It began as the GODFATHER OF MATH, evolved into the GOODFATHER OF MATH. Now this. Go figure...

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The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = G. CARLIN...Stain glass, engraved glass, frosted glass
–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES ... Music is the mathematics of the gods=PYTHAGORAS ... Nothing is more fluid than language = R. L. SWIHART
I cannot live without the oxygen of laughter = DAWN POWELL ... !!! ... But laughter cannot survive without the hydrogen of gravitas = PAUL OLIVERIO
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Wednesday, February 9, 2022

Historical Discoveries: The North American MS Disease Of 1820

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There was an outbreak
that reached 
epidemic proportions
wherever there were
husbands and wives
with small
children
 
Marital Spats
were violent and dangerous 
to entire families
 
These spats
only occurred
during the dinner hour

To avoid hospitalizations,
husbands and wives
were inoculated
or wore masking tape
over their mouths

The latter was most amusing,
to their offspring

One year later,
MS
was severely on the wane
and family fun
reached an all-time high

But then there was 
a second wave
of 
Marital Spats
 
More masking tape
and more inoculations
Though nobody really knew
what was being inoculated
 
Six months later,
the second wave
was reduced
almost to naught:
 
Sunday afternoons,
miniature golf
became more popular
than alcohol
 
However, 
there was a third wave 
of MS
but it seemed to be
of a much less degree:
 
Instead of violent,
 invidious language
hurled between 
husbands and wives,
a maximum
of two tea spoons
of mashed potatoes
was hurled across
the dinner table
 
No spoon limit was applied 
to children present
at the spat
but they much preferred
to hurl peas
and string beans
 
Since the third wave of MS
resulted in much less
masking tape
and very few inoculations,
most people
thought that
there was no more
disease of
marital spatting
 
 
Meanwhile,
the Inoculato family
became the wealthiest
people on earth
 
But the smartest people
on earth
were the husbands and wives
who refused to believe
their lives were cured 
of MS
 
These people
[and their entire families]
knew that to spat
was unavoidable
 
These smart people [SP] 
acquired Acceptance
  
This product is readily available
wherever human beings 
can be found
 
The SPs  
accepted the spatiness
as momentary stains
on an otherwise
meaningful
and lasting
relationship
 
Resultingly,
The Inoculato family
did not get any richer
as far as these people 
were concerned
 
They didn't have to

Meanwhile,
the Anxieto Corporation
invested millions of dollars
to develop new fears
to collectively plant
in everybody's head.

So, keep tuned 
for further developments

Post Script
When the Inoculatos
would invite the SPs
to their estate,
the guests would invariably
defeat their hosts
at backgammon,
badminton and Monopoly
 
But rarely at tennis

:::

© PAUL OLIVERIO  ©

This page is somewhat
under construction
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4 comments:

  1. I hate to call you brilliant, Mr. SmartAss
    but no other word will do

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Flattery will get you somewhere
      and if that somewhere is Long Beach,
      I'll treat you to a Starbucks
      breakfast wrap

      Delete
    2. I'm not sure my husband would approve of that.

      Delete
    3. Bring him along.

      We'll let him pay

      Delete