It began as the GODFATHER OF MATH, evolved into the GOODFATHER OF MATH. Now this. Go figure...


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The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = G. CARLIN...Stain glass, engraved glass, frosted glass
–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES...Music is the mathematics of the gods = PYTHAGORAS... Nothing is more fluid than language = R. L. SWIHART
I cannot live without the oxygen of laughter = DAWN POWELL + + + But please be sure to season that with the hydrogen of gravitas = PAUL OLIVERIO
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Friday, May 5, 2017

From Bebe's Homage To My First Cigaret

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September, 1961

The summer is over therefore 
the Oliverios return
to our winter home

All those wonderful
summer days and nights
will have to wait
another year
to happen again.

The school year began
the next day.

Sandy Rosenblatt and Michael Catera,
my two best friends in Whitestone,
greet us upon arrival.

I did not have to help
the family unload the car
because my friends
were anxious to take me

Where we navigated our way
behind many bushes.

Thirteen, twelve and eleven
are the ages of the three boys.

Sandy is the youngest.

Michael stole a pack
of cigarets from his Father
(or maybe it was from his Mother).

Sandy had a silver lighter
monogrammed with
his Father's initials.

The two of them
had been smoking
all summer long.

I was a twelve year-old
tobacco virgin.

The two of them
were much much smarter
than I would ever be
because I said No
to breath mints
after losing my virginity.

I was too busy coughing. 

When I get home,
the smoke was on my breath
and I could not deny what happened.

It was a Sunday.
***

The next day my punishment
was meted out by my parents.

From Solomon's Candy Store,
school supplies for me
and my sister, Linda,
were purchased.

Mother and Father Oliverio
demanded, as a punitive measure,
that I had to carry
Linda's school supplies
home from two blocks away.

I had to carry ten pencils
instead of five and 
four notebooks
instead of two
... 

Michael and Sandy spent
the week mocking me
for two reasons:
my "punishment" for getting caught
and my inability to inhale a cigaret.  


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Footnote
Every word of the above is pure fact,
including the names of my two friends
whose parents were never informed
about their son's tobacco transgressions.
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