A Poem By TED JOANS

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TED JOANS

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That's How We Got Mosquitos And Phlegm

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!!!

SCHILLER

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Bo Diddley In Washington Square Park With Deleteable Advert

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WILLIE NILE

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Sign Language

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A question mark

in disguise

© Oliverio

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The First Page Of A Mrs. CarPeo Story

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Written + Illustrated

by Mrs. CarPeo

© Mrs. CarPeo ©

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Dr. Rorschach, I Have Trouble Crossing The Street

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When I step into

the crosswalk,

all these strange figures

are looking up at me

© Oliverio

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ANDY BOROWITZ And The Ass Of An Asset

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The Borowitz Report

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The Appointment (Comic Relief #5012)

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Could it be

the wrong apartment?

MICK STEVENS

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The World According To NEIL HOOS

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New York, New York

© NEIL HOOS ©

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When TELLING A LIE Was No Longer Possible

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The Masters Of The Universe

—being Amazon,  Hollywood, Apple, 

Fox News,  BBC, Izvestia, et al—

had a brainstorming session

about all the boxing

and wrestling matches

featuring the elusive concept

known as THE TRUTH

 

They decided that no one

—in any country, at any time—

should ever tell another lie

:::

Every citizen on Planet Earth

rejoiced and patted

himself or herself

on the back

for becoming

purveyors of Truth

and nothing else

All forms of the words

"to lie"

were evicted from 

the dictionaries

of every language

 

However, 

the behavior of all humans

remained exactly the same

BUT 

no one 

could be accused 

of lying

 

Like sugar and spice

and all things nice,

humans everywhere

did nothing more than 

"FLAVOR the truth"

 

How yummy it was

when a citizen could 

flavor the truth 

in such a way

as to have most of

the neighbors' money

in his (or her) pocket

 

Naturally, a good percentage

of that yummy money

was given to

The Masters Of The Universe

***

©  PAUL OLIVERIO  ©

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It's Still On Life Support (Comic Relief #5009)

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Today is Earth Day

Please be kind

to our planet

today

[and every day]

GARY LARSON

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A Natural Foreground For Long Beach Housing Glut

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!!!

© Photoverio #675.5

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A Quote From THE ARRANGEMENT

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All the hostilities

and suspicions

we feel every day,

we hold them down

but they always come out.

Starring Kirk Douglas + Faye Dunaway

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This Is NOT An Impressionist Painting

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It is a house

I owned

for five years

Sometimes referred to 

"The House on Orient Hill,"

it is presently on 

the market

and the address is

5 Orient Road

 

The asking price is 

almost exactly ten times

the amount

I sold it for

in 1981

 

A private North Shore beach 

is within a healthy

walking distance

of this Long Island

waterfront community.

two miles west of

Rocky Point 

where I lived

and loved and laughed

for the first

≈ 27 years of my life ≈

plus the twilight 

 of my 31st year 

  before becoming

a California resident 

 

For my first birthday  

as a Cali res,

I belatedly received

a gift from 

JOAN RIVERS

 

It was a

a $20 check  

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Photoverio #675: Up Against The Stucco Wall

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!!!

© Oliverio

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Recently I Quoted Proust, Now I Quote Kafka

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The Institute of Inane Research

reveals the following encounter

in the Eternal Blissful Garden

reserved for the Literati

after serving their time 

on Earth.

Franz Kafka ordered 

ten copies of the tilted book

pictured below.

 

He gave a copy to 

Scott Fitzgerald

—his favorite American writer—

and this is what

Kafka said:

 

"Scott, I would sacrifice

all this Eternal Bliss

if only I could return

to Earth to meet

the woman 

who wrote

these tilted words"

 

Fitzgerald responded

"Franz, hardly a day goes by

when I don't feel the same way.

But it doesn't matter 

what the words are."

MARGARET ATWOOD

 

The next Fitzgerald page

is  TBD

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Portable, Adjustable, And Omnipresent

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I've got a man cave

in my pocket

and I never 

need to 

lock it

It's with me

wherever I go:

to the store,

to a diner 

or a show

At an early age,

something I did find

was

 varied and delicious

contents of mind

 

Be it baseball,

bagels or James Brown

I can be smart,

stupid

or play the clown

 

Acute or obtuse

I could be 

tight or loose

lasso

or noose

 

Put me 

in the shade 

or the sun

dress me dapper

or like a nun

 

None will ever know

—regardless of their size—

 the panorama

behind

my eyes

***

© PAUL OLIVERIO ©

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Happiness Gets Knock After Boost From Proust

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Happiness

is beneficial

for the body

but it is grief

that develops

the power of

the mind

***

MARCEL PROUST

Swann's Way

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Photoverio #674: Some Botanical Models ...

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Can't Stop Posing

© Oliverio

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Mr. Nice Guy ZIPS The Long Beach Public Library

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The Long Beach Public Library

is the beneficiary of something called

"Zip Books."

A patron receives

a brand new book

—free of charge—

and when finished,

gives it to LBPL

(if he/she wants another Zip Book)

What you see below

is my 10th Zip Book,

a copy of which

I proudly own

and have read three times

With the exception of Scott Fitzgerald,

there is no author

I admire more than Dawn Powell

and  THE WICKED PAVILION

is partly the reason

for that admiration

The Zip Book program exists

through the generosity of

Amazon Prime

 

I will qualify for

an 11th Zip Book

as soon as I

give this Dawn Powell novel

to the LBPL

(sometime within the next week)

 

Why

—you might ask—

did I order a book

I own and had already read?

 

Because Mr. Nice Guy Oliverio

wants it added to 

the library's catalog

to be enjoyed

by another patron

(or employee)

 

***

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HOODA HELAMI Hits The Deck

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Hit the deck

deal the cards

quote the buzzard bards

"Hello Acey, Hello Deucy

how's your cousin, Lucy?"

 

"Three of a kind

all of one mind"

 

"I've got the opposite

of a little bitty

pass me the kitty"

 

"I've got Kings over Queens,

just like an ancient

European Empire"

 

"But my full house

will empty yours"

 

"Good night, everybody, 

thank you for paying

my mortgage"

 

"Next week,

please remind me

not to be here"

***

 

HOODA HELAMI

Alter Ego #142857 

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Question + Answer #572814

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QUESTION

Do you believe in Angels?

ANSWER

Of course I do.

I only wish an Angel

could believe in me.

 ©©©

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Gilligan, Garfunkel And Me

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When Simon and Garfunkel disbanded,

Art Garfunkel  became

a math teacher.

I know this for a fact 

because one of his students

at Litchfield Prep,

was the son

of a personal friend 

of mine.

The actor who portrayed Gilligan

—Bob Denver—

taught  math

at an elementary school.

I know this because it says so

on his Wikpedia page.

I taught math

my entire professional career.

Art Garfunkel and Bob Denver

have no shortage 

of fame and fortune.

All I can do

is hope for the same.

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God And The Devil Were Talking

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God said

"To level the playing field

on planet Earth,

I am giving you a pill

with three ingredients."

 

The Devil said

"Whatever you say, Boss"

 

God said

"The first ingredient

is SINCERITY and

the second ingredient is

ARTICULATION."

 

The Devil said

"Very generous, Boss,

what is the other ingredient?"

 

God said

"HANDSOME:

If I am going to be

in competition with someone,

I want it to be

a handsome man."

 

The Devil said

"I'm ready for battle, Boss.

Down I go."

 

In the year 2023,

God looked down

at His most entertaining creation

—Earth—

and said

"How stupid of me!

I gave him

one ingredient too many"

***

 

© PAUL OLIVERIO ©

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With Orangethorpe, She Intersects IF She Were A Village

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ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL,

as someone said

who was either

very hopeful

or mischievous.

 

What a lot of anxiety

could have been avoided

if he'd only kept his mouth shut.

 ***

 

≈MARGARET ATWOOD≈

ATWOODING                       Page 3.5

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[Sic] ... Monkee Business: A Song We'll Never Hear

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With DeleteableAdvert

© Oliverio

We'll never hear

Pebblo and the Tchotchkes

sing

Hey Hey

We're the Tchotchkes

and people say

we tchotch around

We're too busy

tchotchking

to put anybody down

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DJ Oliverio: The Mattress-Bending Mystery Drug

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                                             Seatrain                                                       

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Photoverio #673: Without The Distracting Presence Of Humans

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Truncated: Two Dogs + One  Dog

© Oliverio

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Between The Beginning + The End ... Hooda Helami's Quatrain

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Between beginning and end

is the middle

inflamed with words,

muddle and piddle

***

HOODA HELAMI

Alter Ego #142857

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Quoting One Of TREVANIAN's Novels

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Two people 

who don't like each other

and who have

totally incompatible beliefs,

aspirations and backgrounds

are sure to end up

together forever.

***

TREVANIAN

The Crazy Ladies 

of Pearl Street

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Photoverio #672: Storm Clouds Over Laguna

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!!!

© Oliverio (2022)

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The Monotones Asked The Same Question (Comic Relief #4988)

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***

GARY LARSON   ***With Deleteable Advert***

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A Quatrain Completed By Pall Paul

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© Oliverio

This is an Abacus

high up on the wall

for those who do math

while feeling very tall

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The Saintly and Magnificent St. Matthew's Passion Concert

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Suffice it to say

the director of Musica Angelica

was terribly deficient

directing a car

to the North Long Beach

parking lot

That car was driven by me

who invented ten profanities

for the director

before finally boarding

the "free bus"

that transported us 

to the Concert destination

in downtown Los Angeles

The "free bus"

was actually 

a limousine service

boarded by two CarPeos

and seven women

whose average age

was 75

Their soft and delicate chatter

sounded like the dust

on valuable antiques

That my fellow passenger

was celebrating her 39th birthday

was never brought to the attention

of the chattering antiques

All the chatter

seemed to imply

"My antiques are 

more valuable than yours"

Mrs. CarPeo's 39th birthday

was a result of surgery

performed

on her birth certificate

The unspoken implication

of the antique chatter was

Our seven husbands

love their arm candy

The driver of the "free bus"

was dressed as a chauffeur

and he got us to the church

in time for 2 1/2 hours

of Musical Nirvana

© PAUL  OLIVERIO ©

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Quoting The Owner Of The NEW YORK METS

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If I spend any more money,

they'll find me

rubbed out somewhere.

 

≈ STEVE COHEN ≈

 

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The Superstar Of A Previous Musica Angelica Concert

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When Frederic Handel met Jimi Hendrix

≈ DENISE BRIESE ≈

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About the Composer Of ST. MATTHEW'S PASSION

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When Johann Sebastian Bach

composed 

ST. MATTHEW'S PASSION

in 1727,

I hope he was paid

significant overtime

for his work

and that his children

were the first ones fed

at the banquet

following the Oratio's 

premiere performance

***

 

© OLIVERIO ©

 

The next page is  here

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Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This

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 !!!

 

Sunday, April 2, 2023

was a day 

with 1001 memories

that are tattoed

to the skull

This concert

was the centerpiece

of those memories

and serves as

"Page 1 of x"

The pages will not be

in chronological order

nor will their titles be the same

but they will be linked together

The  last thing

I will say for now is

if my attendance

at this concert

is the closest I ever get

to Heaven,

I will be a happy camper

***

© OLIVERIO ©

 

The next page is  here

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