
Las Vegas
or a penthouse
in New York
After the All-Star Game,
there was still
half of the baseball season
to be played
It is now
late September
and it would be merciful
to say that
since the All-Star Game
Shohei Otani's
hitting and pitching
is "sub-par"
To use a technical term,
it downright sucks
The reason:
there is no more
repressed sexual energy
in the man
who deserved to be
mentioned
in the same sentence
as Babe Ruth
But no more
***
© PAUL OLIVERIO ©
Happy Googling
to anyone
who reads this page
If you do not know
who Babe Ruth was,
you should never
have read
this page
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Why The Great American Novel Is Dead
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SIX REASONS
1. Marilyn Suzanne Miller
2. Joel Church-Cooper
3. Amy Sherman/Dan Palladino
4. James Burrows
5. Armando Ianucci
6. Alan Ball
BUT
Someone would
quickly tell me
"All those people you named
are great writers"
I would agree with you
100%
And that is why
the Great American Novel
is dead
The reason
tops the list
is because she wrote
the greatest
man/woman
conversation
in the history of
Saturday Night Live
It featured Richard Dreyfuss
and the vastly under-rated
Laraine Newman
What
Joel Church-Cooper
wrote for
is funny enough
to make Mark Twain
jealous but Brockmire
is not a book
It is a cable TV show
The other names listed
are the creators
—respectively—
of Gilmore Girls,
Cheers, VEEP,
and Six Feet Under
Suffice it to say
that if Scott Fitzgerald
had written
The Great Gatsby
in 2021
—instead of 1927—
publishers would not
have been
the first people
knocking
on his door:
It would be HBO
and they would have
made an earth-shattering
mini-series
They would have given
Fitzgerald
so much money,
his name would
never need to be
on the bookshelves
Instead of people saying
"Have you read Gatsby?"
the question would be
"Have you binge-watched Gatsby?"
***
© PAUL OLIVERIO ©
The next GoFather/Fitzgerald
page is here
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Monday, September 20, 2021
The Fishkill Shadow Man In His Garden
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| "BK" |
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Up Against The Wall With The Purple Heart
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| © Photoverio #617-5 |
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The Duck In The Diner (Comic Relief #4071)
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| GARY LARSON |
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Sunday, September 19, 2021
DJ-Oliverio Spedial Edition: Pre-Covid JONATHON RICHMAN
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| JONATHON RICHMAN |
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LOUIS ARMSTRONG + BILLIE HOLIDAY In The Garden
My Dubious Distinctions #142857
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Put
all members of my family,
all of my friends
and everyone else
in a room
Each and everyone
one of them
has said something
inspiring the response
I can't believe
he said that
Or
I can't believe
she said that
But none
has been more
"inspirational"
and
with greater frequency
than me
***
© PAUL OLIVERIO ©
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Saturday, September 18, 2021
Inspired By Gilmore Girls, Season 4/ Episode 7
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If the road
is soft and sandy
and your wheels
only want to wiggle
Speed up
to your destination
and have
a nice giggle
***
© PAUL OLIVERIO ©
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Photoverio #617: Digitalia Clouds
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And dirty rocks on the shore
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| © Oliverio |
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LISA BYINGTON: The Jackie Robinson Of The Broadcast Booth
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| Congratulations, Lisa |
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Friday, September 17, 2021
The Great Orange Whale Should Learn From Anthony Gonzalez
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Tell anyone
you have cancer
and within a week,
they will be wearing pink
Last year,
a former supporter
of the 45th President
was bold enough
to vote for Donald Trump's
impeachment
also called Trump
"a cancer"
In response to that
—Rather than gush
anger out of his blow hole—
the great orange whale
should heed
the first verse above
Admit to "cancer"
and Trump can extract
tonnage of sympathy
from everyone
in the United States
Including
all the elected Democrats
who most deservedly
despise the man
Being
"a cancer"
would forgive all
of his injurious, threatening
embarrassing and despicable
behavior
as what was
supposed to be
the most powerful man
on the planet
Putin's puppet
—then and only then—
might have a political future
in the USA,
the most powerful country
on the planet
Even if he has to
change his name to
***
© PAUL OLIVERIO ©
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Getting Students To NOT Raise Their Hands (Comic Relief #4063)
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| BILL BRAMHALL |
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Salient SOMERSET and Magnificent MAUGHAM Quotes
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| W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM |
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| Much More To Come |
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About Bill Maher And R.I.P
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On virtually every episode
of Real Time,
Bill Maher will say something
that will get me
very angry at
Bill Maher
BUT
it will not stop me
from watching
the rest of the episode
because
—in a five to one ratio—
the host of Real Time
will say things
that are
Last week, I started watching
What I said about Bill Maher,
equally applies to
Norm Macdonald
Two days ago,
Mrs. CarPeo tells me
"Norm Macdonald is dead."
She did the equivalent
of dropping
a ton of bricks
on my head
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| Rest In Peace, Norm |
When Retirement Is Noble AND Heroic
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| Read All About It |
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Wednesday, September 15, 2021
Photoverio #616: Thanks To A Streetlight ...
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This is a momentary man-made solar eclipse
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| © Oliverio |
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Another Off-Center ANDY BOROWITZ Exclusive
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Better luck next time, Larry
 |
| Read All About It |
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Tuesday, September 14, 2021
DJ-Oliverio Special Edition: SIR PAUL Kowtows To Ground Zero
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| Readably, the complete lyrics are here |
 |
| PAUL McCARTNEY |
with apologies from me
for an overloaded page
that might have
a deleteable
advert
My next Beatles' page
is TBD
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Monday, September 13, 2021
MaGreetings From Starbucks
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but the inspiration
is obvious
 |
| *** |
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Footnote
At the LEWIS CARROLL
SCHOOL OF LOGIC,
Rene Magritte is
the Post-Humous chairman
of the Art Department
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NOVAK DJOKOVIC: I Am The Happiest Man Alive
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Arguably,
the greatest tennis player
in the history
of the sport
"I am the happiest man in the world"
in a concession speech
after first congratulating
Daniil Medvedev
of Russia
who denied
Novak
the taste of victory
in the 2021 US Open
yesterday
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