Despite Apperances, This Is Not A Beheading

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There appears to be

a bowl of popcorn

above the bouquet.

 

Such finger food

is very popular

at public be-headings.

 

Preliminary 

bloodstains

smear the wall

behind 

Stony the Gnome

 

 

The guillotine blade is within inches

of his placid bearded face.

 

 

But all of the above is illusion

***

The popcorn is actually a bounty

of baby's breath: a standard presence

in bouquets.

 

The blade, in fact, has a conical base

which is partially visible in lower-left

corner of image.

Only half of a very soft,

collapsible blade is visible.

 

Both halves of the blade

are coated with an iridescence

that somehow manages

to keep house flies a safe distance

from whatever surface the device

is placed upon.

(Your patio table, for example.)

 

It is battery-operated

and works remarkably well.

 

The fan makes picnic potato salad

taste like real potato salad

as opposed to tasting like

a landing platform

for house flies

and their microscopic

fecal droppings.

 

Before we bought the fan, it was impossible 

to enjoy outdoor Summer meals

because flies and other insect hazards 

were omni-present in our backyard.

Actually, we have two bug fans

because I like the stereo effect

of their horizontal windmilling.

Despite appearances, this is not an advert

for  "bug fans" but I would be lying

if I told you the product

is NOT available

at Rite-Aid. 

***

 

© PAUL OLIVERIO ©

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