It began as the GODFATHER OF MATH, evolved into the GOODFATHER OF MATH. Now this. Go figure...

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = G. CARLIN...Stain glass, engraved glass, frosted glass
–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES ... Music is the mathematics of the gods=PYTHAGORAS ... Nothing is more fluid than language = R. L. SWIHART
I cannot live without the oxygen of laughter = DAWN POWELL ... !!! ... But laughter cannot survive without the hydrogen of gravitas = PAUL OLIVERIO
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

An Unpublished Image Of Mick Jagger (Unpublished Until NOW)

________________________________________________________________________________________________


SNL
10/7/78

Photographed last night
while watching  DVD:
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
The Complete Fourth Season   
________________________________________________________________________________________________


This Is Not An Illustration From A Children's Book

________________________________________________________________________________________________

It is a "Dron-o-graph"


Aerial view taken on January 18, 2017 with a drone
shows the Marienburg Castle near Pattensen,
northern Germany, standing amidst
a snow-covered forest. 


Caption is Verbatim 



 AFP photograph:
_______________________________________________________________________________________________

What Those Who "Find God" Should Know (Comic Relief #1577)

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Liana Finck
________________________________________________________________________________________________


I Hereby Present A Riddle With A Photographic Answer

________________________________________________________________________________________________

What do you get
when you mix the game
with
Finger Painting*
at midnight
without leaving
the comfort of your home?

Answer:
© Oliverio

*
The adult version of Finger Painting
is called  Finger Poking.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


This Is Not ... This Is ... [TIN/TI #36]

________________________________________________________________________________________________



  ⬆ 
THIS IS NOT 
Cary Grant.


THIS IS
Cary Grant.
 



The second image
is from
NORTH BY NORTHWEST.

The first image,
an homage to Cary Grant,
was photographed by
HELMUT NEWTON.

________________________________________________________________________________________________


A Simple Proof: Believing In Nothing Is Believing In Everything

________________________________________________________________________________________________

That is:
If you believe
Everything is a lie
Then you also believe
Everything is true.

.    .
.
 
If everything is a lie
then that statement is also a lie
and, everything is not a lie.

Thus: everything is true
and that is also
what you believe.
.
.    .

Albert Camus 
The Myth of Sisyphus

All I did was paraphrase
a two thousand year-old
conclusion.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Monday, January 23, 2017

All Nouns, Verbs, And Adjectives Have Modifiers [HKu #33]

________________________________________________________________________________________________


There are no GMO's

There are only foods
that have had
makeovers

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
ALL NOUNS, VERBS, AND ADJECTIVES...
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.

The next GoFather
Haiku page is
here.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Saturday, January 21, 2017

Photoverio © (#231): Divisionary

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Oliverio 
The Sky Splitter
with Rorschach Windows
________________________________________________________________________________________________


My Idea But My Friend's Photograph

_____________________________________________________________________________________________


© R.L. Swihart
Mohawk Beach Sculpture
Long Beach Peninsula 
_____________________________________________________________________________________________


The Purchase Police Strike Again (Comic Relief #1570)

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Drew Dernavich
________________________________________________________________________________________________


What If We Had A President Everyone Hated?

________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was no secret


That Donald Trump became
with a most unfavorable rating:
very many people do not
like him.

However, the same polls that reached
this conclusion also concluded
that Trump got very favorable ratings
for helping the economy
and fighting terrorism.

Consider the alternatives:
a President most people like
but his policies triple
the rate of unemployment
or a most beloved President
whose Presidency includes
a terrorist attack that triples
the death toll of 9/11.
***
It makes me want to open
my window at midnight–
like Howard Beale
told us to do–
but instead of shouting
I'm mad as hell...
I would scream 
  America First.
***
HOWEVER
President Trump
is merely a footnote on
this page. 

But the next dedicated
"President Trump"
page is
here. 
  
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Friday, January 20, 2017

Sounds Like Something President-Elect Trump Could Have Said

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The arrangement at the bar is that
I do all the buying but I also do
all the talking.

Sometimes I take a wedge of money
from my wallet and burst out
of the room looking for
someone to yell at.

House Of Meetings

My next Trump page is
here. 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Wednesday, January 18, 2017

She Said ... He Said ... But Mostly SHE ... (He/She #49) ©

________________________________________________________________________________________________

"This morning, when we were walking home
  from the store, you pointed out an old man
  sleeping in a white rocking chair on a lawn. 
  
"David, thank you for doing so
  because it inspired a beautiful memory
  from the best summer escape
  from my Bronx tenement childhood."

"Your inspirer is all ears."

"It was Summer of '61 ...
  My grandparents, who owned
  an Italian restaurant in mid-town
  Manhattan, rented a Catskills cottage
  at  Grossinger's Resort  for the extended 
  families of their four daughters.
     
"One cheater's dozen grandchildren
  got to escape  from hideous August
  heat in the Bronx and Brooklyn."
     
"Was this before your family bought
  the house in Montauk?"
     
"Right. That happened in 1962.
 That was beachfront property
 in Montauk.  The house was paid for, 
 with $37, 000 cash,  by Minnie
 and Joe Nunzio."
     
"But I thought Montauk summers
  were your favorite."
     
"Those summers never had
  all the cousins under the same roof
  at the same time. 
  
"But less than half of them
  are still alive and none of us
  are on speaking terms
  with each other.
  
"I mostly blacked out 
 all of the Grossinger's memories
 for that reason, until this morning."

"But before you go on, I have two questions:
  what is a cheater's dozen?"
     
"Ten instead of twelve."

"Second question. Weren't you
 on good terms with your brother
 before he died?"

"Not really, talking wasn't easy
  for either of us and always had
  something to do with our parents' estate."

"Okay, Anita, Consider that memory
  signed, sealed, and delivered.
  Please open the package."   
 
"Summer of '61... mid-August ...
  It was a drizzly Grossinger's morning
  when Grandma Minnie took her daughters
  shopping and Grandpa Joe was put in charge
  of us kids, who ranged in age
  from five to seventeen.
 
"Able-bodied Grandpa Joe set up 
  the croquet wickets
  —despite the wet grass–
  and then he fell asleep 
  in the white rocking chair
  on the veranda. 

"I won't mention my name
  but guess who was the best 
  croqueteer on the lawn."

"Was it the same girl who won a Croquet tournament
  in Newport Beach a few years ago?" 
 
"Yes, that same girl who sits before you.
  Anyway,  midway through
  the Ten Cousin Croquet Tournament, 
  my cousin Richard gives me a whack 
  on the butt with his mallet.

"He did it to break my concentration:
  I was winning by three wickets...
  and his gambit worked. 
  I put my mallet down, picked up a ball
  that was not in play and threw it at Richard.
  It hit him in the balls.
   
"All the  cousins laughed, especially the girls
  But the sky laughed the loudest in the form
  of a flash flood.
   
"The game ended...We packed up
  the croquet set. Then  somebody
  threw a mudball at my sister
  and War was declared.
   
"Four boys against six girls ....
  We were armed with
  one thousand one mudballs ..."
   
"Don't tell me."
   
"Tell you what?"
   
"Your Grandfather slept through
  the whole thing?"
   
"Of course."
   
"That reminds me of Ronald Reagan's
  most grandfatherly moment."
   
"Can that moment wait until
  I finish the story?"
   
"No. Inspiring your memory
  entitles me to interrupt it."
   
"Sorry. I had forgotten Oliverio Rule #47.
  Only you would associate Grandpa Joe–
  a hardcore Democrat–with Ronald Reagan.
  Allow me to pretend to be interested in
  what you now have to say."
   
"Pretending is our greatest survival mechanism.
  Anyway,  Reagan was famously forgiven
  for falling asleep while  Oliver North
  and the President's military mafia
  decided to sell weapons
  to Iranian terrorists."

"Wow! I had forgotten all about that."   
     
"Yes, Reagan had to testify
  during the Contragate affair...
  but didn't even get a reprimand
  for his snoring snafu."
   
"If Bill Clinton had fallen asleep
  when Monica Lewinsky gave him
  blow jobs in the Oval Office,
  there might not have been
  an impeachment hearing."
   
"Not true: Clinton was too slick and slimy
 —and too young—
  to have plead the Grandfather clause."
   
"The Grandfather clause?"
   
"Yeah. We forgave a President
  —who was old enough to be
  everybody's Grandfather— 
  for napping during crises 
  because napping is something
  all grandfathers did randomly."
   
"Just as I bet Grandpa Joe
  was forgiven for napping
  while a dozen grandchildren
  went to war."
   
"That's not quite true.
  But he enjoyed his punishment
  immensely."

"What was his punishment."

"His defense attorney–my
  fifteen year-old cousin Marilyn–
  pleaded extenuating circumstances
  because the night before the MUD WAR
  Grandpa Joe had driven up from
  his Manhattan restaurant to see
  how his three sons-in-law
  were doing in his absence."
   
"And ..."
   
"He returned to Grossinger's
  with a big bag of cash–enough
  for Grandma Minnie's shopping spree."
   
"So what was Grandpa Joe's punishment."
   
"As a result of the MUD WAR, 
  the clothing worn by a dozen children
  was irreparably stained.
   
"He had to replace each outfit."
   
"He enjoyed doing that?"
   
"Yes. Because all the shopping was done by
  his girlfriend–his favorite waitress
  from  Nunzio's Ristorante."
   
"All the shopping was done 
  on Grandpa Joe's dime, I presume."
   
"You are a correct presumer. The waitress
  was a black beauty from Harlem named
  Brenda Jackson. She was also
  my part-time nanny. 

"Brenda once telephoned
  Louie Armstrong from our apartment
  and let me talk to him."
   
"Now, I can't wait to hear chapter two
  of this story!"
   
"It's a very short one:
  Brenda was also my father's 'favorite waitress'
  and my mother demanded my Grandparents
  fire her. My mother  believed that happened
  but everyone else in the family
  knew otherwise.

"I was twenty-two years old when
  I learned–at Brenda's funeral–that
  it was a Louis Armstrong
  impersonator I talked to.
  End of story."

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Photoverio © (#230): The Long View

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Oliverio
Queen Mary
Restaurant Row 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


A Megaphone Through The Looking Glass [HKu #32]

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Humility is a megaphone
for what's known as
low self-esteem.

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
A MEGAPHONE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.

The next GoFather Haiku page is
here. 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Photoverio © (#229 + #229.5): Seagull Security Systems

________________________________________________________________________________________________


© Oliverio
Border Patrol at 
the Port of Long Beach

ALL SEAGULLS
PATROLLING THE PORT
MUST BE APPROVED BY
AGENT ORANGE TABBYO

© Oliverio 
 (1-15-17)  

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Tuesday, January 17, 2017

The Happiest Man In America, Thanks To Donald Trump

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Former President George W. Bush
is eagerly counting down the days until
until Donald Trump's inauguration.

Bush said that he “could hardly wait”
until Friday, when he will be
offically bounced from
the worst president slot.

From 
The Borowitz Report

         
The first page
for President Trump is
here.        ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Monday, January 16, 2017

The Sad Side Of Laughter [HKu #31]

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Laughter of other people
is not funny when
you do not get
the joke. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
THE SAD SIDE OF LAUGHTER
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.

The next GoFather Haiku page is
here. 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Sunday, January 15, 2017

STREET ART UTOPIA (#28): Step This Way

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Vidar

The next
STREET ART UTOPIA
page is 
here. 
________________________________________________________________________________________________


His And Hers And No One Else's (Comic Relief #1560)

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Roz Chast

Both the Barsotti
and the Chast cartoons
are the discoveries of
my better half.

She is a true  New Yorker
Magazine personality.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________


The World's Most Common Investment (Comic Relief #1559)

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Charles Barsotti
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Saturday, January 14, 2017

Happy New Year To The Julianos!

________________________________________________________________________________________________

That is our name for followers
of the Julian calendar.


The New Year began on what is now–
in the Gregorian calendar–
January 14th.

To pledge allegiance to this calendar image,
one would have to be very antiquated
or very intoxicated.

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________


Another Poem By Ms. Anonymous

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Prepolice i'd
have felt the need
to walk to "Mickey d'"
to be, with you, you'd
be the sunlight I'd see
in spite of unexpected
"angery". But the deed
has need, not to be
washed in the tide
of time but to be
addressed with
words for me
to proceed
as is, as was

Anonymous

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Why I Sat In The Car

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Why I
Sat in the car
Because
I was told a man
Would pistol
Whip why
Women
Will wield
Rolling pins
And frying
flying
Pans
     
…and words


________________________________________________________________________________________________


The Dawn Of The City Speaks Of The Maw Of The Writer

________________________________________________________________________________________________

A writer's business is minding
other people's business...

Dawn Powell

Another quote:
I cannot live without
the oxygen of laughter.
________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
Footnotes
Some of the GodFather/Dawn Powell pages
have defunct hyperlinks but there are still
at least forty delicious pages dedicated to her,
beginning  here.  

I would like to thank my smarter half
for finding this image.

The next Dawn Powell page is
here. 
________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

For Art + Literature Aficionados Only: A Book Review

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Like the goriest of Goya
or a low rent Guernica,
where no horses are killed,
only humans.

Gulaged brothers fall
for a Jewish Goddess
but the camp guardians
treat her ungodly.

All in a book by a Brit,
surnamed famous,
I.e., Amis.

It is a novel
about thousands encamped
in an Arctic hovel.

Violence is banal happenstance
but love springs eternal
and death is dirty
and diurnal.

One can survive
but not the others
yet Russia is
the mother of mothers

Whose children are
naturally brawlin'
under the post-war
reign of Stalin.

Martin Amis 
House of Meetings

A QUOTE FROM 
p.92 OF THIS EDITION:

If God really cared about us,
he would never have given us
religion.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
FOR ART + LITERATURE AFICIONADOS ONLY...
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


The 76th Bullet: Taking An Ax To An Axiom

________________________________________________________________________________________________


Most people heed the axiom,
Don't Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth,
but there are a strange few who
will have the gift horse arrested.

________________________________________________________________________________________________
 Footnotes
THE 76th BULLET  is the copyrighted property of  LCSoL.

Only the first 45 Bullets are linked together
because we do not want to make life easy
for our favorite thieves.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Friday, January 13, 2017

This Is A Quote About Donald Trump

________________________________________________________________________________________________

From the day before
Friday The Thirteenth:

If You Are An Adversary Of The United States,
there is literally nothing that can make you happier than
a President-elect arriving in office eight days from now
at war with his intelligence community...
That is a dream come true if you wish
the United States ill.

Morning Joe




The next GoFather/Trump page is
here.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thursday, January 12, 2017

This Is Not A Quote From Donald Trump

________________________________________________________________________________________________

“It is good that we now all have clarity.”

Donald Trump did not utter these words. 
Were he to do so, his advisors would certainly
have to coach him on the correct pronunciation
of the word, clarity. 

But before identifying the source
of the quote, we must get symbolic.

Let us consider the estate of an eccentric loner who squirreled away  one  billion dollars worth of what we will call "Glignots."

Upon his death, the Glignots are willed to a collector in a foreign country. But a distant cousin of our eccentric loner contests the will claiming her eighty-one year-old cousin was mentally unfit.

When her challenge is rejected by the court, the President of the International Society of Glignots declares "It is good now that we all have clarity."

Case closed.
No one but members
of the Avaricious Cousin Society
would question the validity of the quote.

Our eccentric loner will rest in peace
and his gargantuan collection of Glignots
will be exhibited for all the world to see.

BUT NOW LET REALITY BE OUR GUIDE
***************************


To refer to Cornelius Gurlitt (pictured above) as an eccentric  loner would be serious understatement. But when the German man who lived alone and had no friends died at the age of eighty-one, he did will his multi-billion dollar collection of hoarded art to a Museum in Bern, Switzerland.


To refer to this collection as hoarded art would be understatement of the highest order and most worthy of serious head-scratching.

Cornelius inherited fourteen hundred pieces of art by the likes of Picasso, Cezanne, Matisse... from his father, Hildebrandt Gurlitt. 

In 1941, the elder Gurlitt was hand-picked by Joseph Goebbels to be "art dealer to the Fuhrer."

It was not for purely aesthetic reasons that Adolph Hitler had his own personal art dealer. It was primarily to generate funds for the Nazi cause. 

Does this mean that Hildebrandt would buy low and sell high?
Not necesarily.

Sometimes, the art was simply stolen or Gurlitt pere (or his goons) used gunpoint negotiating skills. It is no secret that the original owners of this art were members of the Jewish race.

Yet, when Hildebrandt died in 1956, there were more than fourteen hundred pieces of art still in his possession. All of them became the property of his son, Cornelius.  

All of this art was presumed missing until 2012 when it was discovered in a rundown Munich apartment where Cornelius lived alone with a bunch of cats and a whole lot of canvass.

The German Government vowed to return any piece of ill-gotten Gurlitt art to its rightful owners or their heirs.  At best, that vow is 95% hogwash.

The woman most responsible for that vow is the Culture Minister of Germany,  Monika Gruetters. 

When Cornelius Gurlitt died in 2014, he willed his entire art hoard to a museum in Switzerland. By today's art standards, it is worth over two billion dollars. 

Germany had much quicker results in resolving challenges to the will when Cornelius's distant cousin, Uta Werner,  lost her case on appeal last month. That is when Monika Gruetters said:

“It is good that we now all have clarity.”
        

I do not think clarity
would apply to any
of the rightful heirs
(literally thousands of people)
of the members of the Jewish race
who had their legally-owned art
stolen by the Nazis.


I do not think clarity
would apply to anyone
who believes in both 
aesthetic appreciation and JUSTICE
(probably more than six million people.)
        
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
This is the eleventh page involving Cornelius Gurlitt.

I do hope that whimsy does not totally obscure
clarity about a multi-generation billion dollar theft
effecting the entire globe.

A page related to this subject
was posted on
May 7, 2017

The first of the Gurlitt pages is
here.

The next of the Gurlitt pages is
there.

The next Trump page is
almost everywhere.
________________________________________________________________________________________________


Light Show For The Hamburger

________________________________________________________________________________________________


This picture shows the ELPHI Concert Hall
in Hamburg during its opening light show
on January 11, 2017.


Photographed by
John MacDougall


© Art Daily
Best Photos of the Day
1-12-17 

[The caption is edited]  


________________________________________________________________________________________________