It began as the GODFATHER OF MATH, evolved into the GOODFATHER OF MATH. Now this. Go figure...


______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = G. CARLIN...Stain glass, engraved glass, frosted glass
–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES ... Music is the mathematics of the gods=PYTHAGORAS ... Nothing is more fluid than language = R. L. SWIHART
I cannot live without the oxygen of laughter = DAWN POWELL ... But laughter cannot survive without the hydrogen of gravitas = PAUL OLIVERIO
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Photoverio #298: Roundabout Signage

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Oliverio
Truncata in Blue
with
Scalloped Trapezoids 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Sunday, April 22, 2018

At Precisely 5:05pm, Friday, April 20, 2018 ...

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The bicycle seen here
—on the Catalina Ferry—
WAS STOLEN
from
600 E. Broadway
(90802)

At approximately 5:00,
I doubly secured my bicycle
to this rack
OF COURSE,
THERE ARE VIDEO CAMERAS
AROUND THE ENTRYWAY

The sign
on the wall
reads:
There were more than
a dozen people
loitering
when I arrived
at Von's
but neither
was anyone prosecuted
nor was there
a security guard
visible
on the entryway

To describe
the dozen people
as homeless
would be
approximately
100% accurate
 
But when I returned
to the scene of the crime,
there were zero people loitering
and a security guard
was quite visible

Three of these photographs
were taken
early the next evening,
after I had reported
the theft to
the Long Beach Police

The photos was taken
moments before
I reported the theft
to VONS

Not only
was I given zero information
about the Security Agency
that patrols their premises
but the VONS supervisor
told me
the company policy:

   
________________________________________________________________________________________________


A Starbucks Moment From ... The Neither/Nor Journal

________________________________________________________________________________________________


You tell a clever joke while getting a  refill. 
The girl behind the counter laughs 
and then doesn't charge you anything. 
That is a nice moment 
and you are grateful.
 
The next day, you try the same joke
on another Starbucks employee
but she charges you 50¢
for the refill because 
"that is company policy." 

She even points out a sign
on the wall to that effect. 
You pay the 50¢
wordlessly
but seethe within your skin

Then you realize that
this girl is just doing her job. 

Though you may not like her for that,
there is suddenly respect 
where had been
pleasantry.

Respect being a concept
so much nicer than Nice.

***

PAUL OLIVERIO
1999

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
A STARBUCKS MOMENT FROM...
THE NEITHER/NOR JOURNAL
is the copyrighted property of LCSOL

It was also copyrighted nineteen years ago 
 
THE NEITHER/NOR JOURNAL,
published in 1999, was subtitled 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Olysseus ... The First Chopter ... Sic, Sic, Sic

________________________________________________________________________________________________

the groboliks were grobulating
and the freezone
knew their names
JJ jumped twice

and then skipped a line
the fellatarts fell flat
so we added extra syrup

and then skipped a line
while the windows
were windoful
with whatever
W's we wielded

and then skipped...

where were we
when wisconsin
whipped washington
in the wose bowl

hungover from
new year's eve 

Kilroy was here
there and everywhere
including that rooftop
off Franny Loo 
en roo to 
Bishop Rye

first pitch
swing and miss
but the swing is pure polymer
perfectly safe for all ages
zero through six

and the frame will
never rust

no splinters
from wooden seats
no rope burns
with plastic hand chucks

safety is our middle name
our last name is
whatfitz

and who's on first

the second he saw her
he knew she had the time
but he forgot the rhyme
the crime
the slime
the mime made for disaster

the next second
he was lewd
rude
a dumb dude
thoughts nude
for an interlude

all she said was
to be continued
 

©©© PAUL OLIVERIO ©©©
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Friday, April 20, 2018

** I Honestly Do Not Know The Writer He Was Referring To **

________________________________________________________________________________________________


So much genius, so little talent


________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
The cleverly asterisked title refers to my never
having read the author Eliot praised and panned
within  the same sentence
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Thursday, April 19, 2018

A More Important Influence Than Elvis On A Pliverloop Boy

________________________________________________________________________________________________

PLIVERLOOP, MISSISSIPPI
APRIL 11, 1955

A telephone Conversation

************************* 
************************* 


"Hello, is this Johnnie Lee's Aunt MooMoo?"

"Yes, it is. But please call me Miss Staleny."

"I apologize for addressing by the name
your nephew gave me Miss Staleny,
but I am Mrs. Yerblu, Johnnie Lee's
teacher at Menlow Junior High School."

"I know who you are, Mrs. Yerblu.
Johnnie Lee's mother told me about you.
What did Jonnnie Lee do this time?"

"In the middle of a math lesson,
he jumped up on a desk and shouted
I'M ON THIS LONESOME DESERT
I'VE GOT CACTUS ON BOTH SIDES
I'M LONELY
I WANNA DIE."

"No, I don't. I just think
he likes to shock people
but in the middle of a math class—
that is not a good time
to do so."

"As his semi-official guardian,
I have become shock-proof
to his behavior but I humbly apologize
to his math teacher."

"No apology is necessary, Mrs. Staleny
because I too have developed 
a shock-proof response to Johnnie Lee
but it was his response to me 
that has me curious."

"And your curiosity
now has me curious."

"Well, when I said
Johnnie Lee, get off that desk
and shut your mouth.
He said, I am NOT Johnnie Lee!
My name is O.B. Jessie? 
Do you know who 'O.B. Jessie' is?"

"Yes, I do, thanks to Johnnie Lee's father."

"Your sister, Julia, told me 
Johnnie Lee's father moved
to California after her son
was born."

"Yes, he did, Ms. Yerblu,
but he occasionally sends gifts
to the child he abandoned."

"That sounds very thoughtful
for an absent Dad to do."

"Yes, it is.
Most of his recent gifts
are music: 45 RPMS–singles–
of very obscure origin."

"Sounds mysterious."
  
"In February of last year..."

"That would be 1954."

"You must be an excellent
Math teacher, Mrs. Yerblu.
Well, this particular 45RPM
was by Obie Jessie and it
contained a note written
by Arthur Lee–Johnnie's Dad—
This is fresh off the press."

"What did he mean by that?" 

"That the song
had just been released
and Johnnie Lee
has always been
fascinated by rats."

"Really."

"Yes, really.
But the other side
of the single
was Young Jessie
singing about 
being lonely
in the desert."

"Well, thank you, Miss Staleny
for the enlightenment about O. B. Jessie.
I have to go and I certainly have taken up
enough of your time. Goodbye."

"Your welcome, Miss Yerblu.
Thank you for the phone call."

*************************
*************************

PLIVERLOOP, MISSISSIPPI
MAY 18, 1955

Another telephone Conversation

"Hello, Miss Staleny, this is Mrs. Yerblu.
We talked last month."

"Yes, I remember the wonderful
conversation we had."

"I have to share a funny story with you."

"I'm all ears."

"My sister-in-law manages the cafeteria
at the Apley Elementary school and
a boy named Paul Max duplicated 
what Johnnie Lee did."

"You mean jump on a desk
and sing?"

"Close. It was a table in the cafeteria
but he sang the exact same lyrics
as Johnnie Lee. When she called his name
and told him to stop, his response was
almost exactly what Johnnie said."

"Almost?"

"The only difference is Paul said
his 'name' didn't have initials."


"I don't follow."

"He said, My name is NOT Paul Max.
It is Obie Jessie, my first name
is spellt O-b-i-e. But there is more."

"My ears are getting very anxious."

"My sister-in-law is married to
my husband's brother: she is also
Mrs. Yerblu. Paul promised her something."

"What was that?"

"He said When we get rich and famous,
we are going to write a song about you
and your sister-in-law. We are going to
call it YerBlues."

"I'll believe that when it happens."

"That's exactly what she said to Paul."

"Just for the record, Mrs. Yerblu,
Paul is the only visiting friend
of Johnnie's who doesn't inspire me
to count the silverware
after he leaves this house."

"That's always good to know."

"He's been here at least five times
in the past month and it was him—
not Johnnie—who told me that
the first two lines of their
table-top song were written
by Mr. Jessie."

"Thank you for sharing
that information, Miss Staleny."

"You are very welcome, Ms. YerBlu."

"Now it's time to say goodnight." 

*************************
*************************

LONDON, ENGLAND
AUGUST, 1968

The real life counterparts of the two boys
in this story did exactly what Paul Max
promised: they recorded YER BLUES
at Abbey Road Studio.

Ringo Starr referred to the song
as Grunge Blues but it may 
have sounded completely different
if it had not been for Obie Jessie's
LONESOME DESERT.

*************************
*************************


*************************
*************************

Please note: In 1954, Mr. Jessie
recorded under the name
YOUNG JESSIE

Acoustically, the two songs
have little in common
except for the refrain. 

Thematically, both songs
are about extreme loneliness
and death.

 
The page title does not mean to diminish
the influence of Elvis Presley
on the Beatles but in addition
to the four lads from Liverpool,
more than five million
rock and rollers were 
influenced by Elvis.

However, John and Paul 
and George and Ringo
were rarities:
they were privileged enough
to also be directly influenced by
Obie "Young" Jessie.

Happy Googling to anyone
who has read this page.    


________________________________________________________________________________________________
FOOTNOTES
To hear Lonesome Desert and Yer Blues,
go to  this page.

I would like to say that this page was inspired
by the question What if the Beatles grew up in Mississippi
but that is not the case: listening to an album
by Young Jessie was the inspiration.

The hyperlinked page names two other songs
featuring Young Jessie that were covered by
the Beatles: both of those were Lieber-Stoller
compositions but Obediah Donnell Jessie
wrote Lonesome Desert

My next Beatles page is TBD
but the one most similar
to this page (i.e., pure dialog)
is   here 
________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

A Timeless Quotation From ... The Books of Bokonon

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The hand that stocks the drug stores
rules the world
***

KURT VONNEGUT
(1963)

Once upon a time,
there was a generation
called the Sixties.
They were required
 to read  the biting satire
of
Kurt Vonnegut

Once upon another time,
there was a generation 
called the Millennials.
They were required
to know all the winners
of
American Idol.

So be it 

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
The caption is the copyrighted property
of the Lewis Carroll School of Logic
________________________________________________________________________________________________