MAYO MADNESS ... Season With Your Own Images

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It has always been easier

for me to say what 

I am going to do

than to

do what it is

I say

 

For instance,

the other night

when I said

"Tomorrow, I will smear

my face with mayonnaise" 

I sincerely meant it

 

At the precise moment

I made that statement,

I could feel

the slithery sensation

of a smooth

creamy substance

against my 

skin

 

I envisioned the reaction

of people at work,

confirming their suspicions

about me

—mumbling to each other—

and shaking their heads

 

"It's part of an experiment

for the CIA,"

I told them 

"It's happening undercover

all across America!"

 

I could hear 

my boss say

"Kramer is ill,

we'll have to send him

home again."

 

I was 

really and truly

excited that night,

just thinking about 

tomorrow

 

BUT 

when tomorrow became today,

the idea of 

coating my face

with mayonnaise

seemed totally

preposterous

so I just ate

a quick breakfast

and packed 

a sandwich

in a brown paper bag

 

It was tuna fish 

 

At lunch

in the cafeteria, 

someone remarked

"Hey Kramer,

you got some mayonnaise

on your cheek."

 

I just laughed and said

"Thanks for telling me"

***

***

 

© PAUL OLIVERIO ©

≈ 1978 ≈

Happaugue, New York 

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