One Quote From DAVID HANDLER'S NOVEL

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***

Literature is not like 

the 100-yard dash

 

There is no stopwatch

 

There's only 

the master opinion-shapers

like Tanner

 

If he says you're a genius,

then you are one

***

 

DAVID HANDLER

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The Pleasure Of Being ABSOLUTELY WRONG

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The staff at

the Billy Jean King Library

assured me that books

offered to the public

for donation were 

fumigated and sanitized

before being shelved

 

This book was one of them

and I pleaded total ignorance about

David Handler + Stewart Hoag

 

I had absolutely no intention 

of reading this book

but the cover image

is suitable for framing

 

For twenty cents,

the book was mine!

 

Twenty hours later,

I glanced at the first page

before giving the cover 

the axe

and...

I was proven 

absolutely wrong

 

I couldn't put 

the flucking book down

!!!

 

Ostensibly,

it is about the publishing industry

which the author

chews up into gobs of goo

and spits them out until

a few dead bodies

appear

Decadence

—in fifth gear—

is everywhere 

in this novel

and that thing 

known as

THE TRUTH

finds 101 places

to hide

Literary name-dropping

fills the pages like

umbrellas filling the sky

in that Magritte painting

 

There is highbrow hilarity

and below-the-belt

laugh-out loud

observations

 

Scott Fitzgerald

would have loved this book

after thanking the Gods

for not having to live

in the 21st Century:

 

It is impossible

to picture him

snorting lines 

of cocaine

 ___________________________

 

© Paul Oliverio ©

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HOODA HELAMI Makes A Profound Statement

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***

 

Goodbye to  poetry

about mountains and birds

because

colors speak louder

than words

***

 

© HOODA HELAMI ©

Alter Ego #142857

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Zucchini Weaponry

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The Greenville Nunchucks Society

equips the town police force

with zucchini-based

nunchucks

 

The police force consists

of a guy named Harry

and his wife,

Betty Lou

 

Such police tactics

can only be used

in municipalities

where the greatest crime

is forgetting to greet

your neighbor

 

Photographed by Barry Kenny

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.714285 Trompe L'oell = Another Visual Pun

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***

 

Duck Walk

 ***    © Oliverio ©    ***

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The 2nd-Most Important GEORGE In American History

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Obviously, 

the Most-Important GEORGE

in the History

of the United States

is George Washington

:::

:::

The abstracted image

featured here

is 

one of a gazillion abstractions

of someone special

but 

it is the only one

created by me

and that someone special 

 is

"George the 2nd Most"

 

He began his life 

as a Liverpoodle 

with three

Beatle-icious buddies

 

The four lads arrived 

in the United States

on February 7, 1964

and 

Mr. Ed Sullivan

made sure

the entire Universe

got to see them

 

But inside each

of the four Beatles,

there was an individual

with enough individual talent

to make a volcanic splash

on the World,

as Paul and Ringo

continue to do so

in 2025

 

Collectively,

the Genius level 

of the Beatles

defied measure

and a break-up

of the band was guaranteed

 

Seemingly

within minutes of 

their doing so,

George Harrison released

a triple-album boxed set

of original music

 

It had seismic effect

on the recording industry

but All Things Must Pass

 

In 1972,

George co-produced

"Concert For Bangaladesh" 

initiating the concept

of artists banding together

to raise funds for

worthy causes

 

Six years laters,

he co-founded

Handmade Films

producing some 

extraordinary movies

that might not have existed

otherwise

 

If you don't believe me,

ask Monty Python 

:::

:::

And then there were

The Traveling Wilburys

:::

:::

 

In our 300+ years

of what we know as

the United States of America,

the 

2nd-Most Important 

GEORGE

is

George Harrison

© Oliverio

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With Hazy, Pretentious Apologies To DUKE ELLINGTON

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Black, Brown and Beige

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Father, Forgive Me For What I Have Done

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Two weeks before my retirement

from Jefferson High School,

I paid an "emergency visit"

to the print shop

during 4th period

A student was there

who had been absent

from my 4th period class

for two months

 

Shortly thereafter,

I consulted

the Graphic Arts teacher

who was also a personal friend

Undeniably,

the student qualified

for a failing grade

but his final grade

was a C

because he created

this poster of 

PASCAL'S TRIANGLE

   

This triangle 

is as important in mathematics

as wheels are important

in auto manufacturing

In 2025

—through a link of emails—

the student requested

to be identified as

X Cubed

In code, that tells me

Mr. Cubed either has

his own print shop

or graphic arts studio

AND/OR

he is 

a Master Computer Designer

HOWEVER

I will tell you

the name of

2004 Jefferson 

print shop teacher

because 

if one-and-only-one

teacher at that school

deserved a statue

for contributions to

Los Angeles Unified School District,

including the education

of his own students

into becoming very productive 

[and self-respecting]

members of society

it is him:

Clarence Williams

 

© X Cubed ©

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PhotoVerio #935: All Night Long

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They danced the Frug,

the Monkey,

and the Low Down

all night long

 

© Oliverio ©

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PhotoVerio #934: The Wordless Commander

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***

The laughing cloud

commands

half the sky

©  Oliverio ©

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.714285 Trompe L'oell = Visual Pun

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***

 

Hand over Hand

* © Oliverio © *

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Vegetable Matter ... Inspired By STANLEY CROUCH

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The rhythm of the rutabaga

and the carrots in choir

had no desire for 

the cacophony of cauliflower

in the seventh hour

when the church tower

rung its bell

loud enough

to be heard in Hell

 

Radish and string bean

were upon the scene

 

[You know what I mean]

 

Squash and zucchini

 rise up from the hole

 

Pastor Potatohead

said GRACE

then

"Let's pass the bowl"

:::

:::

 

© Paul Oliverio © 

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The 219th Bullet: Racial Embarrassments With Terminal Solution

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 There is no white trash

 There is no black trash

 

There is only

Human Trash

—living breathing human beings—

 who would improve 

the human race

by getting dumped

into 

the nearest dumpster

***

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Footnote

THE 219th BULLET

is 

the copyrighted property

of LCSoL

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Twelve Historically Important Minutes Of American Television

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!!!

This was not

their only appearance

with Johnny Carson

but on  October 4, 1972

Ike and Tina Turner

were on screen 

for 12 minutes

 

Half of that time

they were interviewed

with Ike saying

no more than six words

but Tina and Johnny

more than made up for it

 

Two songs were performed 

with their own orchestra

and

—of course—

the Ikettes

 

On stage,

Tina Turner

was explosively delicious

and funky

BUT

tender and loving

when she needed to be

:::

 

!!!

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PhotoVerio #933: Origin Of The Word Geometry

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Gee,

I am a tree

Take

one look at me

How

knotted I can be

In

the name of 

"natural symmetry"

 

Nowhere

do I have rage

But you

dig my foliage?

 

If 

not, that's cool

I

am very old school

From

the oldest school

When

Gods got on their stool

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

At 

their drawing  boards

they drew

And

this 

is 

true:

For

what it's worth

they 

put us together

and

called it 

EARTH

:::

© Paul Oliverio ©

Katonah, 2013

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Claudia Money And Report #428571

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I say for sure

Money got a raw deal

at the Dime Store

 

All she wanted

was pickles

Payment accepted

only in nickels

She walked softly

as the sky carried

a big stick

Going home meant

returning to

the big

[pretzel]

Claudia Money

was not broken

but her words

were mostly

unspoken

She slathered him 

with yesterday's

cream cheese

She knew how to please

She knew how to plead

to the Gods

above and below

and

in between

"He's gotta go"

"His days are numbered"

"He denies me growth"

"My nights un-slumbered"

Philadelphia cream cheese

filled his mouth

with cheap thrills

then she filled his

nostrils

 

Breath became sparse

but his penis was hard

as she dealt him

Death's card

!!!

 

In life and strife,

all we have

are devices

and her pickles

were all slices

creating

the not-so-cheap thrill:

every square inch

of his body

was inlaid 

with dill

 

Police report #428571

was short and tart:

 

This was not murder,

she created art

*** 

 

© Paul Oliverio ©

 

 

 

Instead of 

a jail cell,

Claudia Money

was given

performance space

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PhotoVerio #932: Executive Offices

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The Executive Offices 

of

Me, Myself + Hooda Helami

 

© Paul Oliverio ©

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My Ode To The YARDBIRDS ... Verse Two

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***

 

Backwards I look

forward I go

got my nose caught

in the snow

 

Square is my heart

and

Round 'bout now

I must go

***

© Oliverio ©

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Artificial Substitute

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Truth is wrapped

in a bundle

—dead in the trunk—

in its place is

nine parts junk

Mr. Twain 

hit the nail 

on the head

when he said

Artificial intelligence

is so popular because

genuine intelligence

got buried

in an oak tree

Say one true thing 

to me

and nine lies

then I'll surmise

that you're

an honest human

and I am

Marilyn Monroe

***

© Paul Oliverio ©

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HOODA HELAMI's Ode To The Yardbirds

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***

Over the top

under the radar

in Flushing,

Long Beach or Qatar

Sideways sling

that major chord

down the scale

but don't get bored

***

 

 © HOODA HELAMI ©

Alter Ego #142857

 

 

"Second Verse"

is  here  

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Danger: Heartbreak Dead Ahead ... Motown Classic #714285

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Vanity

is the most important word

beginning with 

the letter

V 

I know this to be true

because my mirror

tells me so,

every morning

***

The Marvelettes

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Where Have You Seen WE Before?

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 ?

?

?

?

?

?

?

 

  

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

     

 

Don't ever

give your backhand

to the IRS

cuz without

Tax Dollars

the walls 

of Long Beach

would look duller

than last week's

glazed donuts

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