If Only What If ... Wasn't What Is ... We'd Be Less Traumatized

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A popular cliche
"The bull in the China shop"

is easy to visualize

But what if the China shop

were actually

the United States of America

and the bull was actually

the manager

of that China shop

???

Not only is that

easy to envision,

it is the reality of 

the Trump-o-sphere

 

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Footnotes

IF ONLY ... WHAT IF ... WASN'T ... WHAT IS
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL 

The next GoFather/Trump

page is

here

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28th Day Of Black History Month ... "No Further Investigation" ...

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LOUIE LOUIE

began innocently enough

on the backside of

You are My Sunshine

 "Backside"
means B-side 
or Flip Side
(as the label suggests)

RICHARD BERRY
wrote Louie Louie
 in 1955
which was the year after
he sang lead
(uncredited)
on the infamous
Riot in Cell Block #9 

That same year,
Richard wrote
a funnier version
of Riot entitled
The Big Break 

But Richard's big break
as a composer
came in 1963 when
the KINGSMEN
recorded
Louie Louie

And the lyrics
sounded obscene

If you multiplied
1954 x 1963
the result would be
equal to the number
of teenagers
(and other living things)
 who heard those dirty lyrics

But the FBI
proved otherwise
on page fifty-six
of a one hundred nineteen page
investigation
 

The only difference between
the composer's lyrics
and what the Kingsmen sang
is AWAY WE GO*
was replaced with
WE GOTTA GO

Feel free to prove me wrong
by listening to
Richard Berry's Louie Louie
back-to-back with
the Kingsmen's Louie Louie
     
The title of this page
is taken from the last sentence
of the FBI investigation.

The person to whom
this page is dedicated
is, of course,
RICHARD BERRY

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Footnotes
* Actually, Richard used the words 
"Me gotta go."

It behooves me to end 
the Black History Month pages
with a link to
Civil Rights Heroes
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26th Day Of Black History Month ... Adversity As Springboard

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MALCOLM X
born: May 19, 1925
died: February 21, 1965
 ***
The musical interpretation
of this quote
is a song by
Louis Jordan 

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Recommended For Students Of ... Art, History, Or Wrestling

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The article is
here

It includes a link
to a preview
of the film

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Cousin Of The Beast ... Also Known As ... 666 Divided By Two

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333

is not

The Prince of Darkness

333

is

The Duke of Bad Lighting

***

FRANCES STEERLING 

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Footnote
This quote is the copyrighted property of LCSoL
and Frances Steerling

The next Steerling quote is
here

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LASSIE Arrives In The 21st Century (Comic Relief #2138)

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Farley Katz

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A Question ≈ ≈ ≈ Asked By ≈ ≈ ≈ The Same German "Philosopher"

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Does writing render one

more perceptive

or more insane

???

W. G. SEBALD

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And Now For A Few Words From ... A Great German Philosopher

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Brazil owes its name

to the French word

for charcoal

...  

Combustion is the hidden principle

behind every artifact we create. 

The making of a fish-hook,

manufacture of a china cup,

or production of a television program, 

all depend on the same

process of combustion. 

Like our bodies and like our desires,

the machines we have devised

are possessed of a heart which

is slowly reduced to embers.

W.G. SEBALD

The Rings of Saturn
***

Another quote
from Sebald is
here 

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The 98th Bullet: Half Of It Is Half-Footnoted

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Human beings,
despite regarding themselves
as a Superior Species,
are nothing more than
God's trivial pursuit.

***

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And now that we are
in the Trump-o-sphere,
God has never been happier
because He has never
laughed so loud
nor cried so wet.

His favorite news story
is subtitled
Will Trump Dump the Bump? 


Footnotes

THE 98th BULLET 
is the copyrighted property of  LCSoL.
 
Only the first 45 Bullets are linked together
because we do not want to make life easy
for our favorite thieves.

The next GoFather/Trump page
is  here 
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Church News + News About The Idiot God = Onion + Borowitz

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Warning:
This report
from ONION NEWS
leaves no expletive
un-deleted.
 ***
This report is dedicated to
the bedroom town
of Upper UpScalia
in Westchester County 
***

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++
++++++++++++++++++++++++

 Read about
President Tweety
by clicking
here
***

Does Donald Trump
look so sad because
he has to share the image
with a Chevy truck
???

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Footnotes
The next GoFather/Trump page is
half-footnoted
here

The next Borowitz page is  Cyberspatial

The Institute of Inane Research has determined
that Ohio-born Andy Borowitz
is the love child of
DAWN POWELL

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22nd Day of B. H. Month ... From Tennessee To The Smithsonian

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Penn Station at Wartime

The artist's name is
JOSEPH DELANEY

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Footnote
The next Black History Month page
is  TBD

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22nd Day of Black History Month: Six Days In Advance

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Love is a clown
That always fools around
Tears and laughter 

Are sure to be found

Frankie Lymon And The Teenagers
(1956)

Last week, it was my privilege
to watch a 45 minute interview
with  the surviving Teenagers,
Jimmy Merchant and Herman Santiago 

They are both alive and well in 2018

Two thousand and eighteen
 may also be 
how many times
they sang
Love is a Clown
BUT

It might be more accurate
to say that
two million and eighteen
is how many times
WHY DO FOOLS FALL IN LOVE
—their signature song—
has been recorded or performed
or exploited or poeticized
...

However,
Jimmy and Herman
would have been
nothing more than 
music trivia's delight
if 
FRANKIE LYMON
had never existed

But Frankie died
the same year as
Martin Luther King

The last day of this
Black History Month
will be
the 50th Anniversary
of Frankie Lymon's
departure

He died on
February 28, 1968

  

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Footnote
This series continues
here _______________________________________________________________________________________________

A Classic Example Of ... Bad Photography

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Six reasons why that →

is a bad photograph

1. Oversized dark triangle

in lower right area.

2. Too much glaring

white space.

3. The people in one-fourth

of the image deserve to be

in a "still-life" photo.

4. Some airbrushing

would have helped.

5. Disorienting sense

of parallel ingredients.

6. There is no sense

of place. That is,

What is beyond

the borders

of this image?

***************

The last reason begins with italics 

because it may not be a valid criticism.

But as the photographer responsible

for this image, I will tell you what

was immediately beyond

the subject matter:

A smoking section

convenient to the world-class

Sunday Brunch aboard

the Queen Mary.

The photographer,

under the influence

of six glasses of champage,

was mentally preparing his next dish:

more oysters, proscuitto, brisket,

fresh shrimp and canteloupe.

Meanwhile, Mrs CarPeo—

the recipient of a belated Valentine's Gift—

was busy brunching with Mimosas,

mozzarella balls, prime rib and salmon.

Her next dish was some

select combination

of five deliciosos

from this menu →

     

 

 

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Footnotes
"Before one can take GOOD photographs,
one must learn how to not take BAD photographs"
- Frances Steerling

This quote is the copyrighted page of LCSol
and Frances Steerling

The top image is the copyrighted property of LCSoL

The next Steerling quote is  here
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Not An Abstract Painting But ... X ... Marks The Spot Elsewhere

________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was originally an aerial view
of the road leading to
Friendship Beach
on Long Island.

If it were the actual beach,
the entire caption
(excepting the first line)
would be in this water:

On the companion image
for the "abstraction,"
X
marks the spot
where I lived
for twenty-five years
⬇︎

I could easily spend
twenty-five years
with the memories
—real and abstracted—
of the three images
on this page.  

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Footnotes
I would like to thank NICK LOMANGINO
for providing me with
the two aerial images. 

The middle photo,
taken in 2006,
and is the copyrighted property
of Lewis Carroll School of Logic.
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The 97th Bullet: They Lurk Behind The Soap

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If cleanliness is next to Godliness,
atheists gather in her shadow.

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 Footnotes

THE 97th BULLET 
is the copyrighted property of  LCSoL.
 
Only the first 45 Bullets are linked together
because we do not want to make life easy
for our favorite thieves.
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These Quotes Are So Good ... The New York Review Of Books ...

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Made them into a set of Playing Cards

(or Gift Cards, if you're not that clever)

Each deck (or set) includes duplicates

of 25 of the greatest literary quotes  

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Catnip Mystery (Comic Relief #2127)

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Harry Bliss

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A Poem By Frances Steerling

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It felt like happiness

But it could have been the shoes

Spit-shined for the occasion

Or it could have been the hat

Perfectly angled for the occasion

The shoes?

The hat?

My vertical bookends
 

The chrome dome makes the man

She said

Flinging the hat across the room

A beret is a French frisbee

She said

It landed on St. Anthony

She called that table

Saints Without Candles.
 

Joy awaited with arms outstretched

Happiness has passed the torch.

Neither the shoes 

Nor the hat:

It was her.

***

FRANCES STEERLING
(1965) 

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Footnote
All poems and quotes from Frances Steerling
are the copyrighted property of LCSoL
and Frances Steerling

A page inspired by a footnoted quote
from Mr. Steerling is
here   ________________________________________________________________________________________________

Photoverio #287: Plus Signs In The Sky

________________________________________________________________________________________________

© Oliverios
Newport Sunday w/Pat and Barry
(2/11/18) 

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Some Brits Sat Around A Table Talking ... One Of Them Said ...

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"I remember one of those American TV shows

—you know, we solve your emotional

and sexual problems by putting you

in front of a studio audience

and making a spectacle

out of you,

and sending the audience home

feeling very glad they are not you."

JULIAN BARNES

At Phil and Joanna's #3  

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If Everything Cost An Arm And A JPEG

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Fear today,

gone tomorrow

when joy dances

the tarantella

on your skull

then anxiety

mops the floor

before getting

google-eyed

over a broomstick

Mumbo jumbo-

jet stream-

of conch shell

can hear the sound

of the seaweed

while hobby horses

become addicted

to ping pong

But you can't

judge a book by

its lover 

 ***

PAUL OLVERIO

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Footnote 

IF EVERYTHING COST

AN ARM AND A JPEG 

is the copyrighted property

of the Lewis Carroll

School of Logic

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This Show Should Be Required Listening For All Sentient Beings

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News Item:

Russia has threatened

to boycott the Olympics

***

Sarah Huckabee Sanders, for some reason, 

floated the idea that the U.S. 

wouldn't participate in the Olympics either,

because if Putin doesn't go,

Trump won't have anyone to talk to.

***

WAIT WAIT, DON'T TELL ME

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Footnotes

The next GoFather/Trump page is  here

Part of the reason she is my smarter half:
Mrs. CarPeo introduced me
—despite my resistance—
to WWDTM  

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Despite Appearances ... She Is The Biggest Queen In Long Beach

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Ten cars dominate

the foreground of this image.

 

WHAT IF

each of these vehicles transported

sixteen hundred passengers

???

not six in each car

not sixteen in each car
but
sixteen hundred
in each car  

You would have to stretch

your imagination beyond infinity

to envision this possibility.

***

Pretend you could see this happening

in July, 2018.

 ***

The total human population

of this hallucination would,

however, be less than

the actual number of passengers

transported together 

across the Atlantic Ocean by

 the dwarfed ship in the background

of this image.

***

Actually that happened 

in July, 1943   

***
 

World War II was in peak form

at that time and the Queen Mary

had been put into service.

Denuded of its status

as a luxury cruise ship,

the Queen Mary was neutered

with a fresh coat of drab grey paint

and transported soldiers into battle.

In the course of the war,

hundreds of thousands

of soldiers were ferried

across the Atlantic

on the numerous

military missions

of the Queen Mary.

In July, 1943

a record was set

when a total of 16,683 people

sailed across the ocean

on the QM

There is nothing hallucinatory

or photoshoppy about the image below

from seventy-four years ago.

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Photoverio #286: Midnight Reflecting Pond Unreflected

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© Oliverio
View From LB Symphony Hall

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8th Day of Black History Month: A Poem By Ted Joans

________________________________________________________________________________________________

TED JOANS

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Footnote
The next page in this series
is  here.

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Instead Of THE EMMYS ...Why Not Call It ... THE ENEMYS

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Watching the news last night

and flicking between

MSNBC, Fox, and CNN,

and I thought to myself

President Trump never won an Emmy

for ‘The Apprentice,’

but he should be winning an Emmy now.

It is riveting television now.

ALEX GANSA

Mr. Gansa created Homeland
(The TV show, not the Security Agency)

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Footnotes
Season Seven of HOMELAND
premieres on Sunday, February 11.

This season will be set in Washington DC.

President Obama will probably watch it.

President Trump will probably tweet it.  

Correction
The President who gives us the DTs
will definitely tweet it.

The next GoFather/Trump page
is  here.
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The Ultimate V-Word

________________________________________________________________________________________________

As you age,
vanity becomes less a vice
and almost its opposite:
a moral requirement.

≈JULIAN BARNES≈

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Footnote
The next Julian Barnes quote
is
________________________________________________________________________________________________

HOW DO YOU FIGURE ... The Patriots Were So Easily Duped ...

________________________________________________________________________________________________

"How Do you Figure"
were the simple but brilliant words
spoken by announcer
AL MICHAELS
in response to 
the most

remarkable touchdown in
the 52-year history of Superbowls.

The Patriots were so easily duped 
are the words approximately spoken
by a gazillion people in response
to  the Philadelphia Eagles' quarterback
catching a touchdown pass
on a fourth-down play

There are easily
one thousand and one words
    necessary to fully explain
and give proper credit
for the resounding success
of a trick play
known as
THE PHILLY SPECIAL 

But the GoFather of Math
will use only
101 (± x) words:

The most extraordinary play
of a most extraordinary game
was based on DECEPTION
 and my favorite deceptive moment
involved what  NICK FOLES did
for one full second
as soon as the ball
was snapped:

He did absolutely nothing
but stand there
like an idle observer
while being ignored
by the entire defense
of The New England Patriots.

Since
The writers for ESPN
are better paid than I am,

I will end this page

with their words:

 The play calls for quarterback Nick Foles to move up to the line of scrimmage and basically act as if he's checking his phone. It calls for a direct snap to running back Corey Clement, a pitch to tight end Trey Burton and a pass from Burton to Foles -- assuming the New England Patriots had forgotten about Foles. Which they had, because who would think to cover him?

 

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Footnotes
 In simple football lingo, this miraculous play
resulted in a touchdown thrown by the tight end
to the quarterback.

In GodFather of Math lingo,
this was a Through the Looking Glass

touchdown from the Lewis Carroll playbook.
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