 |
| © Oliverio |
If Tina Turner
was shrubbery
she would still glow
She would still have
a fire down below
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Wednesday, August 30, 2017
Hypothesizing And Fantasizing About Tina Turner
________________________________________________________________________________________________
If Tina Turner
was shrubbery
she would still glow
She would still have
a fire down below
________________________________________________________________________________________________
If Tina Turner
was shrubbery
she would still glow
She would still have
a fire down below
________________________________________________________________________________________________
A Collage Of Cousin Joe
________________________________________________________________________________________________
I may not be Montgomery Clift
But I've been from here to eternity
to find my place in the sun
Life Is A One Way Ticket
 |
| His birth name was Pleasant Joseph |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Tuesday, August 29, 2017
MAD Politics ... From Both Sides Now ... (Comic Relief #1878)
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| MAD Magazine |
 |
| The next MAD Magazine page is Somewhere else The next GoFather/Trump page is here The song referenced in the title, sung by a beautiful "cover girl" is always worth a good listen especially because the singer did sleep in the Lincoln Bedroom while Bill Clinton slept under the same roof. |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Ode To An Unknown Artist And His Ephemeral Art
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Did the artist
call you
Sandman
or
Sidewinder
or
Mr. Stripey
???
No name
is
out of reach
Such is life
on
the beach
Flags were raised
when
you were born
Sand, art
and
whimsy
are
nothing to scorn
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| Artist Unknown |
Did the artist
call you
Sandman
or
Sidewinder
or
Mr. Stripey
???
No name
is
out of reach
Such is life
on
the beach
Flags were raised
when
you were born
Sand, art
and
whimsy
are
nothing to scorn
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Saturday, August 26, 2017
From The SHOE MUSEUM But ... Not For Foot Fetishists Only
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| Meret Oppenheim Mein Kindermadchen (My Nanny) To see more Oppenheim artwork, please click here |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Shocking Discovery About Edvard Munch's The Scream
________________________________________________________________________________________________
has determined that the original title
of this famous painting
was:
A Day in the Life of a Married Man
 |
| Edvard Munch (1893) |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thursday, August 24, 2017
Please Please Please ... Help Cure My Chapter -2-itis
________________________________________________________________________________________________
I consider myself a great novelist
If only I could get past
the first chapter.
It most recently happened a week ago
THE IMAGINARY NUMBER,
in an earlier incarnation, is nearly
seventy pages long but presently
it exists only as Chapter 1.
HYDRAULIC UNIVERSITY
fits the same description.
A very early example
of this disease dates back
to February of 2013:
NUNA AND THE SHOVEL
was subtitled Chapter 1
but that is as far as it got.
The following February, the same fate
(minus the subtitle) befell
THE PSYCHIATRIST'S PATIENT.
The question arises:
How can YOU help me
overcome the disease of
Chapter-2-itis?
All you have to do is read
what each of the links provide
then respond—on this page—
to the ones (hopefully all of them)
that you like and want more of.
Even if you have to pretend
to like them, you may also
pretend to hold a gun
to my head to get me
off my lazy ass and
finally complete
the stories or,
at least, write
Chapter 2.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
I consider myself a great novelist
If only I could get past
the first chapter.
It most recently happened a week ago
THE IMAGINARY NUMBER,
in an earlier incarnation, is nearly
seventy pages long but presently
it exists only as Chapter 1.
HYDRAULIC UNIVERSITY
fits the same description.
A very early example
of this disease dates back
to February of 2013:
NUNA AND THE SHOVEL
was subtitled Chapter 1
but that is as far as it got.
The following February, the same fate
(minus the subtitle) befell
THE PSYCHIATRIST'S PATIENT.
The question arises:
How can YOU help me
overcome the disease of
Chapter-2-itis?
All you have to do is read
what each of the links provide
then respond—on this page—
to the ones (hopefully all of them)
that you like and want more of.
Even if you have to pretend
to like them, you may also
pretend to hold a gun
to my head to get me
off my lazy ass and
finally complete
the stories or,
at least, write
Chapter 2.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Nervously, In The Dream, I Awaken
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Nervously, in the dream
I awaken in front of a wall:
The bricks had not been
glued together
Nervously, in the dream
I just escaped death
by collapsing bricks
Only to learn
each brick was
a solid gold bar
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| © Oliverio |
Nervously, in the dream
I awaken in front of a wall:
The bricks had not been
glued together
Nervously, in the dream
I just escaped death
by collapsing bricks
Only to learn
each brick was
a solid gold bar
________________________________________________________________________________________________
CarPeo Set Piece #74 ... August 6, 2017 →The Droolsweeper
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| © Mrs. CarPeo The man with the broom He looks disinterested but his important work happens after the greatest excitement occurs for Angel Stadium fans. That excitement has nothing to do with what the Angels baseball team does on the field. It happens when the girls appear on the sidelines with guns and hot bodies. The guns shoot t-shirts into the stands. The girls also throw baseballs to the fans. After the hot bodies leave the field and after the game ends, the man with the broom goes up into the seating sections and cleans the drool left behind by all the fans who dreamt of the "Strikeforce Girls" removing their own shirts (and shorts) instead of shooting stupid t-shirts into the air. |
 |
| The next CarPeo Set Piece is here ________________________________________________________________________________________________ |
Either Whie Driving Or Looking In The Mirror
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| Harry Nilsson
Driving along you can spot all the problems
on faces so tired of facing each other Each day they grow farther and farther away from each other  |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Wednesday, August 23, 2017
1960 Song Predicting Donald Trump
________________________________________________________________________________________________
You talk too much
You worry me to death
You talk too much
You even worry my breath
 |
| We are not nation building again. We are killing terrorists. The next GoFather/Trump page is here. |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Broadening [HKu #43]
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Travel broadens the mind.
Lack of travel broadens
imagination.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Lack of travel broadens
imagination.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
BROADENING is the copyrighted property
of the Lewis Carroll School of Logic.
of the Lewis Carroll School of Logic.
The next GoFather Haiku page is
here.
here.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Tuesday, August 22, 2017
Un-Titled [HKu #42]
________________________________________________________________________________________________
It is not impossible
to hate loneliness
and love solitude.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
to hate loneliness
and love solitude.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
UN-TITLED is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.
The next GoFather Haiku page is
here.
here.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Monday, August 21, 2017
The Imaginary Number
________________________________________________________________________________________________
“Iiiiiits fakkkk toreee tiiiime.”
Her words were muffled by a mouthful of chocolate zucchini pancakes.
All I could say was Dominus Vobiscum. I bowed and the spatula in my hand made an air crucifix: vertical from head to waist then horizontal from shoulder to shoulder.
All Caroline could say was Dominuth Nabithco Crackers.
The patented Chocolate Zucchini Pancake recipe is the reason I rise with the Rooster on Sunday mornings. But it is his mother who gets him—and her—back to sleep.
We will celebrate his birthday this week.
Raymond
“The Rooster” Samuels will be one hundred days old on Wednesday. His
mother will place one hundred imaginary candles in a bowl of pastina.
I rise with the Rooster on Sunday mornings in August.
I rise with the Rooster on Sunday mornings in August.
It
was 5:15 AM and the birthday boy and my smarter half will sleep until
the other half of the Samuels family returns from White Sulphur Springs.
The kitchen became my temporary kingdom: I sliced and diced a zucchini, a Hershey bar and tofu but the walnuts were minced pre-packaged nuts.
All of this gets blended into a Duncan Hines Pancake mix.
After her father repeats the name Nina Simone three times, Caroline strolls into the kitchen. My ten year old daughter will not speak until there is food in her mouth.
The kitchen became my temporary kingdom: I sliced and diced a zucchini, a Hershey bar and tofu but the walnuts were minced pre-packaged nuts.
All of this gets blended into a Duncan Hines Pancake mix.
After her father repeats the name Nina Simone three times, Caroline strolls into the kitchen. My ten year old daughter will not speak until there is food in her mouth.
I
prefer it that way because ignoring her is the best cure for a
hangover. But after she says “Iiiiiits fakkkk toreee tiiiime” she washes
the dishes, gets dressed...then we drive sixty-one miles across state
lines.
We live in Virginia where the churches do not welcome a Christian man married to a Jewish woman. Especially if the man believes a Bible is less important for his children than Alice In Wonderland.
Even more so when the Jewish woman is half-black.
We live in Virginia where the churches do not welcome a Christian man married to a Jewish woman. Especially if the man believes a Bible is less important for his children than Alice In Wonderland.
Even more so when the Jewish woman is half-black.
But
St. Charles Catholic Church in White Sulphur Springs does not require
me to fill out a questionnaire before sitting in a pew. The church is in
West Virginia. It is sixty-one miles from Livingston, VA. Most of those
miles are driven in cruise control. The rest of them are descended from
Blue Ridge Heaven.
For
the entire distance, I am an audience of one but the performer,
charismatic Caroline Samuels, speaks without food in her mouth.
Unusual ideas naturally descend from the mouths of babes when the first bedside book read to the babe is The History of Math and Religion.
But the book was read by the author (Arlisha Rosenblatt Samuels) or the author's husband (me.)
Five hundred years later,
Unusual ideas naturally descend from the mouths of babes when the first bedside book read to the babe is The History of Math and Religion.
But the book was read by the author (Arlisha Rosenblatt Samuels) or the author's husband (me.)
Pythagoras was pre-eminent in dovetailing
Math and Religion when he postulated
the simple Geometric truth:
The shortest distance between
any two points is a straight line.
His followers visualized the Gods
looking down on earth where all humans
were mere dots, that is, points on a surface.
The straight line symbolized communication
but the cultural result of the Pythagoreans'
existence was extermination.
Each and everyone of them
was slaughtered by a mob of plebians.
Five hundred years later,
Jesus Christ used the word
Love instead of Communication.
Effectively, he said
"All you need is love"
and he too was exterminated.
Nearly two thousand years after that,
John Lennon used music (which is merely
the most beautiful form of applied mathematics)
to convey the same thing.
He too was exterminated.
***
The History of Math and Religion was on the New York Times bestseller list for more than a year. The author and her husband agreed to not have another child but when we celebrated Caroline's ninth birthday in White Sulfur Springs, Raymond was conceived.
Be that as it may, the Sunday morning audience of one had his car in cruise control and his ears were wide open. The performer explained what she meant by her pancake flavored phrase: "fakkkk toreee tiiiime."
We are going to one of the factories that mass produces spiritual comfort. Many of these factories are Christian, others are built for Buddhists or Jews or Hindus. They are called churches or temples or mosques. The mass quantity of people who visit these factories are all in need of the same thing: spiritual comfort.
Like automobiles and air conditioners, spiritual comfort is a product but it is not produced by an assembly line. It is produced by the aura of the church or the temple. It is delivered instantly to the customers who are better known as the congregation. There is no middleman and payment is determined by how much you put into a collection plate or basket.
There are basically three factory bosses but we never see them. Their foremen–or forewomen–are called pastors or rabbis. They tell us stories about their bosses, whose names are Buddah, Allah, and ..."
"Jesus," says the man in the audience.
"Correct, he is our chosen Boss. Did you know that he had an agent
named Otto who believed a wardrobe change was necessary."
"Otto? Never heard of him."
"Otto became his agent when Jesus was a teenager, walking around
with his posse..."
"Don't you mean disciples?"
"Whatever. Jesus famously wore yellow bloomers."
"I thought only girls wore bloomers."
"I'm glad you're still capable of thinking, Daddy."
"Thank you, Caroline."
"Anyway, Otto said to Jesus: Lose the bloomers, Jake
Wear this loincloth. History will treat you much better."
"Jake?"
"That was Otto's pet name for Jesus."
"Did Jesus have a pet name for Otto?"
"Yes. He called him Toe. As in,
Toe, which way do I go?"
"What the hell did that mean?"
"Golgotha might have been a NO-go-tha,
if it weren't for Otto."
"I know Golgotha is where the crucifixtion
took place but what did Otto
have to do with that?"
"The Crucifixtion nearly took place,
somewhere south of Jerusalem but
Otto objected because the image
of Jesus carrying the crucifix
would have shown Jesus' weak side."
"Weak side?"
"Yes. The public was better off not seeing
the side of Jesus' face that had acne.
Jesus might not have looked like
a savior if he had too many zits."
"What are you going to tell me
next: Pontius Pilate wanted to give
pimple cream to the executed man?"
"Maybe I will tell you about that
next week but the church is too close
to hear to begin that story."
END OF CHAPTER ONE.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Be that as it may, the Sunday morning audience of one had his car in cruise control and his ears were wide open. The performer explained what she meant by her pancake flavored phrase: "fakkkk toreee tiiiime."
We are going to one of the factories that mass produces spiritual comfort. Many of these factories are Christian, others are built for Buddhists or Jews or Hindus. They are called churches or temples or mosques. The mass quantity of people who visit these factories are all in need of the same thing: spiritual comfort.
Like automobiles and air conditioners, spiritual comfort is a product but it is not produced by an assembly line. It is produced by the aura of the church or the temple. It is delivered instantly to the customers who are better known as the congregation. There is no middleman and payment is determined by how much you put into a collection plate or basket.
There are basically three factory bosses but we never see them. Their foremen–or forewomen–are called pastors or rabbis. They tell us stories about their bosses, whose names are Buddah, Allah, and ..."
"Jesus," says the man in the audience.
"Correct, he is our chosen Boss. Did you know that he had an agent
named Otto who believed a wardrobe change was necessary."
"Otto? Never heard of him."
"Otto became his agent when Jesus was a teenager, walking around
with his posse..."
"Don't you mean disciples?"
"Whatever. Jesus famously wore yellow bloomers."
"I thought only girls wore bloomers."
"I'm glad you're still capable of thinking, Daddy."
"Thank you, Caroline."
"Anyway, Otto said to Jesus: Lose the bloomers, Jake
Wear this loincloth. History will treat you much better."
"Jake?"
"That was Otto's pet name for Jesus."
"Did Jesus have a pet name for Otto?"
"Yes. He called him Toe. As in,
Toe, which way do I go?"
"What the hell did that mean?"
"Golgotha might have been a NO-go-tha,
if it weren't for Otto."
"I know Golgotha is where the crucifixtion
took place but what did Otto
have to do with that?"
"The Crucifixtion nearly took place,
somewhere south of Jerusalem but
Otto objected because the image
of Jesus carrying the crucifix
would have shown Jesus' weak side."
"Weak side?"
"Yes. The public was better off not seeing
the side of Jesus' face that had acne.
Jesus might not have looked like
a savior if he had too many zits."
"What are you going to tell me
next: Pontius Pilate wanted to give
pimple cream to the executed man?"
"Maybe I will tell you about that
next week but the church is too close
to hear to begin that story."
END OF CHAPTER ONE.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnote
THE IMAGINARY NUMBER is the copyrighted property
of the Lewis Carroll School of Logic.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
THE IMAGINARY NUMBER is the copyrighted property
of the Lewis Carroll School of Logic.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Sunday, August 20, 2017
Photoverio © (#266): The Rose Knows
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| © Oliverios The Power of Pink |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
CarPeo Set Piece #73 ... August 6, 2017
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| © Mrs. CarPeo Sunday at Angel Stadium The next CarPeo Set Piece (also from Angel Stadium) is here. |
Friday, August 18, 2017
CarPeo Set Piece #72 ... En Route To Apartment G
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| © Mrs. CarPeo Through the garden slowly The next CarPeo Set Piece is here |
Thursday, August 17, 2017
I Do Feel The Same Way About Your Post-Humous Novel, Ernest
________________________________________________________________________________________________
"How are you? Are you all right?"
"Very well. I'm reading this book."
"How is it?"
"I can't tell you til day after tomorrow.
I'm reading it slowly to make it last."
The Garden of Eden
 |
| Hemingway died in 1961. This book was published in 1986. The quote is from p.170 of this edition. |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Wednesday, August 16, 2017
CarPeo Set Piece #71 ... Thermal Attraction
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| © Mrs. CarPeo He was with another Woman, so I shot both of them and thermalized the evidence The next CarPeo Set Piece is here |
CarPeo Set Piece #70 ... Her Hat + My Leg
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| © Mrs. CarPeo Sunday at the Ballpark The next CarPeo Set Piece is here |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
Between the two of us, fifty pictures
were taken at Angel Stadium on August 6, 2017.
My two favorite pictures are this one
and that one.
Both images emphasize
our party of three
and de-emphasize
the action on the field.
So be it.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Between the two of us, fifty pictures
were taken at Angel Stadium on August 6, 2017.
My two favorite pictures are this one
and that one.
Both images emphasize
our party of three
and de-emphasize
the action on the field.
So be it.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Otherwise Known As ... Just Admit You Did Something Stupid
________________________________________________________________________________________________
The only thing worse than behaving
irrational and erratic
is believing your behavior
is rational and perfectly
normal.
Footnotes
The subtitle of this page is
"THE 80th BULLET"
and it is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.
The subtitle of this page is
"THE 80th BULLET"
and it is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.
Only the first 45 Bullets are linked together
because we do not want to make life easy
for our favorite thieves.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Sunday, August 13, 2017
Somewhere Under And Somewhere Within
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| © Mrs. CarPeo SOMEWHERE UNDER THE RAINBOW is Paul |
 |
| © Oliverio SOMEWHERE INSIDE THE RAINBOW a guitarist is frozen in time |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
From An Essay About Scott Fitzgerald
________________________________________________________________________________________________
The best writing
never makes the reader feel
never makes the reader feel
like they’re reading.
It gives them an experience,
It gives them an experience,
transports them,
black ink on white parchment
black ink on white parchment
acting as teleporter to new realms,
feelings, emotions, truths.
Paging F. Scott Fitzgerald:
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Poorly Quality Reproductions From The MADropolitan Museum
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| JARED KUSHNER: THE BIRTH OF TREASON by James Warhola approximating Sandro Botticelli |
 |
| GIRL WITH THE REALLY EXPENSIVE LINE OF EARRINGS by Roberto Parada approximating Johannes Vermeer |
 |
| DONALD'S WORLD by Mark Fredrickson approximating Andrew Wyeth |
 |
| High quality reproductions available from MAD Magazine October, 2017 |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Friday, August 11, 2017
If And When It Happens [HKu #41]
________________________________________________________________________________________________
When money is staring
you in the face,
don't give it
the evil eye.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
you in the face,
don't give it
the evil eye.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
IF AND WHEN IT HAPPENS
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.
The next GoFather Haiku page is
here.
here.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thursday, August 10, 2017
About That Wallpaper in Woody Allen's Stardust Memories
________________________________________________________________________________________________
This is a scene from
Woody Allen's film
Stardust Memories
(1980)
That is a partial list
of the cast from
HEAD
The surrealistic and psychedelic 1968 film about the Monkees
was co-written
by Jack Nicholson.
Because HEAD features
actual footage of that
shocking image from
VietNam, the names of
both executioner and
This is a scene from
Woody Allen's film
Stardust Memories
(1980)
of the cast from
HEAD
The surrealistic and psychedelic 1968 film about the Monkees
was co-written
by Jack Nicholson.
Because HEAD features
actual footage of that
shocking image from
VietNam, the names of
both executioner and
the executed are listed.
Both HEAD and Stardust Memories, however, qualify as comedies.
________________________________________________________________________________________________Tuesday, August 8, 2017
Sheep Talk (Comic Relief #1854)
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| Dave Coverly |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Chair And Share Alike ... [ pST #23]
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Reading the fine print
 |
| © Oliverio This must be Love
Superimposed Text page
The p in the title
stands for
photoverio |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Miller's Analogy Test Question For The MODERN STUDENT
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Anger is to Intelligence as:
A) Sunshine is to an ice cube
B) Sunshine is to an ice sculpture
C) Sunshine is to ice
D) Any of the above
: : : : : : : :
: : : : : : : :
The MODERN STUDENT is defined
as one who is easily offended
by incorrect answers.
The MAT is to the SAT
as Lightning is to the Lightning Bug.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Photoverio © (#265): The Former Gas Mask Said ...
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| © Oliverio We can't go on meeting like this The next "We can't go on" page is here |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Monday, August 7, 2017
See No Evil (Comic Relief #1850)
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| Winsor McKay To measure the influence of Mr. McKay on modern comic art is to measure an interplanetary distance |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Sunday, August 6, 2017
Take Me Out To The Ballpark
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Play on, sweet Lord
the tune I
once knew as
lullabye
On a field
divine
twixt two
white lines
The names change
and always the score
has one with less
the other, more
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Saturday, August 5, 2017
Pigeon English ... Remembering Lost Love Ones [ pST #22]
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| © Oliverio For those who have forgotten the Exxon Valdez
The next
Superimposed Text page
is
TBD
The p in the title
stands for
photoverio |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Friday, August 4, 2017
One More From The NEZ ... With Chopsticks And A Backbeat
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Chow mein and bowling
Twinkies and champagne
Moon over McDonald’s
Frozen pizza in the rain
In the rain
Twinkies and champagne
Moon over McDonald’s
Frozen pizza in the rain
In the rain
Dancing in the dump truck
Dining with the dog
Laughing in the bathtub
With a ducky and a frog
Dining with the dog
Laughing in the bathtub
With a ducky and a frog
Stake me to an anthill
Shoot me to the moon
Without you I am no one
Like a burger with no bun
I can’t go on
Shoot me to the moon
Without you I am no one
Like a burger with no bun
I can’t go on
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thursday, August 3, 2017
From The Seal Beach Pier ... [ pST #21]
________________________________________________________________________________________________
 |
| © Oliverio Rod and Reel and Rodrigos
The next
Superimposed Text page
The p in the title
stands for
photoverio |
________________________________________________________________________________________________
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