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🏀
🏀
___________
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Sunday, June 1, 2025
39-Year-Old News Story From The ONION ... Tilted With Age
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 |
| ••• |
The Problem With Self-Plagiarism
________________________________________________________________________________________________
The problem with
Self-Plagiarism
is
you may have
to pay two lawyers
where
only one
would suffice
but
to quote
"Anyone who defends himself
has a fool for a client"
However,
if you click on that link,
please give my regards
to that charming couple,
Mr. and Mrs.
Mumbo Jumbo
***
© PAUL OLIVERIO ©
*
The author of this page
has an advanced degree
in Self-Criticism
from the
Institute of Bathroom Mirrors
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Friday, May 30, 2025
HOODA HELAMI's Newest Poem
________________________________________________________________________________________________
You play the cards
you're dealt
and when
victory is smelt,
lay them down
gently
but rake in
your winning pot:
You're hot
Then
do your damnedest
to repeat the process
Yes
***
© HOODA HELAMI ©
Alter Ego #142857
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Attention: Aspiring Novelists ... I Mean this VERY SERIOUSLY
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Virtually all fiction
is crime fiction
including
one of the greatest novels
ever written:
***
Fyodor Doestoevsky
may also be responsible
for the perfect
crime fiction
title
***
Despite having
four copyrighted novels,
Oliverio is too embarrassed
to share any of them
but mighty proud
to have his name
"adjacent to"
However,
the GodFather of Math Trilogy
sliced, diced, and minced
those four novels
into 8000+
blogalicious pages
***
ASPIRING NOVELISTS:
please consider
the following hypothesis:
A successful
homicide detective
is
symbolically
and intimately involved
with
LOGIC
Instead of having an orgasm,
he/she
has the perpetrator
+
the criminal is ready
for the punishment
!!!
The novel I have in mind
has to do with
a fictional word game
called
"Spelling Tree"
created and controlled
by someone with
a 4th grade dictionary
much to the chagrin
of a retired
but highly regarded
homicide detective
*************
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Thursday, May 29, 2025
The Wanna-Bes Who Never Became (Comic Relief #6361)
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 |
| 16th Century Mona Wanna-bes |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Quoting Nelson Rockefeller ... Plus Variation Of The Quote
________________________________________________________________________________________________
The more intellectual
you get about art
the less aesthetic
you become
***
*
*
*
The more intellectual
you get about anything
the more detached
(and potentially stupid)
you become
about it
***
PAUL OLIVERIO
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Wednesday, May 28, 2025
The Problem With Being A Lifelong SPORTS-AHOLIC
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| !!! |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Not Intended To Be ... Funny, Clever Or Blue
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| W.D. WETHERELL |
This short story
is not intended
for mass consumption
It may be
the most shocking
and profane story
ever told
about the
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Tuesday, May 27, 2025
Sand Trees From The Long Beach Jetty Delta
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 |
| © PhotoVerio #907.5 |
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
PhotoVerio #907: Bullseye Sky
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 |
| © Oliverio 90011 |
Monday, May 26, 2025
Slightly Tilted WORDS OF LOVE
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| SCOTT FITZGERALD |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Saturday, May 24, 2025
A German Auctioneer Will Soon SCREAM With Delight
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
!!!
whose name
rhymes with
"Lunch"
*
*
*
*
*
*
BUT
it is too damn easy
to mispronounce
Once
upon
a
time
in Norway
a farmboy/aspiring artist
named
almost choked to death
on a
chicken-feather sandwich
his mother fed him
and the boy
screamed with anxiety
!
!
!
He quit the farm
and
moved into
an artist's loft
😱
😱
The Art World
is shockingly glad
he did so
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"I Never Promised You A Rose Garden"
________________________________________________________________________________________________
famously recorded
the Rose Garden song
and
became the first
female Country singer
to perform at
Madison Square Garden
may also have been
the first
female Country singer
to get caught shoplifting
a
Harry Potter DVD
in New Mexico
*************
Which of those
two paragraphs
do you think
most influenced
the home team
at
Madison Square Garden
this week
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Friday, May 23, 2025
This Is Not A Paid Product Promotion Page ... Quite The Contrary
________________________________________________________________________________________________
****************
In the process of creating this page,
I unintentionally discovered
the diametric opposites
of
PARANOIA and DONATION
Paranoia
can be defined as
an abnormal fear
of something valuable being
taken from you
Donations
can spring
from abnormal gratitude
by giving someone something
extremely valuable
to oneself
–for its creativity–
****************
The Starbucks located at
500 Long Beach Boulevard
makes me feel as welcome as
where everybody knows his name
And a day without their
Starbucks Black Coffee
—for me—
is a day without
consciousness
or purpose to do
anything but sleep
****************
Discreetly,
through their manager,
I donated a dozen
copyrighted Oliverio photographs
including the two images
on the top of this page
The "Donation"
was formally received
by the manager's assistant
who thanked me profusely
I virtually know
every barista
by name
None of them
is older than 25
and I truly feel
a Grandfatherly affection
for all of them
****************
The actual size
of
the STARBUCKS Logo photographs
with sufficient alterations
to warrant my legal copyright
is thrice the dimensions
of what appears
at bottom of page
****************
"Paranoia"
reared its thorny head
when I imagined
the images being posted
somewhere
without acknowledgement
of a photographer
named
"OLIVERIO"
 |
| © Oliverio |
 |
| © Oliverio |
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Thursday, May 22, 2025
Home Grown (Comic Relief #6352)
________________________________________________________________________________________________
I wrote a book
entitled
SHOPLIFTING
FOR
DUMMIES
but somebody
stole it
from me
***
© Paul Oliverio ©
2004
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PhotoVerio #906: Pre-Dawn Houseboat
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 |
| © Oliverio |
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Wednesday, May 21, 2025
Simple Truth Simply Stated By SHAKIRA
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Only run with scissors
if you want to get
hurt
***
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Tuesday, May 20, 2025
PhotoVerio #905: Nature's Gummies
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Barking Up The Tree
 |
| © Oliverio |
Punctuation Gets Punchy In The Court Of The Lower Case
________________________________________________________________________________________________
the semaphore
said to the hyphen
i was with your wife and
we danced the italic
exclamation
until our verbs
burst
without hesitation,
the comma said
OH MAMA
give me the colon
and our bodies
are bowlin'
a perfect score
until they wash up
on the shore
like burt lancaster
and deborah kerr
in
all punctuation marks
are deborahs
and burts
the ellipsis
is gonna kiss us
til it hurts
the umlaut
did twist and shout
and knock about
without
a fifth rhyme
it's no crime
when the semi-colon
gets semi-conscious
under the bus
laughing
under the hood
where the parentheses
pinned him
with pleasure
we
all
should
feel
that
good
!!!
© PAUL OLIVERIO ©
Inspired by
"The First Forty Nine
of
Ear Nest HemingSphere"
Bless his orgy
of
Prefaces
+
his much adoodle
about
no thing
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Forty Stop Signs At Eddie Hopper's Cafe ... With Preface
________________________________________________________________________________________________
There are times
when the loneliest places
are the exact
opposite
***
Forty STOP signs
were dining at
The Magritte Cafe
on Utopia Parkway
Most of them
were eating
ham n' eggs
but not
"Be Bop" STOP
who insisted on
chorizo 'n eggs
Olivia the waitress
from Bolivia
who did not
have to be told
chorizo was sausage
from
south of the border
"Wop" STOP
made a joke about
"Be Bop"
He's a Jew from Bayside
but he only eats
Mexican food
"Full" STOP
finished his meal
and lit a cigarette
"Top" STOP
couldn't eat very much
after dancing topless
at Cornell Gardens
"Non" STOP
couldn't stop talking
but only made sense
when her mouth
was full of food
"Half" STOP
reached for
his harmonica
after the last bite
"Mop" STOP
had a tambourine
—and legs that made—
—a man dream in stereo—
And then
the lights went out
Everybody
either played
an instrument
or danced
but no one
could see them
© PAUL OLIVERIO ©
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Monday, May 19, 2025
Outside My Bedroom Window
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© PhotoVerio #904.5
 |
| Hyperlink features BOZ SCAGGS |
Sunday, May 18, 2025
Post-Humously, I Can Acknowledge What/When She Paid Me
________________________________________________________________________________________________
[$10/1981]
My husband is so immature,
after sex he smokes
candy cigarettes
Therefore
—on my 76th birthday—
my psychoanalyst
sent me this:
 |
| Thank You, James |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
If I Still Had A Functional MOJO ...
________________________________________________________________________________________________
A/K/A
"Happy Birthday To Me"
I'd listen to this song
4 times:
once for each
19-year cycle
of my life
BUT
Monsignor Morganfield
has blessed me
with nothing more
than a high-octane
imagination
😇
 |
| Mr + Mrs. CarPeo will behave properly in public today |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Saturday, May 17, 2025
Bet Your Sweet Patooties I Am VERY HAPPY About This (2)
________________________________________________________________________________________________
The man
photographed below
is
without whom
the New York Knicks
would have crapped out
in the 2025 NBA playoffs
On behalf of all
Knick fans,
I state with certainty:
We love this man
a/k/a
"The Big Kat"
HOWEVER
...
let us pretend
the viewer
of this picture
knows zilch about sports
but actually sees
this behemoth
in this exact gesture
RIGHT OUTSIDE
HIS/HER DOOR
The natural response would be
to run back inside
and lock the door
!!!
But the absolute truth
is that a sports hero
celebrating Victory
[whether my team,
your team or your
neighbors' team]
has justifiably earned
the right to look freakish
in celebration
because sports fanatics
are freakishly devoted
to their teams
!!!
________________________________________________________________________________________________
That Which Is Written In Stone ...
________________________________________________________________________________________________
That which is
written in stone
sometimes
makes more sense
when read
while you
are stoned
***
© Paul Oliverio ©
Bullet # 216.5
***
This accounts for
giggling and chuckling
of stoned readers
whose
innocuous behavior
is alien to
the straight world
***
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Bet Your Sweet Patooties I Am VERY HAPPY About This (1)
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| Woody should have been sitting courtside |
Page 2 is here
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