It began as the GODFATHER OF MATH, evolved into the GOODFATHER OF MATH. Now this. Go figure...

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The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = G. CARLIN...Stain glass, engraved glass, frosted glass
–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES ... Music is the mathematics of the gods=PYTHAGORAS ... Nothing is more fluid than language = R. L. SWIHART
I cannot live without the oxygen of laughter = DAWN POWELL ... !!! ... But laughter cannot survive without the hydrogen of gravitas = PAUL OLIVERIO
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Tuesday, March 15, 2022

LAGUNACY Page Five: Driving Uphill Into MemoryLand

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Beyond the green light, these cars will ascend
for the next half-mile
***
***

During my brief tenure as a married man,
there was one  and only one day
when I drove to Laguna twice
 
It was 1985 and I was living in Vista,  
approximately forty-five miles 
south of Laguna 

I was teaching summer school
in San Juan Capistrano
and needed some noontime sustenance

I drove up Pacific Coast Highway,
through San Clemente and just over
the peak of a long hill,
I had a revelation:

There was
 a FREE parking space
in front of a Bar & Grill

After eating a burger and fries,
I asked the waiter if I could play
the baby grand piano

He handed me a bar coaster for my Budweiser,
and here comes a rock-solid truth
about my piano-playing:

I am not good enough to play
anyone else's music
but for fifteen minutes,
I can impress anyone with ears
 
While I was playing,
someone I never saw
comes running out of an office, 
  heaping praise on the pianist
 
He wore a pink paisley Hawaiian shirt
and asked if I would perform there
some evening
 
I said "Sure" and he asked
if I could play there
that evening
 
I drove home and assumed
my wife would go with me
back to Laguna
 
Unfortunately.
the intensive-care nurse
had to work that night
 
I returned to Laguna
but not to a free parking space
 
After ten minutes of looking
for one, I paid $5
and figured What the hell!
 
That's Show biz
and I walked eight blocks
to the Bar and Grill
 
I had a date
with a Baby Grand
***
***
 
A few dollars were dropped
into the tip cup,
with apologies from the pianist
"I don't take requests"
because I am playing
only my own music
 
The fifteen minute barrier
was reached and the Inevitable
reared its ornery head:
everything else sounded
the same as what
I had already played
 
None of the tippers
nor anyone I saw
in the Bar and Grill
was female
but Mr. Paisley Pink
—who owned the joint—
angrily approached the piano
and sent me home
 
Mr. Pink set a precedent:
three Chinese Restaurants
in San Diego
hired me to play piano
 
At none of them
did  I play more than
twenty minutes
before being asked 
to leave,
albeit politely
 
Every word of this visit
to MemoryLand
is 100% true
 ***
 
© PAUL OLIVERIO ©
 
Page Six is  here
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