It began as the GODFATHER OF MATH, evolved into the GOODFATHER OF MATH. Now this. Go figure...

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The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = G. CARLIN...Stain glass, engraved glass, frosted glass
–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES ... Music is the mathematics of the gods=PYTHAGORAS ... Nothing is more fluid than language = R. L. SWIHART
I cannot live without the oxygen of laughter = DAWN POWELL ... !!! ... But laughter cannot survive without the hydrogen of gravitas = PAUL OLIVERIO
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Friday, December 20, 2019

The Night I Received A Phone Call From Willie Mays

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I was in a box
which was my bedroom
with the door closed

The rest of my family
was doing
whatever they did
 after dinner

The phone on my desk rang:
It was Willie Mays

I would have been less excited
if God himself
was on the phone

(Unless God was offering
 tickets to a Giants game)

Willie knew that my sixth birthday
was six days away

It was May 12, 1955

"Willie, you hit a home run
off of Johnny Klippstein

"What kind of pitch did he throw you?"

"It was a fastball,
low and outside,
just how I like it."

"Low heat and a big blast."

But then the door opened
and my father saw me on the phone

Instead of instantly shutting the door,
he lingered, laughed,
and then the shut the door

It shattered my excitement

The flatline truth was
that this was NOT Willie Mays
on the phone

It was my Uncle Tony
but I played along
and the last laugh was mine

"Willie, do you know
that my Father hates his brother Tony?

"Do you think you can give him a call?"

Before Willie could answer,
I told him I had to get
off the phone because
I was expecting a call
from Zsa Zsa Gabor

Not bad for a six-year-old
***



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Footnotes
THE NIGHT I RECEIVED A PHONE CALL
FROM WILLIE MAYS
is the copyrighted property
of LCSoL

This page is dedicated
to my Uncle Tony
and Aunt Linda
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