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When a wealthy patron
is served by a bartender
who is both
extraordinarily handsome
and is more of an alchemist
than a server of alcohol,
interesting things happen
regarding rewards
On May 18, 1956,
the alchemist
invited the patron
to a birthday party
for his freshly minted
seven-year-old son
The patron naturally declined
the invite but excused himself
without saying that
he was going on a prowl
of the gift shops
in Rockefeller Center
The man returned
an hour later
and handed "Sam"
two box seat tickets
for Sunday's baseball game
at Yankee Stadium
+
an oblong gift-wrapped box
"Sam" profusely thanked
the gentleman and
—three hours later—
the box was opened by
the birthday boy
with great anticipation
only to have
his ten-year-old sister
whisper in his ear:
I love Mickey Mantle
and if you don't want his uniform,
I'll have Grandpa Joe
re-size it to fit me
!!!
Grandpa Joe was a custom tailor
on Park Avenue
and his clients
included the Everly Brothers
Six years hence,
they would perform
at Linda Oliverio's
Sweet Sixteen Birthday Party
My gift to my sister
on that day was
an autographed copy
of Chuck Berry's
Sweet Little Sixteen
However,
Mr. Berry's signature
was forged by me
That was my second forgery
It first happened
at Yankee Stadium
in 1956
while wearing
the perfectly-fitted
miniature
Mickey Mantle uniform
I was raised to be
a good Catholic boy
who sincerely believed
that skipping Mass
was not a sin
if your Super-Hero
was appearing on Soul Train
with Don Cornelius
That Super-Hero
was WILLIE MAYS
and I also devoutly believed
that if you loved one
of the Holy Trinity
named on the previous page,
it was no sin to hate
the other two "imposters"
***
My tribute to
"The Say Hey Kid"
ends here
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