A Belated Apology To LIBERTY DeVITO's Family

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There will be 

neither hyperlinks

nor images on this page

because I do not know

the statute of limitations

in New York 

for being

a F*cking Idiot

 

But the story told below

is 99% fact 

________________

__________________

 

It was the Summer of 1968

when a 19-year-old punk

drives his car into the

 DEVITO CAR DEALERSHIP

in Smithtown

 

The warranty on his

Volkswagen Automatic Bug

entitled him 

to a free tune-up

::::

 

The punk and his two 

best buddies 

from Rocky Point

had heard that

the bulletin board

at this dealership

featured pictures

of 

Billy Joel's drummer

 

That proved to be true

and we uttered 

"WOW"

eleven times

:::

One for each toke of marajuana

we had smoked

that morning

 

HOWEVER,

the dealership

kept us waiting

endlessly

for the tune-up

to be completed

despite the vehicle

ultimately

being parked

where six other people

had driven away

with their serviced cars

 

Let's just get 

the F*ck outta here

said the owner

of the Volkswagen Bug

 

AND SO WE DROVE

BACK TO ROCKY POINT

 

The punk's parents

were sitting comfortably

at the foot 

of their driveway

on 

137 Friendship Drive

They were not looking too happy

"Turn the car around, Paul.

We're taking a trip to Smithtown

without your junkie campanions."

 

He told me 

He told the punk

that the whos-a-ma-dingy

on the whatcha-macallit

had purposely been loosened

making the repaired car

only driveable

for 50 miles

:::

 

The only time

the punk ever heard his father

use profanity was on that

return trip to Smithtown:

 

"If there was ever one thing

I thing I do not want you to be

it's a F*cking stupid thief

________________

 

________________

 

The punk's parents

promised him a severe punishment

for his misdeed

but forgot to impose it

 

As for the punk's 

"junkie companions"

 he will only say

one of them became 

a distinguished 

Suffolk County Detective

and the other

is 

a District Attorney

 :::

 :::

 

 

© Paul Oliverio ©

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