Better Than Wish You Happy New Year, We Wish You...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

SAFE AND HEALTHY

NEW YEAR

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Photoverio #519: A Rose By Any Other Name ...

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Would smell as sweet

So I will call this rose ELEANOR

© Oliverio

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The Danger Of Mental Equilibrium

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Those whose mental equilibrium

is undisturbed

should henceforth be treated

as probably pathological

***

MACHADO DE ASSIS 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Acrostic Greetings From The CarPeos ... ©©©

________________________________________________________________________________________________

May

Everyone

Rejoice and enjoy

Rewards on this

Yuletide

Consorting in

Heaven,  there is a

Royal choir—

In harmony and

Swing with rhythm.

Today, on this Holy Day,

Magnificent angels

Are all

Singing

________________________________________________________________________________________________

A Shorthand But Necessary Christmas Greeting

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Diagonal Crucifixes ???

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Tight End, Loose Lips, Catcher, The Missionary ... For Example

________________________________________________________________________________________________

All poetry is positional:

to try to express one's position

in regard to the universe

embraced by consciousness

***

VLADIMIR NABOKOV

Speak, Memory

________________________________________________________________________________________________

DAVID BOROWITZ + The Last Letter From Our First Queen

________________________________________________________________________________________________

BOROWITZ REPORT EXCLUSIVE

________________________________________________________________________________________________

👮 ... If I Didn't Have To Spend Money On Uncle TAXi ... 👮

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 My girlfriend

would love me for

the Forty Days of Christmas  

If I gave her

a total of forty $100 gifts

However,

Uncle TAXi

will not allow

that to happen

 

Because

I have to give HIM

the equivalent of

forty-five $100 gifts

My uncle's full name

is

 PROPERTi TAXi

and he is full of power

over homeowners

like me

 

Without Uncle TAXi

and his kin,

Uncle Sam would have

empty pockets

 

If I ignored Uncle TAXi,

he could padlock me 

out of home and hearth

👮

 

👮

But he is considerate enough

to accept half-payment

in December

and the other half

in March 

***

© PAUL OLIVERIO

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

How To Look At The Year We've All Been Waiting For

________________________________________________________________________________________________

HELLO  2021

GOODBYE  2020

NYTvision

________________________________________________________________________________________________

If I Were A Performance Artist ...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

 This would NOT be

a sad and blurry 

photograph of

the Brooklyn Bridge

It would be a magnificent space

for my performance art

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The Raspberry Statement ... Divorce Lawyers' Nightmare

________________________________________________________________________________________________

In their 2019 Spring Quarterly Journal,

The Institute of Inane Research

of Piscataway, New Jersey

titled an article  

 

PARENTS SAY GOODBYE

TO VERBAL VOLCANOS

 

The original title

of this decade-long study was

Seismic Activity

Does Not Belong

In The Home

***

 

The subjects of this research

were families with children

between the ages

of four and fourteen

 

Criteria required both parents

to have jobs outside

the household

 

Each parent had to have

personal "volatility levels"

of 5.5

 

That is, they were prone

to aggressively loud arguments

at the dinner table

and elsewhere

in the presence

of their offspring

 

Each family had to be

amenable to counseling

especially if any

of their children

were already in therapy

 

Participating parents

were given very simple instructions:

 

Anytime the urge to argue

inspired either one of them,

"identifiable words"

in the English language

could not be used

They were to be replaced

by pure nonsense syllables

punctuated by flatulent sounds

 

Just imagine

scat singing morphing

into fart sounds

without the aroma

 

The volume of this

nonsensical communication

was unlimited

 but all such "arguments"

ended with both parents

laughing hysterically

and creating

a family hug-fest 

 

The primary concern

of the Institute

was the mental health

of children

who witnessed this 

"transformative parental behavior"

 If there was a measuring stick

for  WELLNESS,

all the children

of 5.5 Volatility Level parents

went from the low end

to the high end

in the course of a ten-year study

Physical appearance, 

academic performance,

and sociability skills

improved dramatically

despite whimsical urges

to scat sing until

everyone around them

chimed in

 

With very few exceptions,

all "transformationalized" 

children

became big fans of 

Lewis Armstrong

and Ella Fitzgerald 

 

In rare instances,

some of these children

became authorities

on fart jokes

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Conundrum

________________________________________________________________________________________________

I wanted a day

devoid of thought

but I did not know

what to think

Mission accomplished

***

© PAUL OLIVERIO

________________________________________________________________________________________________

A Bullet-Laden Suggestion For Your Daily Dose Of Satire

________________________________________________________________________________________________

   Dr. Fauci says that 

alcohol may help people 

• survive coronavirus briefings.
•  
•  
• Scientists say 
• that Earth is endangered 
• by a new strain of fact-resistant humans.
•  
•  
• Obama proposes  
• cancelling cable at the White House 
• to get Trump to leave.
•  
•  
• Ivanka Trump 
• applies for the job
•  of daughter to Joe Biden.
•  
•  
• Queen Elizabeth II offers 
• to restore British rule 
• over the United States.
•  
•  
• Putin warns that the U.S. 
• will be controlled 
• by Americans.
•  
•  
• Get the Borowitz Report 
• in your in-box. 
• Sign up for the newsletter.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Upstate NY, 12/17/20: Stunningly Beautiful From 3000 Miles Away

________________________________________________________________________________________________

But I wouldn't want to shovel it (or dress for it)

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

#49: The Leaning Tower Of STREET ART UTOPIA

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Artist n/a

 

The next Street Art page

is  here

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Worth Multiple Readings To Approximate Understanding

________________________________________________________________________________________________

O HENRY

________________________________________________________________________________________________

A Court Jester Quote About Her Mother

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

JUDY TENUTA

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Exponential Logic Of Right And Wrong (Comic Relief #3606)

________________________________________________________________________________________________

GARY LARSON

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

To Make A Quatrain Sestet ... Number Thirty-Nine

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 

To make a sestet using

 a cliche from 

The Book Divine

 

Those who pontificate 

believe they are casting 

pearls before swine 

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Footnotes

TO MAKE A QUATRAIN
... 

[or any of its variants]

is the copyrighted property

of LCSoL

"The Book Divine"

refers to

Matthew 7:6
 

Some italic couplets
were originally written
in the 20th Century
and copyrighted
under the title
The Neither/Nor Journal

The next page
in this series
is  here

________________________________________________________________________________________________

He Predicted The Q-Anons + The Proud Boys + The Trumpettes

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 Too many people enjoy

an extended vacation

from evidence

***

≈ BERTRAND RUSSELL ≈

(1892-1970)

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

A Hungry Shopper In The Baking Aisle

________________________________________________________________________________________________

MOUSE IN THE GROCERY

HENRI COLE

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dream Bridge Revisited By A Someone From The Class Of '61

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

  Gratitude from Public School 193

But shouldn't they ALL be wearing masks?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The Sacred Black Circle (Comic Relief #3600)

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

JULIA LEIGH + PHILLIP DAY

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Once Upon A Time, There Was America ... Add Your Own Image

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Once Upon A Time, There Was America

not North America
not South America
but the
United States of America

Where people only wore masks
on Halloween
or at costume parties

Once upon a Time

***

© PAUL OLIVERIO

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Random Acts Of Helplessness

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

he stumbled across the street

then he fell on the sidewalk

 

he got up

and stared at the sun

proudly

 

he walked one block

then fell again

and crawled

into a doorway

 

people walked by

and gawked

when they saw him

 

then random people

walked by

and ignored him

 

he may still

be there

 

but I can't

see him from here

***

© PAUL OLIVERIO

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The PANDOLFINI Commandments For Chess ...

________________________________________________________________________________________________

And other forms of life

 

Dedicated to the Raging Rooks of Harlem

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Photoverio #518: Defying Gravity

________________________________________________________________________________________________

© Oliverio

________________________________________________________________________________________________

On The Astaire Way To Heaven 👉What A Concept 👈

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 We can all be

Fred's Ginger

© Oliverio

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

IF...The Whole World Was Bleached Of Color ... THEN ...

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Everywhere you looked,

it would feel like

you were in

an Art Museum

© Oliverio

and there would be 

no discrimination against 

people of color

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The I. I. R. Discovers Sigmund Freud's Brother Alan

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Many things have been said

about Sigmund Freud and they 

will continue to be said 

but what is not said

by anyone outside  of

The Institute of Inane Research

is that the Godfather of Psychoanalysis

was a terrible speller.

😥

In the afterlife, it  so happened

that Dr. Freud thought he met

his brother but the man's surname

was not Freud but Freed.

 

Mr. Freed's first name is Alan.

 

The two gentlemen, after gut laughing 

at what Freud called "mispellopia,"

became the best of friends

and would always greet

each other with the words

Rama Lama Ding Dong

Brother Mother Ping Pong

Recently, Alan Freed

asked Sigmund Freud

what he thought of the world

in the year 2020:

As a psychoanalyst,

they threw me under the bus

because I said everything relates to 

either the Sex Wish or the Death Wish.

 

The year 2020 proved them wrong:

COVID-19 is all about the Death Wish

and it is the most unifying thing 

in the world.

 

News about COVID is a 24/7

occupation of most people.

  

As for the Sex Wish, three words

that reverberate around the world are

BLACK LIVES MATTER

but an equal truth is...

the black Penis rules!

***

 

© PAUL OLIVERIO 

Happy Googling

   and Happy Holidays

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Eduardo Hooperez: Please Call 718-779-0290 For An Art Project

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 Eduardo, please call the owner

of this 21st Century NIGHTHAWKS DINER

to promote his restaurant

by updating 

Edward Hopper's classic painting

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Photoverio #517: Refrigerator Magnet Blues Band

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rockin' In The Rocks

© Oliverio

  Bleached Blues with Semi-Sombrero

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Photoverio #516: Seasons Greetings ... Ethnically + Fast Foodily

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Feliz Navidad para Tamales

© Oliverio

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Photoverio #515: A Red Light District

________________________________________________________________________________________________

© Oliverio

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Yin Versus Yang ... And The Winner Is ...

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

My cats had

a sleeping contest

and  I was the winner

or I am still sleeping

and more obviously

the winner.

Tomorrow,

they will have to

feed me

  ________________________________________________________________________________________________

Footnote

YIN VERSUS YANG ... AND THE WINNER IS ...

is the copyrighted property of LCSoL  ________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

In 1964: What American Rolling Stones' Fans Did NOT See

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The British release of

the Rolling Stones' first album 

was wordless except for 

the word Decca

(the recording company)

 

The British liner notes

contained a controversial

statement which was deleted

from the American liner notes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Both the controversial statement

and the wordless cover were 

the brainstorm of their manager,

ANDREW LOOG OLDHAM 

 

Hot off the press, the album

was a big hit on both sides of the pond

 

The Rolling Stones'

debut album officially 

became known as

England's Newest  Hitmakers

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

BANKSY Can Take It To The Bank ... The Monet Miasma

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sold at auction for

almost ten million

dollars

Is Monet crying in his grave? ... Nope, I bet he's laughing

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hallucinatory Logic (Comic Relief #3586)

________________________________________________________________________________________________

ADAM DOUGLAS THOMPSON

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Set 'Em Up, Joe ...A Most Profound Quote From The Barr Man

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Even the Greatest Liars

slip and tell the Truth

Sometimes

DAVID BOROWITZ

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

The Twilight Zone, Alfred Hitchcock And Me ME Tv

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Maybe the most

entertaining channel

on television

for Me 

and YOU

 

Me TV

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

This Is Not A Drawbridge ... It Is A DREAM BRIDGE

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

But if it could be

drawn open,

 

one million and one

memories 

would pop out

of this suspension bridge.

 

I grew up

in the shadows of 

what you see here

 

I walked on this bridge thirty times.

 

All but three

involved a shortcut

—across its width—

to a Catholic Church

 

My thinking was

if I get run over and die

on the way to or from

Sunday Mass

that would be

an Easy Pass 

to the Promised Land

 

 

The Whitestone Bridge is viewed 

from the continent of North America

and this exact image appears

in the opening credits of BECKER,

starring Ted Danson

 

I lived two blocks away from the bridge 

on the unseen side of this suspension

which is  that thing called Long Island

whose western end is fronted by

the East River 

 

The park adjacent to the bridge

is named for one of our Founding Fathers:

Francis Lewis

but everyone called it Whitestone Park.

 

It is where I smoked my first cigaret

a jazillion years ago,

give or take

a few jaz. 

 

Maybe I should be

reduced to  a mound of salt

because I have 

inundated these pages

with Whitestone Park 

and Whitestone Bridge memories

which truly amount to 

nothing more than

talking to my mother and father 

and sister Linda

 

All of whom are laughing their asses off

in the Promised Land.

***

© PAUL OLIVERIO 

________________________________________________________________________________________________