The Difference Between Life And Death

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The last Earthly thing

Michael Katz remembered

was his entire family at his bedside, 

emotionally broken by his imminent

departure from this life.

Included in the family were

Eileen and Walter, the twins.

Both were incommunicado

with siblings and parents

for twenty years.

They had been doing something

in Idaho which included denying

five grandchildren the glorious

and generous luxury of 

waterfront grandparents.

Cancer had claimed Marsha Katz

six months ago.

Michael's wife had been 

second-in-command

to a company with 

eight hundred employees.

Michael's wife had been 

second-in-command

to her husband.

Michael was the Chief Executive Officer

of Katz Kosher Katamaran.

Everyone at his bedside

was emotionally shattered

but he could see right through them all.

The sailboat manufacturer,

whose most elaborate creations

were mostly purchased by Arabic royalty,

saw right through those shattered emotions:

Everyone had nothing but dollar signs

flashing in their eyes.

Michael's last words were

You Goddam sons of bitches.

********

This is the first thing Michael Katz saw

in the afterlife:

This is the second thing Michael Katz saw

in the afterlife:

"Call me GK. I am the gate keeper."

"Call me Katz or Katman.

I built sailboats. I..."

"I know all that.

Spare me the salespitch."

"Jesus Christ!

Life after death looks

exactly like life in Long Beach.

I'm going to like it here."

"That depends."

"What do you mean?"

"Life after death looks

exactly like this in both

Heaven and Hell."

"Really?"

"Yes. Really.

They both look exactly like life

on the peninsula of Long Beach."

"But there's got to be

some difference between them,

right?"

"Right but it is very slight.

In Hell, there is no chocolate,

no ice cream, no cheese,

and all confectionery goodies

taste like aluminum foil."

"Which one is for me?

Do I get chocolate

or no chocolate?"

"Well. 

We had to give it some thought."

"Jesus Christ.

What do you mean?"

"Well.

You made a gazillion dollars

off your friends in Saudi Arabia,

Iran, and Lebanon.

But the worldwide image

was that they hated all Jews

and vice versa."

"Jesus Christ, I'm going down.

No chocolate, no cheese,

no future."

"Relax, Katman.

You're going up."

"Thank God."

"Literally.

An also thank Godette."

"Godette?"

"Mrs. God,

so to speak.

She's the one who added

the third dimension

to planet Earth.

The old man preferred

the flatland, two dimensional look."

"Really?"

"Yes,

He wanted it to be a board game.

After creation of the world,

he created a pair of dice."

"Really?"

"Yes,

so now He's really pissed

at her."

"Why?"

"He wanted a board game

but since you've been Trumpified,

it has become an end game."

"Well, GK, I think

I'm going to like it up there."

"It's impossible not to.

Goodbye, Katman."

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Footnotes

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN

LIFE AND DEATH

is the copyrighted property

of LCSoL.

I would like to thank

Mrs. CarPeo

for greenlighting this page. 

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