Thursday, May 31, 2018

Photoverio #307: The Ironworks

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© Oliverio
Alloyed Intimacy
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Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Photoverio #306: Vertically Under Wraps

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© Oliverio
East Ocean Bull
90802 
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Mr. Green Said: I Cussed Him, He Cussed Me ... And That's Great

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Kevin Durant and Draymond Green
Mr. Durant coigned a term
to describe such encounters
with his teammate
but this being
a family-friendly page,
we will describe
his term as
We motherpluckered each other 

For the fourth consecutive year,
their team
—The Golden State Warriors—
will meet
The Cleveland Cavaliers
for the NBA Championship
and
the Cavaliers feature
a mega-motherplucker
named
Lebron James   
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Donate Dollars For DALI ... If You're A Down-Under Victorian

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The National Gallery of Victoria 
is calling on all Victorians
to help support the acquisition
of Australia’s first and only
painting by Salvador DalĂ­.

The title of the painting is
Trilogy of the Desert: Mirage


© Art Daily
5/29/18
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Monday, May 28, 2018

There's Something Seriously To Be Learned From Mr. Kaepernick

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The problem with getting down
on one knee
is
There is not enough of it

For example,
IF
some of the gazillion people
who fill their days
by taking selfies
protested the urge
to do so
by getting down
on one knee,
THEN
ego and vanity
wouldn't have to work so hard
AND
senseless self-centeredness
could be locked up
in the attic
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Sunday, May 27, 2018

Spelling Grade = F But His Grade For Predicting the Future = A+

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In the 21st Century,
used biochemical warfare
to kill 1,500 Syrians
BUT
the results were witnessed by
Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer
in 1894
Mark Twain
Tom Sawyer, Abroad 
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Saturday, May 26, 2018

Six Quotes From Three Sources With One RIP

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1.
America's oldest communal passion,
its most subversive pleasure:
the ecstasy of sanctimony

2.
All that we don't know
is astonishing.
Even more astonishing
is what passes for knowing

Philip Roth
born: 3/19/33
died: 5/22/18
3.
The danger with hatred is,
once you start in on it,
you get one hundred times
more than 
you bargained for

4.
The secret of nobody's knowing
what was going on in your head,
thinking whatever
you wanted to think
with nobody's knowing—
that's where the power
and the pleasure
are to be found

5.
A poet and a novelist
have as much in common
as a jockey
and a diesel driver

6.
Mammary Envy:
a churning longing to be
utterly and blessedly hopeless,
to be a big breathless bag of tissue,
acted upon instead of acting,
hanging there, as a breast hangs
and is there 


________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
The first four quotes are from THE HUMAN STAIN

The fifth quote is from MY LIFE AS A MAN

The sixth quote is from  THE BREAST

To refer to Philip Roth  as an iconic American  Novelist
is like referring to the sun as a big yellow ball. 

Rest in peace, Mr. Roth
and give my everlasting love
to all the usual suspects.
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Friday, May 25, 2018

I Probably Would Have Been Jealous Of This Guy

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The photographer
featured below
was unknown to me
until my better half read
her alumni newsletter
from Pratt Institute,
yesterday
 
was a classmate
of Mrs. CarPeo
 
She remembers him
as a "teddy bear"
who may or may not
have been hitting on her
 
Be that as it moo,
these are four of nine
Diamond photographs
that have been purchased by




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Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Rebranding The Acronym POTUS In The Trumposphere

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For two-hundred twenty-seven years,
and forty-four Presidents 
—from George Washington through Barack Obama—
the acronym POTUS meant
President Of The United States

But then Donald Trump
was elected President
and this word describes
too much of what he
says and does:

!!!

Today,
POTUS means
President Obfuscating The United States

The next
GoFather/Trump
page is
here 

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Tuesday, May 22, 2018

STREET ART UTOPIA (#36): Four By Sam3

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a/k/a
Silhouette Sammy

To see more art by SAM3
(or Silhouette Sammy)
click
here





























SAM3
is a 
wonderfully
whimsied
student
of
Aaron Douglas








The next
STREET ART UTOPIA
page is
there 
 
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Newly Discovered Lyrics From Frances Steerling

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SOMEONE ELSE WILL

Shake it if you make it
Fake it if you don't
Cuz someone else will
if you won't

Take it if you can
Fake it if you can't
Cuz someone else will
pick up the chant

Show it if you're good
Fake it if you're bad
Cuz someone else will
be good or sad
***
***
FRANCES STEERLING
(1965)

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
SOMEONE ELSE WILL
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL
and Frances Steerling

Mr. Steerling's next page is
here 
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A Threatening Michael Cohen Email From 2013

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The Onion
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Monday, May 21, 2018

Not All Autobiographies Are Created Equal

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Asking William Saroyan
to write an autobiography
is like asking Salvador Dali
to paint a bowl of cereal.


William Saroyan
Here Comes, There Goes, You Know Who
An Autobiography 

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
Another quote from this book:
"Does it matter if the river flowing to the sea
doesn't understand the fish in it?"

The next Saroyan page is
here

The next Steerling page is
there
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Saturday, May 19, 2018

The 101st Bullet: The Helpful Risk

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The biggest risk
in helping people
is leading them to believe
they can rely on anyone
but themselves

________________________________________________________________________________________________
 Footnotes
THE 101st BULLET 
is the copyrighted property of  LCSoL.
 
Only the first 45 Bullets are linked together
because we do not want to make life easy
for our favorite thieves.
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Question + Answer ... About At Least 69% of Everything We Say

________________________________________________________________________________________________

QUESTION
Was it  Dostoevsky 
who said
The Lie is the Truth's best friend
because without the Lie,
the Truth would have no place to hide


ANSWER
No

***

But the source is identified
on the very first page of
the GodFather of Math Trilogy

The source is  just another
uncomfortably retired

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
The number in the title coincides with
the birthday I celebrated yesterday. 
 
In the fourth chapter of his autobiography,
William  Saroyan wrote:
Love of Truth
has made a liar out of me

The next
GoFather/Saroyan
page is
here  
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When Asked If He Enjoyed Being A Target ... The Donald Said ...

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If I ever stopped being a target,
I would be a very unhappy camper

≈ DONALD TRUMP ≈

Season 3 ... Episode 5
At approximately the 1:50 mark
of this episode, Donald Trump
approximately says
those exact words

The next
GoFather/Trump
page is
 here  
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Once Again, ONION NEWS Reports On The Big Boss Man

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This essay continues
here 
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Were I On Speaking Terms w/ My Feet ... I'd Still Say This Prayer

________________________________________________________________________________________________


R. I. P.
born: 3/2/31
died: 5/14/18
Almighty God,
As we sail with pure aerobic grace
and striped orthotic feet
past the blind portals
 of our fellow citizens,
past their chuck roast lives,
their implacable inertia
...
To achieve the White Moment
of slipping through the Wall
...
Lord, we beseech thee,
as we sail past this  
cold-lard desolation,
to be big about it.

The Jogger's Prayer 
(1978)   
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It May Be A Punishment But Consider The Alternative

________________________________________________________________________________________________


This article
is from a British tabloid
but Koku is from Russia
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Photoverio #305.5: Vertically Vined And Bleached

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© Oliverio
Palm Tree on 1st Street
(90802) 

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Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Photoverio #305: Perpendicular Palm

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© Oliverio
Palmistree Entwined

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Lois Lane Has Been Reunited With Superman

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Rest in Peace,

Born: October 17, 1948
Died: May 13, 2018
________________________________________________________________________________________________


The Sugar Bowl And Tony's Uke

________________________________________________________________________________________________
    
1.
I had the uke
in my mouth
and ran through
the parking lots:
Tony's and B'hack

I was anxious
to get to the Bowl:
Linda was already there


2. 
We went to confession together
yesterday at St. Anthony's.

Mother drove us there
at exactly 4PM
and made certain,
by sitting in the last pew 
of the church,
that we actually stepped
inside the confessionals
and spent the requisite time
confessing our sins.

I could easily get
my older sister to think
just like me:
Mother (and sometimes  Father)
knew all of our sins, even before 
we commit them.

Of course, we did not actually
believe this to be fact 
but imagination is truth's
dance partner.

We imagined Mother would consult 
with Father Eugene in the rectory
—delivering him a Saturday Night
home-baked creme pie—
with a checklist.

Father, did Paul confess to all of the following...

Father, did Linda  confess to all of the following...

She would deliver
the creme pie 
sometimes as late
as 10:30 but the rectory
always opened
its doors wide for
the most beautiful 
woman in Rocky Point,
despite the fact 
that she virtually never
attended Mass.

But she was always present
in the church on Saturdays,
supervising her penitent
son and daughter.

The vote to determine
the most beautiful woman
in Rocky Point was decided by
exactly two people:
Paul and Linda. 

There would have been 
a third vote but Father 
refrained because he opposed
belaboring the obvious.

And he was not made of mud 
but he sure could 
sling the slang.

He called St. Anthony's church
Tony's place where the Eucharist
was the uke.

B'hack was his name
for Bohack's Supermarket ARS
(And Record Store)

The Pasquale Pasta family,
our next-door neighbors
were delighted by the nickname
Ronzoni because they were all born
in Italy and learned a lot of English
by reading adverts for Ronzoni's
enriched spaghetti.

The Sugar Bowl Soda Parlor,
which is where most of the action
in this story takes place,
was crowned The Bowl
by my mother.

Everyone in Rocky Point
called it that but she said it first.

Only the summer residents
used my Father's slang names
for places, things, and people.




3.
The year-round residents
of Rocky Point, for the most part,
shunned the summer people.

They regarded us as rich city folk
who could afford a second home.
 
It was commonly said 
that our parents looked like
brother and sister which may explain
why my sister and her brother
were closer than
the spots on the dice.

But any hanky-panky between us
ended at Linda's eighth birthday party
—July 9, 1954—
when a boy kissed her behind a tree
and she socked him in the nose,
drawing blood and breaking
his glasses.

(Nine years later, they deflowered each other.
Something she had secretly yearned for
since the first kiss after his family
moved out of Rocky Point.)

She had no shortage
of kissing buddies during
those nine years.

Billy Nevin was the only one
to get beyond first base
but never hit a home run
with my sister.

Or so I want to believe.


3.
Anyway, I was saying
at the beginning of this story
that my sister didn't receive
Holy Communion that day
—August  17, 1962—
despite having gone to confession
the day before.

I had seen her the night before
rolled up in a beach blanket
with Billy Nevin, whose father 
had just taken us
to our first Yankee game.

Yogi Berra and Mickey Mantle both hit
grand slams while Whitey Ford shut out
the Baltimore Orioles.
The final score was 15-0.

Yeah, I was with Billy
on the beach and it was a full moon.
Of course, I let him touch my titties.

After receiving the Communion wafer,
I walked straight out of the door
of St. Anthony's, ran across the parking lot.

Then I ran across Bohack Supermarket's
parking lot and then
I was in the Sugar Bowl.

But I had covered my face
when I ran by the front
of the supermarket
because of the main reason
I had to go to confession
yesterday.

Father forgive me...
I shoplifted at Bohack's
on Tuesday
 
Father Eugene asked for specifics: 

I stole a 45RPM
It fit so easily inside my shirt.
Which song?

STAY by Maurice Williams and the Zodiacs.
That's a great song, Pa...
He almost said my name which is a no-no
because the confession is supposed
to be totally anonymous.

That's why there was no lighting
in the confessional booth. 

No lighting when the priest
slides open that thing in front
of the screen where you can barely
make out his silhouette
and vice versa.

(But, of course,
the confessor always knew
which priest was there.) 

It was time 
for Father Eugene
to give me my penance:

That's a great song...
STAY is an essential...
like Elvis' Hound Dog...
but that doesn't justify stealing it. 
Say three our Fathers and six Hail Marys...

Not a bad price to pay
for a great piece of music.


4.
I arrive at the Sugar Bowl
but the group we loved the most
—Dion and the Belmonts—
had disbanded and Mr.
or Mrs. Sugar Bowl
removed all their songs
from their fabled jukebox.

The day before, however, 
Dion's Run Around Sue  
had just been added
to the "Sugar Box."
 
Father Eugene had administered 
the Eucharist and probably
because he liked Maurice Williams
so much, he gave me
a supersized communion wafer.

It was still stuck
to the roof of my tongue
when I sat down

Linda is at the front table with Billy,
his cousin Marie and Nicky Lomangino
who was the only one of our friends
who had more records than I did.
All 45s as in 45 RPM's.
Those thin slices of circular vinyl.
commonly referred to as "singles."

He had maybe three hundred
and I had almost two hundred
but I also had a bunch of albums
mostly thanks to my mother
who was a big time
Miles Davis fan.
At the age of eleven,
I liked to think of myself
as sophisticated enough
to appreciate jazz.
But, in truth, I had
as much sophistication
as poison ivy.

No sophisticated Catholic
would ever walk out
of church with the Eucharist
clinging to his/her palate. 


5.
Billy, Marie and Nicky had all been
to the 9 o'clock mass and were sitting
in the Sugar Bowl for over an hour.

Their breakfasts consisted
of three egg nogs.

TO BE CONTINUED ________________________________________________________________________________________________


Monday, May 14, 2018

Then And Now

________________________________________________________________________________________________


If tailfins were wings
a 1957 Plymouth Belvedere
would get you into the sky


And a 1959 Cadillac
would have been
a jumbo jet
 

Those car existed in an era
when all American cars
had features that gave them
personality
—Consider the Mustang,
the Thunderbird
and the Dodge Charger—
and 
Honda was only a word
that rhymed with
Henry Fonda

 BUT
personality
could make those cars
dangerous or
—worse yet—
"gas guzzlers" 

AND THEN
along came an era
when American cars
were all "streamlined"
to improve gas mileage

Personality features
of American cars
were replaced with
smooth curves
to make
"aerodynamically sound"

BUT
that is just a fancy way
to say these cars were
lobotomized

In 2018
IRONY WEARS
HIGH HEEL SNEAKERS
because most families own SUV's
which are twice the size
of the legendary gas guzzlers.

The average gas mileage of
these behemoth station wagons
is approximately thirteen miles
to the gallon
which is no better than
the 1959 Cadillac
or
the 1957 Belvedere.

But is much worse in appearance:
Looking as if
the big fat class bully
swallowed the prettiest girl
in the school.
 


________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
THEN AND NOW
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.

The cartoon is from  Harry Bliss.

The car images are from  Jay Pegg.

An earlier version of this page
—which I ultimately thought
to be embarassingly bad
is  here 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Zack To Zack ... And 38,000 Happy Campers In The Ballpark

________________________________________________________________________________________________

There is no more satisfying ending
to a team sporting event
than to have the home team
win on the last play
of the game

Basketball calls it
a buzzer-beater

Baseball calls it
a walk-off win 

Los Angeles Angels 2
Minnesota Twins  1
Yesterday was the first time 
in the history of
Major League Baseball
that a walk-off game
involved
a hero and a goat
both named Zack 

It happened when
Zack Cozart
got the winning hit
in the bottom of the ninth
on a pitch thrown by
Zack Duke

Mr. Duke walked off the field with his head hung down.
His fielding teammates, did the same, as if on a death march.

But Mr. Cozart's teammates 
ran onto the field 
to smother him
with love and affection
and Gatorade

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
Zack Cozart has played for the Los Angeles Angels
for less than two months and he already has two walk-off hits.

He had played for the Cincinnati Reds for seven seasons,
during which time he had zero walk-off hits.

In the his two months as an Angel, he already has
two more walk-off hits than Mike Trout has had
in the past two seasons.

Yet, Mike Trout is considered to be
the greatest baseball player in the game.
Go figure.

Mr. and Mrs. CarPeo were lucky enough
to be amongst the "38,000 Happy Campers"
at Anaheim Stadium on this day.
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