Ralph Waldo Emerson, Henry Thoreau, And Louisa May's Daddy

________________________________________________________________________________________________

It sounds like two philosophers
chewing the fat
but it is actually
a monologue
with a slight curvature

BRONSON ALCOTT
(1799-1888)

As a New England educator,
Mr. Bronson racially integrated classes
long before it was culturally acceptable
to do so.

His school introduced the idea
of gymnastics for young children 

The quote is from p. 224
of
The Stammering Century

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Footnote
Another Alcott quote appears
on the next page of Gilbert Seldes' book:

"That is a failure when a man's idea
ruins him, when he is dwarfed and killed
by it. But when he is ever growing by it,
ever true to it, and does not lose it
by any partial or immediate failures—
that is success, whatever it seems
to the world." 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

When Donald Trump Jr. Met The Hammer And Sickle Folks

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The transcript continues
here 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Footnotes

Steven Yablosky's code name is
LARRY DAVID

The next GoFather/Trump page is
here 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

But Guilty Is Not A Word In His Vocabulary (Comic Relief #2403)

________________________________________________________________________________________________

MICK STEVENS

________________________________________________________________________________________________

DJ-Verio #714285: Snow Time In August

________________________________________________________________________________________________

you make me laugh
your eyes light the night
they look right though me

you bashful boy
you're hiding something
sweet

please give it to me

talk to me some more

you don't have to go
you're the Poetry Man
you make things all rhyme

PHOEBE SNOW

Poetry Man

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Footnote
This sequence ends
 here
________________________________________________________________________________________________

Municipal Office Credo: Never Less Than 100% COMPETENCE

________________________________________________________________________________________________

⬆︎

The credo

is not 100% consistent

with

the sign

 ⬇︎

What is also known
as the
New MO Manifesto
appears  in the Municipal Offices
of numerous cities
across the United States.

With the italic
"practiced here,"
the sign appears on doors
and desks and counters
in countless offices

Without the italic
"practiced here,"
the phrase
100% COMPETENCE
appears on
Blue t-shirt Fridays.

But when visitors
encounter city managers
who convincingly
do not know
up from down
or 
yes from no,
the percentage
sounds
flagrantly wrong.

However,
every city office
is equipped with
an abundance of
managers and administrators.

Some of these people
are competent
as much as 15%
of the time
and if you total
those percentages,
the sum is
never less than
100%
 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Not So Lonely Sojourn Of Hank Haligram ... Chapter 3

________________________________________________________________________________________________

In 2018,

the man who could not play backgammon

because he hurt his back often said

that he had a wife and children

but they may very well have been

a hallucination.

In 1991,

Hank Haligram married Linda Castellano.

The wedding celebration

resembled  the opening scene

from the Godfather.

It was paid for by the man

who made an orphan

out of the bride

when he famously killed

her father.

In 2018,

Hank knew very well

that his wife and children

were not a hallucination.

TO

BE

CONTINUED

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Not So Lonely Sojourn Of Hank Haligram ... Chapter 2

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hank Haligram never touched

a hallucinogen in his entire life. 

Not even when his college roommates

were taking LSD.

Under the influence, his roommates

all had the same hallucination:

They saw am image of God

looking like and sounding like

Eleanor Roosevelt.

In 1988, Hank obtained 

a Master's Degree in Computer Science

from Villanova University.

As an undergraduate, he had lived 

in a dormitory with Social Science students.

As a graduate student, he lived

with Linda Castellano.

They had grown up together

in Howard Beach. 

In 1988, Linda obtained a Master's Degree

in Chemistry, graduating Magna Cum Laude.

***  

Thirty years later, Hank had more than

two hundred people working for him

but he never saw any of them,

face to face.

All of them were responsible

for Hank's favorite hallucinogen

being the "bottom line" as a result

of his "finger toy."

The toy was housed in a black box,

alongside an autographed picture

of Willie Mays.

It was no bigger than a credit card

and contained the digits,

one through nine.

It was a punch card and sometimes

the man who lived with Agony

would "punch" a sequence

of thirty digits to complete a code.

Each code represented a person,

place, chemical compound

and quantity.

The codes were untraceable

by any police force

or federal investigators.

The codes were sniffed by a cat

who loved potato chips.

Each code was a drug transaction

somewhere in the United States

or Canada resulting in "fat stacks"

or the "stack market."

It could be said that Hank lived

alone with Agony in a house where

the master built walls brick-by-brick.

Each brick was a stack of crisp

twenty dollar bills.  

The currency was untraceable

by any police force

or federal investigators.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Not So Lonely Sojourn Of Hank Haligram ... Chapter 1

________________________________________________________________________________________________

"I can't play backgammon, I hurt my back,"

he exclaimed to no one in particular.

Actually, he said it to no one

because he was home alone

except for his constant
companion, Agony.

There was a knock on the door

but Hank Haligram did not move
from his Barcalounger and, in truth,

there was no reason to do so.

Knock on the door

was code for any sound

created by his cat.

Agony was hungry despite being fed

a huge bowl of potato chips
by his master.

There was also a mustard dip

and a bowl of milk, slightly soured.

The television was tuned

to Channel 666 and the volume

contained as many decibels.

Hank called it the

DONALD TRUMP NETWORK 

and whenever the President farted,

the replay was in slow motion

with a ticker at the bottom of the screen

indicating the daily frequency

of Trump's flatulence.

Three years ago, Hank's wife moved out

of their Howard Beach home,

along with their three daughters

but Hank could only remember

two of their names.

The youngest daughter,

nine-year-old Amber,

persuaded her sisters

to pack up their mother's belongings

along with their own.

They loaded the Ford Bronco

in the middle of the night

while their parents slept.

The next morning, their mother

drove them to school and

—much to her delight—

the girls forced her 

to drive to California.

Hank did not realize they were gone

until two days after they left.

When he noticed that the refrigerator

was empty, he knew something was amiss.

So all he did that day was count his money.

Everywhere he looked, there were stacks

of twenty dollar bills.

Five hours later, he fell asleep

only to be awakened by chest pains.

Agony was spread-eagled on his chest,
meowing for more mustard dip.
***

The man who could not play backgammon

because he hurt his back often said

that he had a wife and children

but they may very well have been

a hallucination.

Hallucinatory drugs were never

to far from Hank's mind.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The 104th Bullet: How To Achieve Perfection

________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you can selectively
eliminate 33% of your memory,
you can then justify to yourself
that you are without defect
and have never been wrong
or harmful to anyone
in your entire life

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 Footnotes

THE 104th BULLET 
is the copyrighted property of  LCSoL.
 
Only the first 45 Bullets are linked together
because we do not want to make life easy
for our favorite thieves.
 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

DJ-Verio #571428: Gee Officer Krupke

________________________________________________________________________________________________

dear kindly judge, your honor
my parents treat me rough
with all their marijuana
they won't give me a puff
they didn't wanna have me
but somehow I was had
leapin' lizards!
that's why I'm so bad!

L. BERNSTEIN/ S.SONDHEIM

Gee, Officer Krupke 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Footnote
This sequence continues
here
________________________________________________________________________________________________

A Page With Nothing But The Words Of ANDRE MAUROIS

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Man Triangulated Below Has An Alter Ego Named Andy Moore

________________________________________________________________________________________________

The need to express oneself in writing

springs from a maladjustment to life,

or from an inner conflict,

which the adolescent

(or grown man)

cannot resolve

in action

***

ANDRE MAUROIS

***

In every

junior college

fiction writing class,

the words above are quoted

verbatim but it must be admitted

that the full quotation is downright ornery

To give pith and potency to the meaning

of these words, we can direct

our attention to Maurois'

alter ego, Andy Moore,

who once said

the following

words:

When life gives you pain,

you give it literature

***

However,

Andy would have

a difficult time improving

on Andre's profoundly powerful

quote about a slightly different subject

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Footnotes
Andre Maurois was much too philosophically
profound to be limited to this page.

Therefore, please visit
that page

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Long Beach Convention Center Now Hosting The DBEA

________________________________________________________________________________________________


With a gazillion miles of bicycle trails,
Long Beach promotes itself as being
Bicycle Friendly

Throughout the city,
artfully designed posts
bolted to sidewalks
(such as this one) ➨
present many places
to securely lock up
bicycles

However,
the bike-happy promotion
is contrary to the sad truth:
bicycle theft in Long Beach
happens with profound frequency 

The city should promote itself as being
Bicycle Theft Friendly

If you can find an adult bicyclist

in Long Beach who has never had

a bike stolen then he or she

is probably attending

the DBEA convention

DBEA stand for

Dubious Bicycle Exporters Association

My bicycle was stolen
four months ago

It probably can be found
somewhere in the streets
of Asia or Malaysia

Bicycle theft is big business

in Long Beach, even bigger

than legal marajuana

________________________________________________________________________________________________
Footnotes
The photograph of the orange wheel
is the copyrighted property of LCSoL

The other photograph is a gift
from our friend Jay Peggy 
________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Baby-In-The-Carriage Shoplifting Gambit

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ernest Hemingway

Toronto Star Weekly
(April 3, 1920) 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Footnote
The baby in the carriage
grew up to become
one of the notorious
Saluggi Sisters 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

One Way Or The Sky Way w/ The Broken Bike, Sequentially

________________________________________________________________________________________________

© Oliverio
(6x)

________________________________________________________________________________________________