If You Have A Serious Case Of ... UNSANJI

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I learned about "Unsangi"

from a Nigerian friend.

He said it described a behavior

that "brings out the best in people."

Duro (short for Durojaiye) 

told me that when I was on crutches

—after tearing my achilles in 1999—

I was an example of Unsangi.

***

People went out of their way

to hold doors open for me

and let me get to the head

of long lines at restaurants.

The owner of the local tobacco shop

walked out to my car

to deliver cigarets to me

in the parking lot.

Women were much more willing

to talk to me and—I can this because

it was thirteen years before meeting

Mrs. CarPeo—get intimate with me.

***

But I was only on crutches for six months

after which my social invisibility

returned, full blast.

"Not all Unsangi is reversible,"

Duro said, "and some people

are addicted to it, dangerously so."

"But Duro," I said, "if a person's behavior

brings out the best in other people,

where is the danger?"

He hesitated a moment
and furled his eyebrows.
 

"Americans worship the idea

of 'slim and trim.'"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing really, except it can bring out the worst

in other people...mostly out of jealousy.
On the other hand,

Circumfro is the opposite

of slim and trim. It creates Unsanji

because everyone will help

those with damnably large diameter."

"And the bigger the diameter,

the more pressure on the heart

and the greater invitation

to Death...Now I see where the danger is."

"Paul, when the Circumfro has everyone

helping him or her, the Circumfro

regards losing weight as the loss

of stature."

"And the loss of inspiring people

to be on their best behavior."

"The loss of people truly

and automatically helping

someone who is otherwise

a complete stranger to them.

Clinga nobo ra ra dom vliga vle."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It is a Swahili phrase that means

'Terminal obesity kills the good spirit.'"

"Thank you for the vocabulary lesson,

Duro. Artioats, my friend."

"Artioats?"

"It's a slang twist on Adios.

It means 'Goodbye, my friend.'"

"Thanks for the vocabulary lesson, Paul."

"I owed you one." 

     

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Footnote

IF YOU HAVE A SERIOUS CASE

OF ... UNSANJI

is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.

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