It began as the GODFATHER OF MATH, evolved into the GOODFATHER OF MATH. Now this. Go figure...

The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = G. CARLIN...Stain glass, engraved glass, frosted glass
–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES ... Music is the mathematics of the gods=PYTHAGORAS ... Nothing is more fluid than language = R. L. SWIHART
I cannot live without the oxygen of laughter = DAWN POWELL ... But laughter cannot survive without the hydrogen of gravitas = PAUL OLIVERIO

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

A Course Offering From The University Of Scamology


Laughter 101

Interested students need to be comfortable 
with large groups of people in dark,
air-conditioned rooms and one silver screen 
directly linked to the emotional controls
of everyone present.

The curriculum is based
on  control of those emotions.

The aspiring Laughers attend classes

in a warehouse basement in Hollywood. 

They learn the difference between a guffaw 
and a horselaugh; a ropple and a bellow. 

They learn how to augment their larynx 
(Like laughing into a megaphone.”) 

A ropple is a roaring laugh that ripples 
through an audience. 

Upon completion of the course, certificates congratulate 
the recipients for having a “Welcome Social Disease” 
because professional laughter is highly contagious. 

It infects everyone within its radius. 
It shills into the brains of entire audiences 
and resoundingly echoes out of their mouths.  

Licensed to laugh, the “graduates” are then flown
to every cineplex in America.
Their effect is to eclipse the cause. 

The professional Laugher must have a laugh 
that is funnier than a poorly scripted scene 
on the movie screen. 

But those infected by the rippling, rollicking, 
thigh-slapping  laughter that permeates its way 
around the theater will walk out  
stumble-drunk with hilarity.  

Not because they had intercourse with a professional  
Laugher  but  because of  a hysterically funny movie,  
so they think. 
Then the film will be  enthusiastically recommended 
to friends and described in a manner superior
to how the movie had originally been written. 

Then the friends repeat this process...And then their friends 
tell other movie-going people...and you have 
another rippling effect that puts 
the boffo in the box-office.
Professional  Laughers are future candidates 
for Weight Watchers of America:  they are all fat.  
As a bonus for their sit-down labors, they receive
life-time supplies of buttered popcorn and Milk Duds.
And hot  dogs and movie anecdotes.

is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.

It was originally written in 1997.

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