Mr. H + G Strikes Again (Comic Relief #6228)

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GARY LARSON

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PhotoVerio #821: Loneliness

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© Oliverio

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PhotoVerio #820: Cloud Duster

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© Oliverio

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A '28 Demi May Be Moore ... Sic Sic Sic

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We own the world

and that includes

two new members of

the Mickey Mouse Club:

 

1.

The ELONgated MUSKeteer

who stretches

further than

Silly Putty

2.

The TRUMPeteer

who blows his horn

24/7

_________

They entertain in ways

inconceivable to Walt

but not to our

very deep pockets

 ***

Sleepy 

once said

to the other Dwarfs

"Fear is over-rated"

 

 Sneezy 

responded with 

"There's a DEMi

in a moving truck

with a 28 on it"

 

All the dwarfs

looked at the truck

 but 

 Dopey 

(Of course)

got the last word

 

"Sleeping Beauty 

has returned

once more

and her name

 is

Demi Moore."

© OLIVERIO         © All of the Above ©

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I Got A Dentist, He's Over 7-Feet Tall ... Performed By B. Midler

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Bette Midler

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In Addition To Impersonating ... MY FAVORITE PAINTING ...

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I present mediocre

photographic proof

that I also

impersonated

a good Catholic

and received ashes on 

Ash Wednesday

***

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It Is NOT ... A Bottomless Pit

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Some people believe

"The more you know,

the smarter you are"

and regard knowledge

as a bottomless pit

 

ALSO

these people

 regard their nose

as always sniffing:

insisting on knowing

details of every news story

beyond what is reported

 

However,

this endless acquisition

DOES NOT

make one smarter:

 

All it does is create

a data dump in your brain

 

Knowledge is not 

just the acquisition

of information

 

TRUE KNOWLEDGE

mandates the discrimination

between 

what is necessary to know

and what is 

superfluous jabberwocky

 

TRUE KNOWLEDGE

requires the wisdom

to know the difference

 

Otherwise,

the gargantuan acquisition

morphs a person into

a yawn-inducing

almanac

***

 

© OLIVERIO ©

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PhotoVerio #819: Together Again

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© Oliverio

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It's ROKU DAY ... According To The Talents Of The Spectrum ...

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Because 

I am brain-dead

when attempting

to follow

a cable TV company's

simple instructions

to improve services,

a Spectrum technician

will be here 

at noon

to install a 

very special device

 

It will significantly improve

our television options

from what we 

presently have

:::

Since I best understand 

things in code:

this improvement

will be parallel to

converting from

picking your nose

to 

dancing with 

Beyonce

:::

We  were told

that this conversion

would involve

a $45 installation fee

BUT

—face-to-face—

with a representative

at the downtown

Long Beach

Spectrum Studio

changed things:

 

One quick wink

from Oliverio

(and a flashing

of his new dentures)

inspired a high-five

from their rep

and a waiver

of the fee

:::

 

My understanding

of "streaming"

is that

all I will have to do

is wiggle my nose

and the ghost of

 Samantha Stevens

will personally appear

in our living room,

serving Hors d'oeuvres

 

Simultaneously

 our TV

will alternate scenes

of 

The Sopranos

with scenes 

of

The Godfather

or 

clips of 

Sidney Portier

from

Blackboard Jungle

+

To Sir With Love

 or

whateva 

 

The only problem I foresee

is when the actress 

portraying Samantha

(Elizabeth Montgomery)

(in ghost form)

is in the same room

with Mrs. CarPeo:

Only one 

of those two women

wrote a Bewitched script with

Jefferson High School

students

and I love 

this woman 

madly

 

However,

it is not

my smarter half

who might very well

be reading this page

while holding a switchblade

that has my name on it

 

🔪🔪🔪

 

 

 ***

 💔💔💔 © OLIVERIO © 💔💔💔

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Dedicated To The Queen Of The Blues [A/K/A Dinah Washington]

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The "diagonal" line

—in a very wet way—

created some linear lap dancing

***

© PhotoVerio #818.5

***

 

The text above

the image

adds a double entendre

to the double entendre
 classic

about Dinah Washington's dentist

 

The song was written

for her in 1949

 

 At the beginning

of the 21st Century,

CARDELLA Di MILO

 sang a stunning rendition of

"Long John"

for the students

at Jefferson High School

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PhotoVerio #818: Patio Companion With Super Powers

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Such as catering to

my super-soft

Super-Ego

© Oliverio

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Humbling Moments For Mr. Oliverio

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When we say

"Christ have mercy on us,"

we don't ask 

for a literal blessing.

We express how merciless

we are to ourselves.

***

≈ JOHN CHEEVER ≈

His Journal contains

AT LEAST

one hundred and one

other quotes

that reduce this

bush-league

blogger

+

bush-league

Catholic

to a leafless entity

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Cheaper Than A Dozen Eggs With Some CREATIVE Spelling

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 Hey Baby

Hey Babe

Hey Booby

Hey Bobby

Hey Babakanoosh

Hey Babe-alicious

Hey Babarella

***

Hey There

Hey is for Horses

***

Hey Henry  ________________________________________________________________________________________________

NOT Intended For Anyone Younger Than Eighteen

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©PhotoVerio #817. X

 

Forget Rhymin' Simon

and ignore

her hymen

 

There's more

 of her kind

and if you want 

to see 'em

 

Go to a 

Pasadena museum

***

NORTON SIMON Sculpture Garden

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I Dedicate This Month To CARDELLA Di MILO + Dr. Rezkalla

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Make of this page what you will

but my doctor and "my friend"

are NOT unrelated in the

GoFather of Math universe

 

The link between the two is

a Dinah Washington song

about her dentist

 

But my friend Cardella

also wrote and performed

the title song for the film

BLACKENSTEIN

 

 

The only question I will NOT answer 

but beget your imagination to do so is

Who the hell is HERKIE STYLES?

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