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My mother was Detty
My father was Gus
My father was Gus
His joke was:
I’d rather drive a bus
I’d rather drive a bus
You know him well
You think him swell
I know the wife
he couldn’t
You think him swell
I know the wife
he couldn’t
resist
You act as if
she didn’t
she didn’t
exist
You use his name
consider him great
But without my mother
he couldn’t create:
No birds, no bees
no mountain, no sea
and, of course,
You use his name
consider him great
But without my mother
he couldn’t create:
No birds, no bees
no mountain, no sea
and, of course,
no me!
His bus joke began
as he took to gloomin’
after they created
the so-called human
Detty said to Gus
They need to be
more like us
as he took to gloomin’
after they created
the so-called human
Detty said to Gus
They need to be
more like us
At me she pointed
I felt disjointed
(Caught from some wrong I did?)
Then she said
Let’s send them
this kid
Let’s send them
this kid
*
*
I did like pranks
I was always a joker
I was always a joker
They played games
Their favorite was poker
I'd serve them snacks
while they gambled
and talked
But one night
I changed their chocolate
into chalk
They got really mad
They got really mad
and started to squalk
I thought a gangplank
I thought a gangplank
they'd make me walk
But all they did was
But all they did was
send me to my room
They made me sweep the floor
They made me sweep the floor
with a one-bristle broom
Yet I did get laughs
Yet I did get laughs
from my two brothers
As far as equals
As far as equals
there were no others
Al played war games
Al played war games
in the sand
Buddy preferred
Buddy preferred
to walk the land
Until he hurt his knees
Until he hurt his knees
then he sat cross-legged
under the trees
Eating nothing but cheese
Eating nothing but cheese
and counting the fleas
When Al stopped laughing
When Al stopped laughing
about parents eating chalk
He said Little Brother:
He said Little Brother:
We have to talk
But no gangplank
will you walk
It's worse than that–
you'll learn what its worth–
Cuz Mom and Dad are
sending you to Earth!
The humans will credit you
with miracles–for sure–
When, in truth, you're just
doing a family chore
But ours is a family
But ours is a family
that unfurled
what others call
the world
The wisdom of humans
The wisdom of humans
is a matter of dearth
You'll be the result
You'll be the result
of a–LOL–virgin birth
Then our father's voice boomed
Then our father's voice boomed
And I stood up with fear
Jessie, get your loincloth.
Jessie, get your loincloth.
You are outta here!
...
...
...
Returning 33 years later,
with nail holes still fresh
My family was grateful
My family was grateful
I still had my flesh
What did I learn?
What did I learn?
They asked with a smile
Was all of our creation
worthwhile?
The stars and the mountains
The stars and the mountains
are well worth the labor
Dogs, cats,goats...
Dogs, cats,goats...
have such natural behavior
All the birds
All the birds
sing so sweet
I thought that
I thought that
was pretty neat
Almost all the species
Almost all the species
deserve a thumbs up
But somebody please–
But somebody please–
pass the wine cup
One question from me
One question from me
(after some heavy drinking)
When you created "humans"
what were you thinking?
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Footnotes
THE BROTHER OF AL AND BUDDY
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.
Detty is an alternate spelling of Deity.
Gus is a substitute for another
three-letter word beginning with G.
Detty's proper name earned her
the title of Original Godmother.
Buddy's favorite cheese was Gouda.
That is why you know him as B____.
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