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The landlady did not awaken Jonathon when the Mall-Walkers Bus
pulled into their driveway.
She boarded the bus without him.
But Jonathon awoke with a standard reaction: the urge to exercise.
He needed to do so somewhere other than his living room,
despite the fact that rain was pounding on the roof.
That he would not record any community service hours
today by "co-ordinating" a Senior Citizen Mall-Walk
was no hindrance to the urge.
So he did the next best thing after putting on
a weatherproof sweat suit and lacing up his Nikes.
He hastily walked across the street at precisely 7:01AM EST.
At that time, Monsignor Capaldi was returning to the rectory
after unlocking the side doors to St. Anthony's of Padua.
The Monsignor left his opened umbrella on the front porch
of the rectory, right next to his bicycle.
Jonathon genuflected upon entering the church.
To his delight, no other living humans were there.
The perimeter around the pews was approximately fifty yards.
There were no yard markers, as such, but there were
fourteen stations, plaqued on the wall.
Had Jonathon gone to the mall, the scenery
surrounding his walk would have included
a Burger King, Starbucks, and Toys 'r Us.
All gated shut until the mall officially opened for business.
 |
| *** |
But the scenery of this morning's walkercise included
a condemnation, an encounter with Pontius Pilate
and a meeting with the women of Jerusalem.
The church walker secretly regarded this "scenery"
as the first graphic novel of the Christian world.
Jonathon secretly regarded the main character
of the story as
Mr. C but the story is open
to different interpretations by anyone
who respects freedom of religion.
In the story,
Mr. C dies in order that others may live.
Jonathon could not live without some form of daily work-out
and none was easier than repeatedly putting
one foot in front of the other.
Midway through his ninth lap around the pews,
Jonathon heard someone enter the church:
his signal to end this morning's exercise.
The lack of time and distance of this walk
was surplussed by Jonathon's spiritual satisfaction.
Anyone who respects the urge for physical exercise
knows exactly what that means.
Jonathon went home and ate a tuna fish sandwich.
By then, the sun was shining.
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Footnotes
THE CHURCH WALKER is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.
The author of this story, a former card-carrying atheist, sincerely believes
that atheism is severely lacking in imagination.
***
There are as many variations to the
Fourteen Stations of the Cross
as there are Catholic churches.
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