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There will be
neither hyperlinks
nor images on this page
because I do not know
the statute of limitations
in New York
for being
a F*cking Idiot
But the story told below
is 99% fact
________________
__________________
It was the Summer of 1968
when a 19-year-old punk
drives his car into the
DEVITO CAR DEALERSHIP
in Smithtown
The warranty on his
Volkswagen Automatic Bug
entitled him
to a free tune-up
::::
The punk and his two
best buddies
from Rocky Point
had heard that
the bulletin board
at this dealership
featured pictures
of
Billy Joel's drummer
That proved to be true
and we uttered
"WOW"
eleven times
:::
One for each toke of marajuana
we had smoked
that morning
HOWEVER,
the dealership
kept us waiting
endlessly
for the tune-up
to be completed
despite the vehicle
ultimately
being parked
where six other people
had driven away
with their serviced cars
Let's just get
the F*ck outta here
said the owner
of the Volkswagen Bug
AND SO WE DROVE
BACK TO ROCKY POINT
The punk's parents
were sitting comfortably
at the foot
of their driveway
on
137 Friendship Drive
They were not looking too happy
"Turn the car around, Paul.
We're taking a trip to Smithtown
without your junkie campanions."
He told me
He told the punk
that the whos-a-ma-dingy
on the whatcha-macallit
had purposely been loosened
making the repaired car
only driveable
for 50 miles
:::
The only time
the punk ever heard his father
use profanity was on that
return trip to Smithtown:
"If there was ever one thing
I thing I do not want you to be
it's a F*cking stupid thief
________________
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The punk's parents
promised him a severe punishment
for his misdeed
but forgot to impose it
As for the punk's
"junkie companions"
he will only say
one of them became
a distinguished
Suffolk County Detective
and the other
is
a District Attorney
::: :::
© Paul Oliverio ©
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