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Nooly Schakeldt was arrested for committing
a crime against the state but no one knew
which state it was.
The arresting officers were instructed to take
Nooly to Jails 'r Us,
the chain store penitentiary.
Nooly Schakeldt was to be detained indefinitely
or for thirty days, depending on which came first.
Nooly was guilty of "Random Selection,"
according to Wally Wimzly, the Chief of Police.
Whenever there was a vacancy in Jails 'r Us,
Chief Wimzly randomly selected a name
from the burgeoning ranks of
Socially Extraneaous People.
Socially Extraneaous People.
Nooly qualified for the drawing
because he was gainfully unemployed.
He was assigned to the Linen Department
of Jails 'r Us and he got
clean sheets daily.
His cell was air-conditioned by
the foul breath of his cellmate,
Orville Stenchly, the garlic swindler.
Since thirty days precedes infinity,
Nooly Schakeldt was discharged
from jail after serving one month.
Chief Wimzly gave him a quarter
to make his first phone call.
This caused Nooly to wonder:
if there is Free Speech
then why are there
pay telephones?
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Footnotes
THE SAD SAGA OF NOOLY SCHAKELDT
ia the copyrighted property of LCSoL
It was originally written
in 1981
If Franz Kafka had been
a stand-up comic,
I could have been arrested
for plagiarism
If Franz Kafka had been
a stand-up comic,
I could have been arrested
for plagiarism
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