Almost Looks Good Enough To Eat

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The Catholic Abacus

© PhotoVerio #786.5

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Father Forgive Me For I Have Sinned...

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I have sinned

—beginning with THIS MOMENT—

 

This 

was  when 

my Uncle was photographed

for the first time

after being "branded"

by the Pope:

There was no more 

Father Frank

He was now

—officially—

Monsignor Oliverio

and there is enough

bliss in his eyes,

he was empowered

to shatter glass

The year was 1995

but I  addressed

my father's youngest brother

as "Monsignor"

only twice

before his death in

2013

 

I have addressed him as

"Father"

longer than I did

address

my biological father as

"Father"

 

The eldest

—and most influential—

brother of the Monsignor

 died in 1971

 ***

 

As for my other sins,

I would need

a month of Sundays

to list them all

***

Regarding the man 

who "branded" 

my Uncle 

all I will say is

the recently released

CONCLAVE

is a must-see

movie

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I Can Never Post Too Many HOOSier Photographs

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Dreamy and Creamy

NEIL HOOS

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2024 WORLD SERIES HERO And His Private Confessions

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Entirely 

"off the record"

MOOKIE BETTS

made the following statements 

to a representative

of this website:

 

 

1

I must confess that I was born

"Mookie Abromowitz"

but the money offered 

my mother by the ILBS

was so vast,

she changed 

my surname to

"Betts"

 

2

ILBS stands for

International League

of Betting Sites

 

3

Through a translator,

Shohei Otani told me

the first American 

baseball player

he dreamt of

was Pete Rose

 

4

I thought he was lying

because I said the same thing

twelve  years ago

to a Boston Red Sox

scout who instantly

offered me 

a contract

 

5

Shohei was not lying

and AT LEAST

thirty current

major league athletes

have had the same dream

[including 4 in NFL/NBA]

 

6

At the Los Angeles Dodgers'

World Series celebration dinner, 

   we had a Moment of Silence     

to honor the passing

the man who had more base hits

than anyone whoever wore

 a Major League baseball uniform

[approximately 90,000 players]

7

Pete Rose died 

less than a month before 

the World Series began

 

8

My teammates and I

thought it disgraceful

that nothing was done

by Major League Baseball

to honor him

 

9

My teammates 

bet on which Dodger

 would "out"

this confession

 

10

Teoscar Hernandez won

$40,000 for betting on me

 

11

I bet on Will Smith

because he could easily claim

he was coerced into 

going public

by the infamous actor

with the same name

 

12

Allow me to spare 

Mr. Oliverio 

the "qualifier"

 

13

He is too 

chickenshift

to provide any 

hyperlinks 

or photographs

on this page,

fearing retribution

from the megatron

power/influence

of the 

betting industry

 !!!

 

© OLIVERIO © 

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Loud SEX With A Dame Named Edna

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***

LOUDON WAINWRIGHT

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The 206th Bullet ... Which One Are You?

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 Some people

have a conscience

while others

have an agenda 

***

 

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Footnote

THE 206th BULLET

is the copyrighted property

of LCSoL

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Comic Relief #6068 ... But It Put Out The Fire

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GARY LARSON

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The BeBop Purse Curse + Father And Daughter Reunion

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Our Lady of the Underground

carried a purse

and what's worse:

it contained nothing

but numbers

(and everbody 

needed one)

 

She gave them 

the opposite number

and snapped her fingers:

the sweeper made certain

no dust lingers

 

Everyone else 

smiled at Our Lady

all they had were

other faces

until there were

no traces 

and no spaces between 

everything and

Our Lady Of The Underground

 

She looked great 

for her age

with all that rage

 

She dressed in black 

and red:

satin slacks

but below her head

an embroidered sweater

bearing an image

of a goose

made her think

of Daddy Zeus

 

Who suddenly appeared

in full beard

and kissed her head

and said

"Daughter Dearest,

here's your reward"

as He stepped forward

It was a sack

full with seed

to help her breed

Zeus smelled funny

(he was on a bender)

 

"To help you

make a second gender

and sleep where you slumber

—infinite in number—"

 

"Thank you, Daddy dear

but tell me clear:

what will they do

above ground?"

 

"Just fill man

with your

God-given sound"

***

© PAUL OLIVERIO © 

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OAKWOOD TOLUCA LAKE + My "Problem" With The F-Book

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There is a red dot

on the upper-left image

of a swimming pool

 

It marks the place where

I witnessed 

Nina Simone

smiling

 with a transcendence

unavailable to mere mortals

and her humble servant (me)

 

I was

standing poolside

at that moment

 

We talked 

for five minutes

 

Actually,

she did all the talking

and the listening post

heard the most gorgeous

"I love life" stream of words

but I can't remember

a single sentence

 

All I remember is

a neon-glowing smile

 

During a three month

1981 residence at

Oakwood Toluca Lake,

  I swam

AT LEAST 1000 laps

in that pool

where I could 

usually be found

at midnight

when the sculpted

body of water

was exclusively 

mine

 

But during 

daylight hours.

meaningful, philosophical 

poolside discussions

were a dime-a-dozen

 

 

Most of mine

were with someone

I will call

XYZ

 ***

 

Fast forward

forty-three years

and you arrive at

the month of

April

—2024—

when I received

an F-Book post

from XYZ

 

But it contained

—almost verbatim—

one of our "discussions"

with him writing like

a kiss-my-ring

monologist

 

 That email

inspired me to delete

every F-book post

since that day

including ones from people

whose ring

I was willing 

to kiss

 

I do this 

because in 1981,

my best friend

at Oakwood

[another New York expatriate]

was having a torrid

sexual affair

with the wife of XYZ

while he was poolside

with yours truly

 ***

 

I will neither

copyright nor sign

this page

because

 I truly believe

this "problem"

could have written about

by at least 100

people 

 with an equal measure

of truth

The only adjustment to fact

I presented here 

was the name

XYZ 

 

Whille the F-book people

 spray or spew 

their words

and ideas

on a screen

in their home,

their partners

or spouses 

are sharing 

their bodies 

    elsewhere       

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Simple Arithmetic Without Hyperlink Or Copyright Symbol

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***

Take

one-tenth

the talent of

OPRAH WINFREY

Add someone

who is easier 

on the eyes

and you get

TAMRON HALL

***

There is no hyperlink

out of fear

because I named

a centerpiece

of a Disney-owned

network

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The WOKE PRINCIPAL Simplified By Hooda Helami

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***

Students in the United States

are never guilty

of cheating on tests

because

all they are doing

is

Sharing Information

and anyone

incapable of sharing

are incapable of living

***

 

© HOODA HELAMI © 

 Alter Ego #142857

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This LILY Is "Giving The Finger" To Another Flower

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"Pistil-Finger"

With a name like 

"Lily,"

 human speech

is a divine right

 

 LILY is

saying the equivalent of

"bafungulo"

to a ROSE

 

*

 *

The red rose may have 

more aroma

but the lily has 

necessary language skills

to address 

certain other members

of the PLANTation

Plant Nation 

 

©

© Oliverio ©

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PhotoVerio #786: EL SUPER Clouds ... With "Shady" Logo

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***

© Oliverio          Photographed 12/1/24     7:30AM

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NEIL HOOS ... Sad Facade With Horsehead

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NEIL HOOS

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Geometric, Foot-Worthy And Sepiated With ... NO DIViNG

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© PhotoVerio #785.5

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