The Institute Of Inane Research Praises #47

________________________________________________________________________________________________

***

Primarily

because of the

47th occupant

of the White House,

Pete Rose

and 

Barry Bonds

are soon to be

enshrined

in the MLB

Hall Of Fame

 

Contrary to what

#47 believes,

Pete Rose is deceased

 

BUT

Barry Bonds

is both

alive and well

 

He is soon to be given

an office

in Washington DC

and his title

will be

SECRETARY OF SWAT

 

© PAUL OLIVERIO ©      Text Only

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Closest I Ever Got To Viet Nam

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The closest I ever got 

To Viet Nam

was ten days ago

when I had 

a very painful need

to have

my toenails

clipped

They did a magnificent job

worth three times as much

as their $10 fee

to do the job

 

The entire staff

is Vietnamese

with the singular

exception

of the security guard

Vernis Sage NAIL BAR

is located at 

510 Long Beach Boulevard

and the manager

on duty at that time

spoke very clear English

 

I am grateful she allowed

this first-time

customer

pay with

a credit card

 

However, 

My greater gratitude

is for any American

who has served

in any war zone

but most particularly

in Viet Nam

 

Had that war not existed,

I would have been 

a college dropout

who would not have 

survived 

the 20th Century

© Oliverio                     + MARE from Starbucks

________________________________________________________________________________________________

And Now We Quote A Bird ... Talking At Midnight ...

________________________________________________________________________________________________

***

I ain't no

Bird of Paradise,

but I sure got a lot

of personality 

© PhotoVerio #885.5

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Boldly Quoting TWAIN Thrice ... But Luckily Not From Wikipedia

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Pudd'n Head Wilson's Calendar 

is a novel-icious collection

of wisdom and humor

including the following:

 

 

Let us be thankful

for the fools.

Without them,

the rest of us 

could not

succeed.

 

***

 

 

If not Pudd'n Head,

some other voice of 

MARK TWAIN

approximately

said the following:

 

  

When I was sixteen,

my father was an idiot

but when I was twenty-one,

it amazed me 

how much he learned

in five years.

 

***

 

This Math GodFather person

has repeated that quote

at least twenty-one times

 

But I must add something

from one of

Hal Holbrook's

modern impersonators:

 

 

For anyone offended by

either of those two quotes,

I hope that

someday you will

Woke up in hell

!!!

 

 

  ***  

 

Please Note:

The great actor 

HAL HOLBROOK

had a second career

impersonating Mark Twain

that money was lost

by people in

his audience

who swore

he was actually

Mr. Twain 

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

A Quote From Wikipedia About My Jefferson High School

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jefferson High 

has produced 

more prominent 

jazz musicians 

and composers 

than any other 

public or private 

high school

 in California.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Such A Crappy Photo ... Neither Person Is Identified By Name

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The tape marks

across the image

result from

the board across

the top of my

primary bookcase 

being a collage

of photos

collected over 

the years

 

Approximately,

50 percent of the images

are from 

Jefferson High School

 

Instead of intelligently using

lacquer to bind

all the images,

I used clear tape

 

This image

features two

Jefferson teachers

 

One of them 

is an extraordinarily

successful 

musician/music teacher

and the other

is a guy wearing 

a beret

Subsequent pages

will elaborate

on that paragraph

 

The last statement

for this page 

is a declaration

from the host

of the donut-funded

concerts Beret Man

staged for the students

at Jefferson High School

in Los Angeles:

 

Virtually

all of those concerts

would not have happened

without the support

of the Music Man

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Gary Larson + John Hammond = Comic Relief Blues

________________________________________________________________________________________________

GARY LARSON  +  JOHN HAMMOND

________________________________________________________________________________________________

This Page Is NOT For Anyone With Tender Ears

________________________________________________________________________________________________

***

If and then only if

I could get just one whiff

of cherry flavored Jif

that would be most terrif

 

BUT I can't

so I chant

and I rage

cuz I am

over-age

***

© HOODA HELAMI ©

Alter Ego #142857

________________________________________________________________________________________________

PhotoVerio #885: MIDNIGHT BOP

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Midnight

Bird Of Paradise

© Paul Oliverio ©

________________________________________________________________________________________________

PhotoVerio #883: Storage Space With Tape-Strip

________________________________________________________________________________________________

© Oliverio

________________________________________________________________________________________________

26-Line Acrostic ... In Alphabetical Order

________________________________________________________________________________________________

©©©©©©©©©

©©©©©©©©

©©©©©©©©©

 

___________________

All

Birds

Can

Dance

Eternally

Flapping

Great

Harmony

Is

Just

Karma

Logically

Muscular

 

NO

Older

People

Quietly

Remember

Sex

 

Therefore

Ultimate

Vibrating

Wishes

Xerox

Yesterday

Zestfully

 ___________________

 

 

 

© PAUL OLIVERIO ©

 

 

Originally

Written at

Hollywood Library

1623 Ivar Avenue

Hollywood 90028

 [May, 1981]

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

A Copyrighted Bullet Dedicated To MICKEY SPILLANE

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

***

There is no greater exercise

than to swim in

endless cash flow

***

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Footnotes

 

Due to inclement weather

and equally inclement

mental health,

my first Mike HAMMER novel

is both a slow read

and a thoroughly entertaining

experience

 

BULLET #209.5

is the copyrighted property

of LCSoL

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The 209th Bullet ... The Other End Of The Stick

________________________________________________________________________________________________   

 The short end

of the stick

is easier to twirl 

***

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Footnote

THE 209th BULLET

is the copyrighted property

of LCSoL

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The 208th Bullet ... Out Of Reach

________________________________________________________________________________________________   

 There is no point

in reaching 

for the sky

when you are

afraid of heights 

***

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Footnote

THE 208th BULLET

is the copyrighted property

of LCSoL

________________________________________________________________________________________________

100,001 Multi-Colored Rorschachy + Shapely Raindrops ...

________________________________________________________________________________________________

***

PhotoVerio #822.5

________________________________________________________________________________________________

BMI = Brick And Mortar Plus Imagination ...

________________________________________________________________________________________________

As seen 

through the lens of

© NEIL HOOS [2x]

ASTOR PLACE #1

 

©©©       ASTOR PLACE #2

________________________________________________________________________________________________

He Looked Great At 108 ... BUT ...

________________________________________________________________________________________________

He looks divine

on 

Birthday 109

Samuel Oliverio      b: March 11,1916      d: NEVER

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Enemies Of Truth ... With Curvature + Back-Script

________________________________________________________________________________________________

W.D. WETHERELL          Morning

________________________________________________________________________________________________

PhotoVerio #822: My Starbucks On A Wet Day

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rated #7 

Out of 3515

California Starbucks

 

© Oliverio          500 Long Beach Blvd

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lower-Case Poem Where Every Line Rhymes With ... Nice

________________________________________________________________________________________________

© paul oliverio ©

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Simple Aerodynamics (Comic Relief #6231)

________________________________________________________________________________________________

BILL BRAMHALL

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Last Word On CARDELLA ... Also Known As "Cordella"

________________________________________________________________________________________________

If the strip of brown

on the right border

draws further attention

to the highlighted

paragraph,

so be it

***

 

During a phone conversation

with Cardella,

I mentioned that I had

the Johnny "Guitar" Watson

compact disc

 featuring

two of her vocals

 

She exclaimed into the phone

!!!

 

For the next five minutes,

I gave her

considerable information

about/from 

the CD

She thanked me profusely

and said she was entitled 

to some royalties

***

 

Thus, 

I was responsible

for giving her $500

for a performance

+

"some royalties"

***

 

I hereby present

both Cardella songs

accompanied by

Johnny Watson's band:

 

Ain't Gonna Hush

 

+

Lonely Girl

***

 

both videos

have deleteable

adverts  

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Anyone Saying I Corrupted Students ... Is Correct ... [Page Five]

________________________________________________________________________________________________

There is

a song about a dentist

whose drill is

an obvious phallic symbol

and whose patient is

ecstatically willing 

to pay for it

*

When Cardella

[prior to the concert]

told me 

she was a big

 Dinah Washington fan, 

I told her

"Long John"

was one of my 

favorite songs

by the

"Empress of the Blues"

*

Cardella performed the song

for Jefferson Students

and sang the lyrics

as they appear 

here

 

The high school students

responded enthusiastically

but not one of them

jumped out of 

his/her seats

 

Thirty seconds

into the song, 

 a guidance counsellor

present at the show

made eye contact

with Oliverio

then hastily

left the auditorium

*

 

After "Long John"

the concert

was winding down

when 

THE PRINCIPAL

entered the auditorium

 

Off-stage,

all eyes

looked at the Principal,

then looked at Oliverio

then looked

at the stage

 

When

the dismissal bell rang,

students gave

Cardella loud applause

and departed from

 the auditorium

in an orderly manner

So did Oliverio

who could not help

but think he was 

in serious trouble

with

THE PRINCIPAL

*

 

But not a single word

was said

about the

"corrupting" song

*

 

I telephoned Cardella

two nights

after her concert

and learned the reason 

why:

 

She had convinced 

the Principal

that singing

 "Long John"

was exclusively

her idea

and Oliverio had

nothing to do

with it

***

 

PURE GENIUS

Despite her name being frequently misspelled 

***

 

The last page 

in this series

is 

here 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Mr. H + G Strikes Again (Comic Relief #6228)

________________________________________________________________________________________________

GARY LARSON

________________________________________________________________________________________________

PhotoVerio #821: Loneliness

________________________________________________________________________________________________

© Oliverio

________________________________________________________________________________________________

PhotoVerio #820: Cloud Duster

________________________________________________________________________________________________

© Oliverio

________________________________________________________________________________________________

A '28 Demi May Be Moore ... Sic Sic Sic

________________________________________________________________________________________________

We own the world

and that includes

two new members of

the Mickey Mouse Club:

 

1.

The ELONgated MUSKeteer

who stretches

further than

Silly Putty

2.

The TRUMPeteer

who blows his horn

24/7

_________

They entertain in ways

inconceivable to Walt

but not to our

very deep pockets

 ***

Sleepy 

once said

to the other Dwarfs

"Fear is over-rated"

 

 Sneezy 

responded with 

"There's a DEMi

in a moving truck

with a 28 on it"

 

All the dwarfs

looked at the truck

 but 

 Dopey 

(Of course)

got the last word

 

"Sleeping Beauty 

has returned

once more

and her name

 is

Demi Moore."

© OLIVERIO         © All of the Above ©

________________________________________________________________________________________________