I had to laugh but not because I had finished
eighteen puzzles in eighteen hours.
I laughed because of the advert.
Recently, a young man in a coffee house showed me
the language program he bought because
he was going to Paris.
It is you!
he exclaimed.
Beneath an image of a man
reading a newspaper
were the phrases:
The man is reading a newspaper.
L'homme est en train de lire un journal.
The man is reading a newspaper.
L'homme est en train de lire un journal.
The model for this language lesson
was, in fact, me!
The photograph was taken in 2006
when I lived in the same Virginia city
where Rosetta Stone was headquartered.
My coffeehouse acquaintance told me
that I appeared in two other bilingual images
but I saw only that one.
He promised to send me those images
but never did.
Had he done so, I would present them here.
So I did the next best thing.
I called Rosetta and asked for copies
of my modelling images.
Of course, they said no,
unless I gave them $179.
Of course, I asked for extra compensation
for my image being marketed nine years
after the photo shoot.
Naturally, they said no.
They would not be the most successful
language company in the world
had they said otherwise.
I had signed a contract with them
and that contract is presented below.
In the nine months since I contacted Rosetta,
they have sent me fifty emails and countless drop ads
offering to sell me their products.
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| Fairfield is Rosetta's corporate name |
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