3 Imperfect Reasons KAFKA-ESQUE Is Such A Popular Word

________________________________________________________________________________________________

*** Imperfectly Reproduced  ***

FRANZ KAFKA

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Five Takeaways From My Seventy-Fifth Birthday

________________________________________________________________________________________________

1.

No one has ever done

more for a Paul Oliverio

birthday than Mrs. CarPeo

did for my 75th Birthday.

 

We had a spectacular

meal at the most

exclusive steakhouse

in downtown 

Long Beach.

Above and beyond her

monthly rent,

she gave me 

a "Bonus Check"

significantly reducing stress

associated with

property tax, HOA dues

and never-say-die

special assessment.

I now have a pair

of red sneakers

and a new set of

quality sweat socks.

She got us a scrumptious

almond raisin crumb

"Second Birthday Cake"

arriving eight days after

the actual birthday cake.

***

***

2.

The first two words

entitling this page

are near and dear

to my sports-aholic 

mentality.

 

Hardly a sports event

happens where its conclusion

is not met with 

an essay proclaiming

FIVE TAKEAWAYS

 

It is as if

the masters of the universe

declared

"Give them a number

that rhymes with JIVE

and we will have them hooked."

 

3.

My age is now 

one year from 

birthday number 76,

when as many trombones

will wail its arrival.

 

4.

If it delivers 

a shock to the system

that a desirable page 

of this blog

has nothing to do with

any other page

all I can say is

So Be It

 

5.

The V in SeVenty-five

stands for Vanity.

 

Otherwise

I would not end this page

with a racial statement:

Is the person

in the photo below

White, Black, or Latino?

________________________________________________________________________________________________

BARBARA KINGSOLVER Book Review ... The Poisonwood Bible

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

This is a stunningly 

delicious novel

with short chapters 

and 5 narrators: 

the wife + 4 daughters

of   a fire and brimstone 

missionary 

determined to tattoo 

the name “Jesus” 

on the skull and bones 

of every native 

in the Congo

***

© OLIVERIO ©

________________________________________________________________________________________________

From The Private Art Collection Of ... DOCTOR RORSCHACH

________________________________________________________________________________________________

***

JAVA STANIA

________________________________________________________________________________________________

PhotoVerio #741: Firehose

________________________________________________________________________________________________

© Oliverio                                      Burbank 2010

________________________________________________________________________________________________

PhotoVerio #740: Geometry Of Power Lines

________________________________________________________________________________________________

© Oliverio                       Burbank 2010

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Plain Words Posted 2 Days Before 130th Birthday Of ... DASH

________________________________________________________________________________________________

***

The favorite words 

of the plain man

are those 

which enable him

to speak without thinking

***

DASHIELL HAMMETT

born 

May 27, 1894

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Introducing MISTER ATTRIBUTO

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The world has always been crazy

but now America

has joined

the asylum

***

ARTURO ATTRIBUTO

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Immeasurable Respect Of This Inquiring Mind

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Despite periodic episodes

of excessive enthusiam

with their nightsticks

in the vicinity

of iPhones,

my respect 

for law enforcement

has no boundaries

In four different states

across the nation,

some officers know me as

Bookie or Bookman

because I am rarely seen

in public without

a book to read

For me,

there is no end to

reading novels

related to crime

and its' aftermath

Some officers know me as

Blabby

because my mouth

runneth over

unless circumstances

demand otherwise

I could bore you to death

with a list of authors

mastering the art of

Crime Fiction

so I'll keep the list short

and wish you a Happy Google:

Wambaugh, Grafton, Hammett,

Trevanian, Chandler

...

...

But the curious reader of

such fiction naturally

asks:

Which author is most preferred

by professional crime stoppers?

 

 

Today

a Long Beach police officer

gave me what is probably

the most common answer

police of any city or town

would give:

NONE YOU COULD NAME

BECAUSE READING

THEIR BOOKS WOULD BE

LIKE TAKING MY WORK

HOME WITH ME

WHEN I NEED TO DO

THE EXACT OPPOSITE

Surely that is not 

a literary answer

but 

undoubtedly

it is the most accurate

answer

👮👮👮

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Her Job Security Was Guaranteed

________________________________________________________________________________________________

For our purposes,

her name is "Sarafina Scarpa"

She was a curator

at the

Museum of Modern Art

in New York City

Thirty years on the same job

guaranteed more than

anything else that

Sarafina could never be 

dismissed from her

position

 

A recent exhibit

was entitled

20th Century European

Abstract Art

 

Most of the artists featured

were familiar to

art connisseurs 

But the piece

that received the most praise

was attributed to

a Scottish artist named

GUTHRINA ROBESING

In truth,

no such artist existed

and neither did

 any questions

concerning provenance

of the painting posted below

Therefore,

this blogger

claims copyright status

which forthrightly

belongs to

his smarter 

(and infinitely superior)

partner-in-blog

© Oliverio

  ________________________________________________________________________________________________

When Trespassing Is A Nuclear Crime

________________________________________________________________________________________________

***

© Oliverio                  ≈1975

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Page Two Of Two ... Bridging The Dedication To TUBBY

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The concrete beams supporting 

the Whitestone Bridge

are secure enough

to make the comfort level

of 

"father and son"

immeasurable 

 

The Whoosh Whoosh

of cars crossing

directly above

the basketball court

provides a cosmic

sound effect

to their game

 

The Whoosh Whoosh

of full length

tractor trailers 

 crossing directly above

adds exclamation marks

to their game

Suspension bridges

connecting Long Island

to continental land

of the United States

are too numerous

to mention

But only one of them

was constructed

within a similar timeframe

to a suspension bridge

on the western coastline

of the United States

 

The Whitestone Bridge

(1937)

and the

Tacoma-Narrows Bridge

(1938)

initiated construction

in consecutive years

 

The former is also known as

"the Bronx/Whitestone Bridge"

 

The latter is also known as 

"Galloping Gertie"

 

You can either use

your imagination

or click on

that hyperlink

to see

what became of

The Tacoma-Narrows Bridge

 

The only fatality of

that collapsed bridge

was a dog named

TUBBY

 

© Oliverio © 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Page One Of Two ... Bridging The Dedication To TUBBY

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The dedication has nothing to do

with the hoopsters in Whitestone Park

It has to do with the solidity,

safety and security reinforced by

the Whitestone Bridge,

despite the scribble

tattooed to its' support beam 

+

What happened to  another suspension bridge

in a town called Tacoma

-

There will be no absence of

hyperlinks on the other half

of this dedication

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Quoting Groucho's Fifth Brother ... Gigi Marx

________________________________________________________________________________________________

***

The man who 

has no memory

makes one out

of paper

 

***

 

GABRIEL GARCIA MARQUEZ

 

***

 

[re-formatted]

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Modern Russian Ring Dance

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 BRIAN STAUFFER

Communication Arts           May/June 2024

________________________________________________________________________________________________

My Antonio ... At The School Named For A Confederate General

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

A self-desrribed chollo,

Antonio Villa____ told me

that three of his California cousins

were students of mine

at Jefferson High School

in South-Central

Los Angeles

 

I correctly named 

the street gangs 

his chollo cousins were

associated with

but we both knew

we were BS-ing

each other

 

Three months after retiring

at the ripe age of 55

—the year was 2004—

I both moved to Virginia

and got a Math position

—for the next school year—

at 

TURNER ASHBY HIGH SCHOOL

in Rockingham County

 

Mr. Ashby had been 

a Confederate General

and the primary means

of income

in Rockingham County

was poultry processing

 

As another student described it:

"Chickens are no longer beheaded,

they are processed." 

 

Latinos  at Turner Ashby

accounted for less than 

one percent of the 

student population

 

Caucasians comprised 98.7%

of the faculty

 

Three black or Latino teachers

were all in "Special Ed"

 

The other faculty/staff

of Turner Ashby were  

of Asian descent

 

My sister's four children

all graduated with honors

from 

Spotswood High School

—also in Rockingham County—

 

My eldest niece

described Samuel Spotswood

 as a "Procurer"

during the Civil War

and the school's secret nickname

was the "PIMPles"

 

The secret logo

featured big-bottomed girls

in the 19th Century

equivalent of

"Hot Pants"

 

The mixed-case spelling

of the secret nickname

was exactly

as my niece described

 

Antonio Villa_____

was a mediocre Math student

of mine

until his other teachers

willingly issued him 

bathroom passes

 

Those passes were for

 almost entire period lengths

during which

Antonio "hung out"

in Mr. Oliverio's

classroom

 

By Christmas,

Antonio had the highest 

grade scores in

his Algebra class

 

Before Easter,

he had learned everything

an Algebra II student

needed to know

 

But pre-Calculus

was learned entirely

on his own

because Oliverio

was incapable

of teaching it

 

All I did was

provide textbooks

either stolen from the school

or purchased at

my own expense

 The last correspondence

I had from Antonio

was in 2010

by which time

I relocated to Long Beach

He was about to become

the first Latino

full professor

in the Math Department

at the 

University of Virginia

The school was designed by 

Thomas Jefferson

who doubled as 

a President of

the United States

 

Honestly,

I have no idea

of what a "full professor"

is

 

BUT

—like I previously said about Malcolm X—

I love you Antonio

 

However

that is an incomplete statement

because it has nothing to do

with my sexual preference

 

The complete statement is

I love you Antonio FLL

[ditto for Malcolm X]

 

I love you FuckLessLy

 ***

© Oliverio ©

________________________________________________________________________________________________

On Your 99th Birthday, I Love You Malcolm X ... Despite ...

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The horrifying playoff defeat

of the team

I have cherished

since Richie Guerin,

Cleveland Buckner,

and Willie Naulls

each scored thirty points

but a guy 

on the other team named

Wilt Chamberlain

scored 100 points

at a high school gym

in Hershey, Pennsylvania

But in the words of philosopher

—Gloria Gaynor—

I WILL SURVIVE

Rather than the voice

of the philosopher

you will here the voice the

the dizzy dame from Friends

a/k/a

Lisa Kudrow

 

In that dubious concept

we call REALITY,

she had the highest IQ

of all the actors

on that show

 

However,

if you see me tomorrow

and I am screaming in pain,

please ignore me

and do not call 

for an ambulance

 

Beware

the deleteable advert

and remember to say

"Wait till next year." 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

HAPPY BIRTHDAY #99

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Malcolm Little

was born 

ninety-nine years ago today

and 

in his honor

there will be a parade

beginning

at 

Madison Square Garden

when 

my New York Knicks

make mincemeat of

some ballers

from Indiana

The parade leader 

is pictured below

but first

I copyrightedly say

New Yorkers will like

when we 

put a spike

in its place

burying pace-rs

It will be nice

to serve them 

on ice

KNICKS uber alles

 

 

All over Manhattan,

the riot police

will be on full alert

—if and only if—

 they are not

wearing their

dancing boots

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Pixilated + Poetically Potent Palabras With English Translation

________________________________________________________________________________________________

A Closed Book Never Makes A Scholar

Palabras = Words

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Paul Gretschel + The Paul He Introduced To California [1968]

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Somewhere in Colorado

on Interstate 40

Fifty-six years ago,

I preferred finger-pointing

to finger painting

but not always

________________________________________________________________________________________________

PhotoVerio #739: African Iris With Double Vision

________________________________________________________________________________________________

© Oliverio

________________________________________________________________________________________________

TO WHOM THIS GOfATHER BLOG IS DEDICATED

________________________________________________________________________________________________

©

You did such a masterful job

of whispering C+F+G

across the room

that fellow passengers 

aboard the Queen Mary

thought we were

"the house band"

with one cutie pie actually

dancing a jig

to a dulcimer blues

duet

[the year was 2002]

________________________________________________________________________________________________