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I celebrated my birthday, May 18,
on Catalina Island but three full
days transpired with absolutely
zero GoFather pages
being posted.
The reasons for that are many
but the main one had to do with
a Philip Roth novel.
Correction:
the Philip Roth novel:
When I first read it in 1969,
I probably read only the odd-
numbered pages.
I re-read it twenty years later,
skipping every fifth page.
***
After watching a PBS Documentary,
Philip Roth Unbound last month,
the allegedly mature Son of Sam
had to read the novel again.
Third time was a charm-and-a-half.
I was absorbed in every word
of every page and knew
I was reading a classic
Such extraordinarily brilliant writing
frightened me because I thought
I might die from laughing so hard.
But sometimes,
profundity trumped humor.
are not recommended for children
or the easily offended
or anyone allergic
to controversy.
there was no way I could write anything
interesting on these pages
except something like
The Institute of Inane Research determined
that, in the afterlife, Sigmund Freud's
most gratifying and satisfying novel is
PORTNOY's COMPLAINT.
After reading the book, Oedipus exclaimed
"Been there, done that!"
Here is a sample of what Alex Portnoy's Father
once said to his 14-year-old son:
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I was reminded of a poem
written by the son of Sam Oliverio.
Three years ago, I recited the poem
to an appreciative standing-room-only
crowd at a local coffeehouse.
When the crucified Jew arose from the dead
These are the first words He said:
"I want a religion named after me.
All my followers must be
capable of loving thy neighbor
and what's more
All my followers must be aware–it's true
—that everyone one of them is part Jew.
If they forget either of those things,
I will take to dismembering
and not deem those people
worth remembering."
On that day,
Those were the last words
Jesus ever needed to say. |
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FOOTNOTES
When The Crucified Jew Arose From The Dead
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.
The poem was based on an idea I had
while attending mass with my father.
The Son of Sam was barely
a teenager at that time.
Both Alex Trebek
and Alex Portnoy's creator
will receive invitations to the wedding
of Carol Robson and Paul Oliverio.
The invitation will include
a self-addressed return money envelope.
A recent Philip Roth novel, Indignation,
is being made into a feature film.
The main character is an alter ego
of Alexander Portnoy.
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