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Locating the exact date
my applause was "censored"
on THE DICK CAVETT SHOW
was a simple task
because I was a Cavett
audience member
exactly once
Locating the exact date
my applause was "censored"
on THE TONIGHT SHOW
is not a simple task
because I was
an NBC audience member
in Burbank
ITALat least fifty times:
I lived within walking distance
of that studio
at three different addresses
in a span of twenty years
when THE TONIGHT SHOW
was hosted by Johnny Carson
and then Jay Leno
***
HOWEVER,
the exact circumstances
of my second censorship
on national television
have been tattooed
to my skull
It was the Spring of 1994
Jay Leno was interviewing Albert Brooks
Albert was talking about
a stand-up comedy gig
on Sunset Strip
when he was the opening act
for Leo Sayer
At the mere mention
of that singer's name,
I applauded
but no one else did
Within thirty seconds
of my clappety-clap,
a studio page
approached me
in my end-row seat
and I will quote her verbatim
If you applaud again
I will have you
removed from the studio
That did not happen
but my exact reaction
was similar to
a cartoon character
whose eyes light up with
dollar signs
Within forty hours
after this happened,
I reported her to NBC quality control
and was on the receiving end
of profuse apologies
and
"guest passes for two"
at some future taping
of the Tonight Show
+
a free t-shirt
from the
Burbank NBC gift shop***
Having those guest passes meant
not having to stand in line
for an hour
before admission
to the broadcast studio
A month elapsed before
my very well-dressed girlfriend
and a nattily attired Oliverio
redeemed the guest passes
***
© OLIVERIO ©
To Be Continued
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