When Shohei Lost It

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Unless you live under a rock

or hate baseball

but do not read

 Time Magazine,

you would know the name

Shohei Otani

in the year 

2021

 

During the first

three months

of the season,

he did things 

on the baseball field

that justifiably

compared to 

Babe Ruth

 

Then,

in mid-July,

he was selected 

as a starter

 in the All-Star Game

That is an honor

yearly bestowed upon 

only eighteen people

on  a planet with

a population 

of more than

seven billion

 

You can enlarge the photo

to get a better look

at these superstars

 

One starting pitcher is missing

from the image

and Otani

is in the lower-left corner

But let's take

a closer look

at Shohei

Not only does he look 

younger than 

all the other All-Stars

(which he definitely wasn't)

but he looks

like a virgin

!!!

 

I have never said that

about a professional athlete

of any sport

 

 But

I can truly believe 

Shohei Otani arrived

at the All-Star Game

in Denver, Colorado

as a virgin

and all his

repressed sexual energy

—prior to the All-Star Game—

enabled him to

shine like the sun

on a baseball field,

hitting moonshots

out of the ballparks

and striking out

anyone

and everyone

 

In the All-Star Game,

Shohei Otani pitched

the first inning

but he didn't strike out

anyone nor did he

hit any moonshots

 

However,

I am convinced

that somewhere

in Colorado,

Shohei Otani

popped his cherry

 

"The lucky lady"

was probably

one of the most

beautiful Japanese women

on the planet

and she has taken home

Shohei's virginity

 

Quite conceivably,

her home is in

Las Vegas

or a penthouse

in New York

 

After the All-Star Game,

there was still

half of the baseball season

to be played

 

It is now

late September

and it would  be merciful

to say that

since the All-Star Game 

Shohei Otani's 

hitting and pitching

is "sub-par"

 

To use a technical term,

it downright sucks

 

The reason:

there is no more

repressed sexual energy

in the man 

who deserved to be

mentioned 

in the same sentence 

as Babe Ruth

 

But no more

***

 

© PAUL OLIVERIO ©

 

Happy Googling

to anyone

who reads this page

 

If you do not know

who Babe Ruth was,

you should never

have read

this page  

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