Dirty Art

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Read all about it

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

Photoverio #529: Palm Frond Horsehead Sculpture

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

© Oliverio

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Lousy Photograph, Number Two: MERCER MAYER And Me

________________________________________________________________________________________________

MERCER MAYER

 

 

***

 

If forgetting were an art,

I'd be Van Gogh,

then forget where

my ear was

and cut off

my toe

***

 

PAUL OLIVERIO 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lousy Photograph, Number One: IF ...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

© Oliverio

 

 

IF

profiles of

Alfred Hitchcock

and Louis Armstrong

merged with

an image

of a rose

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

"Simply Delicious"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Six-Star Egg-Bites

 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Photoverio #528: Come And Get It

 ______________________________________________________________________________________________

 

© Oliverio

______________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The DNRBTL Alternative To Censorship

______________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Instead of being told

we cannot read this book

or that book,

we are told

Do Not Read

Between The Lines

 

In other words,

whatever you read

(or hear) on your

favorite political pages,

take it at face value

AND

never question

its truth

  

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Footnote

THE DNRBTL ALTERNATIVE

TO CENSORSHIP

is the copyrighted property of 

Lewis Carroll School of Logic

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Another BOROWITZ REPORT Exclusive

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Read All About It

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Vertically Speaking ... At The Risk Of Family Braggadocio

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 The

first

Church

is

the

Home

***

 FRANK OLIVERIO

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Photoverio #526: If You Have A Bucket List ...

________________________________________________________________________________________________

If You Have A Bucket List, 

We Have The Buckets

© Oliverio

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Photoverio #525: Easy Maintenance Barnyard Animals

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

© Oliverio

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

24/7 Picket Fence Library ... In Profile

________________________________________________________________________________________________

It may be Little but it sure is Enlarged

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hazy Hundred-Year-Old Library + Covid-Closure Notice = 😱😱

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

😱😱

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

1/22/21: Heaven Is Celebrating A Lot More Than We Are

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Because everyone there

can fully appreciate

the colossal beauty of 

the [very enlargeable] 

numbers below

 

Especially 1957:

Hammerin' Hank's MVP season

HANK AARON

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

 

I Forgot The Rule That I Would Never Ever Post A Shoutout

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 Shoutout to everyone who can remember

their childhood phone number

but can't remember the password

they created yesterday.

***

ANDRE ANONYMOUS

(Lifted from a pinterista)

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Neither Is It A Healthy Exercise ... 31/17ths Of A Haiku

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Whether you live

in country or city

It is never going

to be pretty

If you swim laps

in the pool of self-pity

***

PAUL OLIVERIO

 

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Footnote

For a not-so-obvious variation

of this theme,

click here 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The Difference Between Letters Of The Alphabet ... And Numbers

________________________________________________________________________________________________

There are useless letters

and letters which could be

dispensed with

What separate functions do 

d and t perform?

 They have almost the same sound

 The same goes for b and p

...

They are calligraphic folderol

 

Look at the digits:

there are no two which serve

the same function: 

 4 is 4 and 7 is 7

 

And consider the beauty

with which the 4 and the 7 form 

this thing which is represented by 11

Now double and you have 22

Multiply it by itself. It makes 484,

and so on

 

But where the perfection is greatest

is in the use of zero

The value of zero is, in itself, nothing

But what is the function 

of this negative symbol?

To augment

 

A 5 alone is a 5

Place 00 with it, it is 500

 

Thus, that which has no value 

makes great value  

 something which doubled letters don't do,

for I approve as much 

with one p as with two p's

 

***

 

MACHADO de ASSIS

Dom Casmurro 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Regarding Inauguration Day, 2020

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

We are in the afterglow

of a luxurious fatigue:

there was no violence

in response to

the Inauguration

Congratulations, President Biden

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

The Vaguely Speckled Midnight Colors Of My Backyard

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

© Photoverio #524.5

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

Photoverio #524: Dog Head, Dog Whisperer + Black-Shirt Dude

________________________________________________________________________________________________

© Oliverio

________________________________________________________________________________________________

If Martin Luther King Were Alive In the Year 2020 ...

________________________________________________________________________________________________

********************

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Regarding An Appropriate Honor On Martin Luther King Day

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

≈ Ribbon-Cutting Day for Black Music ≈

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

This Should Have Been Posted Sixteen Days Ago

________________________________________________________________________________________________

2020

A Year In Review

by

DAVE BARRY

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Your Brain's Functions [Haiku #76]

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

  If you want
your brain's functions
to keep out of danger,

avoid anger


________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes

YOUR BRAIN'S FUNCTIONS

is the copyrighted property
of LCSoL


My haikus
are no longer linked together
because I did not
want to make life
too easy for our favorite thieves

But I'd risk a felony charge
if I could steal haikus from
these two guys

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Photoverio #523: A Rose For Emily Carol

________________________________________________________________________________________________

© Oliverio

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

Three Of A Kind ... The Gnarly Tree

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

The Gnarl

The Erection

The Base

© Oliverio (3x)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

MACHADO dE ASSIS Knew Sam and Grace

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

***

 

 

 

 

If conjugal felicity could be

compared to the grand prize

in a lottery, they had won it

with the ticket they

purchased together

 

 

 

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

A Sample From A Phototgrapher EVERYONE Should Know

________________________________________________________________________________________________

MARIE COSINDAS

 

Why isn't she better known?

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Four Years Before The Dream Came True

________________________________________________________________________________________________

California Dreamin'

2012

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Double Dose Advice From A Doubled FAUCI

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Fauci Says Immunity from Trump 

Requires Two Doses of Impeachment

Read all about  it

 

(Borowitz Exclusive)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Poeticizing Another MACHADO (This One Is About Fertilizer)

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Instead of a coffin,

you should often

know the difference

between the two.

  If you want her heart

instead of her shoe

 

⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇

 

VICE IS

OFTEN

THE MANURE

OF VIRTUE

 

⬆⬆⬆⬆⬆⬆

MACHADO DE ASSIS

(1839-1908)

________________________________________________________________________________________________

I Can Always Fall Back On THE FALL ... One Of The Multiples*

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

An addiction

to silk underwear

does not

necessarily imply

that one's feet

are dirty

***

 

 ALBERT CAMUS

 

 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

* Footnotes *

This was my fifth and most satisfying read

of Camus' novel.

 

Other "Multiples" in the novel series include

Great Gatsby (6), Catcher in the Rye (9),

Huckleberry Finn (4), Portnoy's Complaint (5),

Wicked Pavillion (6), Cat's Cradle (7),

Sartre's Nausea (7)

...

 

There are three "10-Reads"

in the short story series:

Perfect Day For Banana Fish,

Thank You, Ma'am,

and

Kafka's Metamorphosis.

 

Gentlemen and Gentlewomen,

start your search engines   

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

AintGotNo IsNo Puzzle To Me ... Neither Is The Deleteable Advert

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

NINA SIMONE

 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Slicing, Dicing, And Cataloging The FIFTIES And SIXTIES

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

 

BILLY JOEL

 

with apologies to

Harry Truman, Doris Day,

Red China, Johnny Ray

Marilyn Monroe

and Joe DiMaggio

...  

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Absenting My Better Half ... Whenever I Hear Music

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Whenever I hear music

—when time gives me the chance—

wherever I am,

I've got to dance

 

Sitting, walking, or talking

on a chair, sidewalk, or street

I am one big ball

of happy feet

 

Ethel or muddy waters

Beethoven or james brown

I get on up

or I get down

 

Dion with

or without the belmonts

my feet are

gushing fonts

But feet is just code

for my body's mother lode

(dem dancin' steps mostly

are not visibaly showed)

 

To mozart, I kowtow

with a swimming eye brow

 

For dylan, I am hip

with  silent gyrating lip

 

In the car,

all the singers

make me dance

with ten fingers

 

Be bop, doo wop, hip hop

or patsy cline

my internal dance floor

is real estate divine

 

Elvis, chuck berry, 

motown, the stones

always set me free

and I am truly 

happy just to dance

with me  

 

***

 

PAUL- OLI- VERIO

 

 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Footnotes

ABSENTING MY BETTER HALF

WHENEVER I HEAR MUSIC

is the copyrighted property

of LCSoL

This page was orchestrated

by Linda Oliverio

b. 10/11/46

d. 6/25/75

This page was approved

by her parents

 

I can clearly see

this holy trinity

dancing to

this song 

 

Thus,

my next 

BEATLES page

is  here

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The Fortieth Page In This Series ... Bird Song

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

We can't go on

meeting like this 

© Oliverio

***

The next page 
in this series
is  here 

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

Semi-Censored JONATHON RICHMAN On The Sappho Steps

________________________________________________________________________________________________

I was dancing in the _____ bar

________________________________________________________________________________________________

It's Dark And Hazy Because I'm Lazy + Ego-Crazy BUT Humble

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Bishop Reilly Freshmen

1964

 

Larry, Carl, Barry

Perry, Paul, Terry 

There were about thirty boys

posing for the yearbook

class picture

 

Brother Lester 

was our 

Home Room teacher

 

Only six boys

are in this

fifty-six year-old image

 

With a Sal Mineo

scar on my face,

I cropped out

everyone else

out of humility

 

Even the best-looking

of the rest

was a mediocrity

in comparison

to the brown-eyed

handsome boy

with his Sal Mineo

scar

 

It's bad enough

I make

Larry, Carl, Barry

Perry and Terry

 

Look like

Pillsbury Dough Boys 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The Legacy Of Donald Trump

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Read all about it

________________________________________________________________________________________________

A Flower By Another Name ... Is Worth Listening To

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

I am known as

a Bird of Paradise

BUT

you can call me

Gossip Gertie

and 

I want to tell 

you

about the palm trees

that populate

Long Beach

and elsewhere:

 

They are nothing but

oversized toothpicks

with frilly peaks

and a goiter problem

***

 

PAUL OLIVERIO

©©©

 

[image and text] 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

The Hot Stove

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The hot stove

and the cold floor

under the coffered ceiling

with snow-flaked windows

is

warm to the touch

with

Beethoven's

Pastoral Symphony

it

tastes better with

a hot bowl of oatmeal

***

 

PAUL OLIVERIO

©©© 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Photoverio #522: Don't Tuch It (Sic)

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Leaf It Alone

© Oliverio

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Ultimate Ambassador

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

The sun

is the ambassador

of nature

About this quote,

I'll say nothing,

of course,

except to identify

the source

HINT:

we all know what gas is

the quote is from

MACHADO DE ASSIS

© Oliverio

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Photoverio #521: Five Degrees Fahrenheit

________________________________________________________________________________________________

© Oliverio

________________________________________________________________________________________________

I'm Not Expecting You To Know Who Owns The Zebra

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sixty-nine years ago,

what has become

a world-famous

logic puzzle

was published.

Life International

was housed

in Rockefeller Center

and the riddle

was a big topic

of discussion

in the

Sacred Cellar.

That is,

the watering hole

of the restaurant

adjacent to

the world-famous

skating rink

The watering administrator—

otherwise known as

the head bartender—

GUARANTEED

the imbibers

he would have the solution

the next day.

 

His audience included

Time-Life journalists,

photographers and executives.

 

There were

NBC producers and TV personalities,

Shell Oil executives

and other A-list personages.

 

Collectively,

they were non-plussed

by this 

multi-ethnic,

multi-cryptic

multi-information

mystery. 

They bet the bartender

that it

COULD NOT

be done.

 

The bartender's name

was Sam

 and this story

 is continued

here

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________