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It has always been easier
for me to say what
I am going to do
than to
do what it is
I say
For instance,
the other night
when I said
"Tomorrow, I will smear
my face with mayonnaise"
I sincerely meant it
At the precise moment
I made that statement,
I could feel
the slithery sensation
of a smooth
creamy substance
against my
skin
I envisioned the reaction
of people at work,
confirming their suspicions
about me
—mumbling to each other—
and shaking their heads
"It's part of an experiment
for the CIA,"
I told them
"It's happening undercover
all across America!"
I could hear
my boss say
"Kramer is ill,
we'll have to send him
home again."
I was
really and truly
excited that night,
just thinking about
tomorrow
BUT
when tomorrow became today,
the idea of
coating my face
with mayonnaise
seemed totally
preposterous
so I just ate
a quick breakfast
and packed
a sandwich
in a brown paper bag
It was tuna fish
At lunch
in the cafeteria,
someone remarked
"Hey Kramer,
you got some mayonnaise
on your cheek."
I just laughed and said
"Thanks for telling me"
***
***
© PAUL OLIVERIO ©
≈ 1978 ≈
Happaugue, New York
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