What I Like Best About #47

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[Add your own visual]

 

Donald Trump

would not be 

our first President

to fart while delivering

The State Of The Union Address

 

But,

he would be the first

to do so audibly

and demand

a staff member

hold a microphone

to his anus

***

 

© Paul Oliverio ©  

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Out Of 8000+ Blog Pages, This Is The Safest I've Created

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Hooda Helami's Haiku

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Opposites attract

 when we're all the same.

Just play at the game,

"You  Win!" 

 

:::

© HOODA HELAMI ©

Alter Ego #142857 

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Professor Jabberwocky's Fear Of JOHN CHEEVER

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"The thousands of nights

   I have spent on sofas."

 

This quote

gives me the eerie feeling

that the ghost of John Cheever

is looking through

my bedroom window

To refer to the 

Genius of John Cheever

is to be redundant

 

Anyone who wants

to be a writer

should read 

this Journal

 from cover-to-cover

***

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Community News #3 ... The Smart Orientation

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In my backyard,

Johnny Mantis

has staring contests

with Mr. CarPeo

 

Mrs. CarPeo has determined

Johnny is a male

praying mantis

 

Science has determined

female members

of Johnny's species

bite off the heads

of their male lovers

 

© Oliverio    3x

 

 

This blog has determined

Johnny has an appreciation

for Johnny Mathis

music

 

If that makes

Johnny Mantis gay,

it also makes him smart:

 

He can make love

to his male sweetheart

and both will live

to do it again

!!!

 

😍😍😍

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Community News #2 ... Her Adopted Home

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At least 4 residents

of our condo complex

feed this cat

and her lover[s]

Nobody seems to mind

the midnight music

of fornicating felines

 

She may have as many as

three other names

but we are the only ones

who have fed her

sirloin steak

 

The only "acceptable" litter

in our complex

is empty cat food cans

 

© Oliverio ©

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Community News #1 ... MOTORCYCLE FOR SALE

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One of my neighbors

is selling her

motorcycle

I've looked at it

up close

five times

and had

five different fantasies

as to what

I could do with it

BUT

if you have

a serious interest

and want further info

about her bike,

contact this website

She has no idea

I created this page

 

Asking Price ≈ $2000

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The Young Ladies Journal + IRONY =

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At the same time  these young ladies

look youthful,

they look like they could be

150 years old

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The Only Day In History To Be Remembered As A Fraction

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That fraction is

9/11

Yesterday 

was the 24th Anniversary

of the shocking events

that occurred on

Sept 11, 2001

 

Before anyone 

shouts out

"What about January 6th?"

please remind them 

that 

"January"

is a word

and not a number

 

However,

the 4th anniversary

of the shocking events 

of 

January 6, 2021

is near at hand

BUT

Blog-O-Verio

will be in 

an incredibly safe place

on that day:

 

Getting fitted 

for his permanent dentures

in the office of 

the best dentist

in Long Beach

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Professor Jabberwocky Talks To His College Students

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I applaud any student

who signs up for

SURVEY OF

20th CENTURY

AMERICAN 

LITERATURE

 

[canned applause fills the auditorium]

 

!!!

However, if the author 

ED McBAIN

[also known as Evan Hunter]

is not included 

in the curriculum,

you would benefit more

by taking a class

on 

Air-Conditioning Repair

 

 ≈ Always tell the truth until it is necessary to lie ≈  

 

The quote is from page 46

of this edition

 

Oliverio apologizes to 

ALL 

air-conditioning repairmen

+

any person intelligent enough

to repair

anything that breaks

or breaks down

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HOODA HELAMI Observes The Classroom

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If it is 

"nice and easy"

then learning is not 

really done

in the classroom

What you have is 

information dispensed

by a teacher

and

absorbed by students

UNTIL

more information 

displaces it

and the previous "learning"

is wiped out

 

This process repeats

and repeats again

 

What you end up with

is students who have

a nice and easy smile

with virtually empty heads

except for whatever

is happening

on their iPhones

+

A teacher who enjoys

his/her students

because the kids admire

a nice and easy

teacher

***

 

© HOODA HELAMI ©

Alter Ego #142857

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PhotoVerio #938: UP UP + AWAY ... With Johnny Mantis

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Pray to the Heavens

with

Johnny Mantis

© Paul Oliverio ©

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In Addition To Being An Excellent Electric Bassist ...

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Coach Powell

was one of the

most beloved PE teachers

in the Los Angeles

School District

 

 

Proof of his popularity

was 

how the entire auditorium

went bazonkers

the moment

he stepped

to center stage

 

But not one person

did anything

that resembled

"misbehavior"

 

When I moved to Long Beach,

I met his sister

who volunteered

at the Senior Center,

two doors away

from my condo

 

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

invite your brother

to the Center,

pleaded 

Condo-Verio

 

It never happened

and unfortunately

the reason is obvious:

 

When the 

"Donut Concert Fund"

at Jefferson HS

was bleeding with money,

I slipped a legal tender

with Ullyses S Grant's

picture on the bill

to the bass guitarist

 

This happened three times

 

—Sadly—

Coach Powell

was an eternal 

"No Show"

at the Senior Center

 because

—like thousands before him—

he might have suspected

that his benefactor

wanted some form 

of PAYBACK

 

Fluck No:

 

All I wanted was a big hug

from a beloved colleague

without anyone thinking

I wanted to get into

his pants

***

 

© PAUL OLIVERIO ©

 

 

Photograph taken by 

one of the cheerleaders 

 

 

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If Feet Don't Move You, The Mind Will Blow You Away

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THERE’S A DISCOURAGING WIND 

THAT BLOWS AROUND 

THIS CORNER

MAKES WALKING PRETTY HARD 

—GIVES YOU A RUNNING NOSE—

THE ONLY WAY 

IT KNOWS 

HOW TO BLOW

 THOSE LITTLE 

TINY SCRAPS OF PAPER

       

—BETTING SLIPS THAT NEVER WIN—

       ADD SOME POISON TO THE VAPOR 

OF 

THE DISCOURAGING WIND

 

I'D LIKE TO RE-INVENT

MY SINS

:::

:::

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© Jack + Mary McCarthy ©

*************************

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Caution:

Their attorney 

is an Italian girl

from Newark

who breathes

hellfire

but calls it 

justice

______________________

______________________

______________________

 

😎😎😎 

It is my executive privilege

to have known

 Jack McCarthy

since he was

my 7th grade classmate

who played guitar

on his porch

in Whitestone

 

The first time

I saw Jack

on that porch,

this card-carrying member 

of the

 Whitestone Whimsy Society 

danced/farted/applauded

until 

the music ended

 

Then

Mister McCarthy

mentioned the name

MUDDY WATERS

 

That was where 

I first heard

that name

but have repeated it

1000 times

on this blog

because he was

Like a Rolling Stone

 

 

It is

my executive honor

to be the first person

[west of the Bronx]

to have received these lyrics

and the recording

of this song

😎😎😎 

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My Starbucks Coffee + My Morning MADness

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***

© PhotoVerio #937.5

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