It began as the GODFATHER OF MATH, evolved into the GOODFATHER OF MATH. Now this. Go figure...

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The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = G. CARLIN...Stain glass, engraved glass, frosted glass
–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES ... Music is the mathematics of the gods=PYTHAGORAS ... Nothing is more fluid than language = R. L. SWIHART
I cannot live without the oxygen of laughter = DAWN POWELL ... !!! ... But laughter cannot survive without the hydrogen of gravitas = PAUL OLIVERIO
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Tuesday, September 21, 2021

When Shohei Lost It

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Unless you live under a rock
or hate baseball
but do not read
you would know the name
Shohei Otani
in the year 
2021
 
During the first
three months
of the season,
he did things 
on the baseball field
that justifiably
compared to 
Babe Ruth
 
Then,
in mid-July,
he was selected 
as a starter
 in the All-Star Game
That is an honor
yearly bestowed upon 
only eighteen people
on  a planet with
a population 
of more than
seven billion
 
You can enlarge the photo
to get a better look
at these superstars
 
One starting pitcher is missing
from the image
and Otani
is in the lower-left corner

But let's take
a closer look
at Shohei

Not only does he look 
younger than 
all the other All-Stars
(which he definitely wasn't)
but he looks
like a virgin
!!!
 
I have never said that
about a professional athlete
of any sport
 
 But
I can truly believe 
Shohei Otani arrived
at the All-Star Game
in Denver, Colorado
as a virgin
and all his
repressed sexual energy
—prior to the All-Star Game—
enabled him to
shine like the sun
on a baseball field,
hitting moonshots
out of the ballparks
and striking out
anyone
and everyone
 
In the All-Star Game,
Shohei Otani pitched
the first inning
but he didn't strike out
anyone nor did he
hit any moonshots
 
However,
I am convinced
that somewhere
in Colorado,
Shohei Otani
popped his cherry
 
"The lucky lady"
was probably
one of the most
beautiful Japanese women
on the planet
and she has taken home
Shohei's virginity
 
Quite conceivably,
her home is in
Las Vegas
or a penthouse
in New York
 
After the All-Star Game,
there was still
half of the baseball season
to be played
 
It is now
late September
and it would  be merciful
to say that
since the All-Star Game 
Shohei Otani's 
hitting and pitching
is "sub-par"
 
To use a technical term,
it downright sucks
 
The reason:
there is no more
repressed sexual energy
in the man 
who deserved to be
mentioned 
in the same sentence 
as Babe Ruth
 
But no more
***
 
© PAUL OLIVERIO ©
 
Happy Googling
to anyone
who reads this page
 
If you do not know
who Babe Ruth was,
you should never
have read
this page  
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